The Beast of Lansing: Facts on the monster compiled through research.
 

-It is known to scratch one's face and attack the genitals when spoken to by it's true name.

-It enjoys wallowing in it's own urine and the urine of others to give it's skin it's repulsive yellow hue.

-It's hunger is unfathomable.

-It bears an unquestionable resemblance to Meg Griffin

-It has an insatiable need to collect ill-fitted mail order dresses.

-It has internet access and when not bathing in urine and feasting on the genitals of it's neighbors can be spotted at the gothic.net message board.

It's also seriously deluded and thinks it is actually incredibly good looking. Conclusion it has a fear of reflective surfaces.

I know, take a look at the very words of the Beast:

Note how she was so insecure in this post about telling a blatent lie that the Beast couldn't even type the word very, but instead typed ver.


When it comes down to it, it's much harder for people to type out lies than people think... especially when photographic evidence exists that contradicts the tall tale.

-Some say that The Beast of Lansing was once a human female. Though this is usually shrugged off as legend, most likely created to frighten small children. It is simply too ridiculous to consider such a hideous change to be factual.

Interesting hypothesis Helpmann. Consider also that ver secure, when slurred, is only so far off from 'vesicated'. Perhaps the truth of Unimatrix's horrendous psoriasis, brought on by consistent exposure to infected urine, is bubbling-- excuse the pun-- to the surface here.

While on a hunting expedition I was unlucky enough to cross paths with the beast. Do not be fooled by it's soft words, or want for attention. I have found that this is all a ploy to draw you in..bring you closer to it. I lost some of my best men to this hideous fiend, most of which vanished in the night whilst taking a piss on some shrubbery. Little did we know this was the beast's lair, oh how it frolicked in the urine soaked underbrush.. I thought I may try to approach it whilst it's guard was down. I was wrong. In the blink of an eye this..this thing went from being a kindhearted creature to a vile monster. I barely escaped with my life.

The beast of lansing makes the images of big foot and the abominable snowman look like supermodels. one can only hope that there isnt a male of this ghastly species. The thought of this breeding is disturbing. In fact, nobody would want to even so much as r.ape it

It's an arse-licker.

so its a hideous pissing rimmer?

Okay just seriouslyy fuck off. This is not on.

My laydees, please tell them this isn't on.

You bring it upon yourself...

Retard. Learn to spell. You might learn that in school if you werent so repulsive that you were such an easy target for abuse.

Do you ring or text your boyfriend, or do you just open the door and howl?

*Weren't
africanamericantext

Thank you for pointing that out. Got side tracked with a vomiting 3yr old.......very lax of me

-The Beast of Lansing has been sighted many times speaking into thin air, as if to imaginary accomplices, to what it refers to as "my laydees". It is predicted that it's lonely existence has led it to go a bit mad. Though who can truly fathom the insane and twisted logic of such a creature is up to anyone's imagination.

Awww you poor baby Alarica, so insecure.

Have a huggle, you so sorely need it

*Squeezy hugglz to wash away all your insecurities*

Are you just trying to annoy people with this kind of crud? Or is there a higher purpose to these scribblings?

Ugh tuk cuh kah uuuug

*huggles you jack_the_knife*

-BEWARE of the Beast and do not approach it. This repulsive creature is ugly both inside and out. It has less understanding of language than your run of the mill zombie. She lacks the verbal capacity to make legible responses, but can communicate, albeit ineffectively, through a series of grunts. She is very highly strung and prone to violent outbursts, often directing these at the genitals. It is therefore safe to assume sexual depravity has made a firm grip on her being.

Is the Beast of Lansing aware that it's affections are the last thing any sane man would seek? Who can tell? What is seen as a disgusting attack could be everything it appears to be. Maybe it is well aware of it's vileness and intends to disgust. Maybe not. The Beast is truly a mystery.

Uch tok tak gluk fuck hak

*steals your binoculars, pisses on you and huggles*

?? are you on drugs? You are on the wrong thread.

You give the creature too much credit considering that it's behavior may be the side effect of drugs. These are simply the ways to The Beast. There is no human way of reasoning with it.

There is a song, by Hole, that is so perfect for this

Aren't you supposedly a grown woman with children?

I'm so disinfecting him when we next speak...

I'll make allowances for you, seeing as you are obviously a bit special and therefore dont quite have a grasp of the internet or any understanding of me.

Firstly, pull your head out of your arse. Secondly, if you have issues with your own sisters inability to be a good parent in your eyes, take it up with her. This is the internet love. I dont have to be a responsible adult, on account of i'm not responsible for anyone on here. If you need babysitting and taking care of, and someone to tell you how pretty you are, ring your dad.

It is a little embarrassing.

You the bitch that stole my Sharpie?

Right. Moving on.

As an adult and mother, you feel it's acceptable to mock CHILDREN over the internet for absolutely no reason?

That means your kids are fair game, right?

I have also asked her this question a few times (above), for the same reasons (below):

..............................................

huh?

ten characters.

Sums you lot up perfectly. Therefore, LET THE ROASTING COMMENCE!

No, I feel it is acceptable to mock idiots, like you, Ophelia, and call you a child because that is how you behave. Christ will you learn to read my other posts where i made it perfectly clear that if people will behave like children, i will treat them as such. But by asking if i think it is acceptable to mock children over the internet, you are admitting that you are infact, a child. And i mock you for a reason.

And seeing as my children arent on this forum, you are behaving more and more like a child by the minute.

Since you are CLEARLY going to continue to prove your immaturity by insisting on making my children fair game, I point out, once more, for the child whos a bit slap happy with her sharpie, I havent mocked any children on here. I have mocked individuals who behave like children. You and Uni.

In that case, you must treat YOURSELF like a child.

Ohhhhhhhhh thats good. I hope yer mascara didnt run when you were thinking THAT one up. Hurt yer brain a bit did it?

Oh another retard to add to the list. Clearly you do not grasp the concept either. Let me break it down for you SLOWLY seeing as you are having a hard time understanding what i said. BEHAVE LIKE A CHILD AND I TREAT YOU LIKE A CHILD. I am not responsible for making your life all flowers and hugs. If you dont like being treated like a child there are 2 options.
1) stop acting like one.

or

2) put me on ignore.

As Bat Attack said quite clearly, you act like a child. And I 'childishly' predict that you will call me a 'child' simply for pointing that out. I find your inability to take criticism quite childish, and would very much like to supply some 'punishment' to your behind. ;)

I did not say I disliked being treated like a child, partly because you haven’t actually treated anyone on here like a child - you obviously don’t know HOW to treat a child.
I’m not going to put you on ignore purely because I find your posts rather amusing. Your arrogant, ignorant and trifling posts do make me laugh.
Do you really think I want my life to be all flowers and hugs??? I’m not Unimatrix, can’t you read?

You, fuck off, thats my job.


fuck off and cry somewhere then. the rest of us will have fun pissing off anonymous basement dwellers who couldnt outsmart a 5 yr old girl.

Thank you and GOOOOOOOOOOOOOODNITE!

Alarica: Uni is quite clearly a young woman who is emotionally unstable. She has tried to get some emotional support form the members of these boards and has admitted that she doesn't really have a handle on her emotions. Yes she gets defensive rather quickly and her reaction to insults are quite over the top but she has also shown remorse for her actions and has attempted, albeit unsuccessfully, to change her behavior and when she isn't being attacked she can hold a pretty decent conversation. You, a supposedly mature individual, chose to attack her, not because she did something to offend you or because she has been mean to you, but because you think that she has acted like a child. Who is really being immature here?

my votes on uni.

I thought you were Alarica's boyfriend, seeing as the only posts you have made are defending her...Either that, or an account that Alarica made herself to make it seem like someone was backing her up, that would explain the ridiculous name... (Being so defensive about herself, that does sound like they type of thing she would do. She’s obviously very insecure.)

It’s quite amusing, that Alarica felt it the need to invite you here to defend her against people over the internet that she’s never met, over such trivial little things.

Ok, you are obviously 1 of those people who sees the good in someone who has several times on this forum changed her character like jekyl and hyde. She thinks its ok to literally pummel someone for calling her names, allegedly, and makes it clear she has no remorse for her actions. She hasnt got a handle on reality, let alone her emotions. It is classic attention seeking and i, like a lot of people dont care. There is no excuse for it. And it is not defensive to constantly tell people to fuck off. That is an inability to respond appropriately. The same way a 3yr old will scream 'go away'.

I am not attacking the stupid girl because she is acting like a child, I am attacking her because unlike you and obviously several others, i am not going to placate her behaviour and pass it off as being emotionally unstable. Let me put it simply for you. She has come back, AGAIN, stating she is starting afresh AGAIN and is going to ignore people who are mean to her AGAIN and then she instantly disagrees with someone and calls them a bitch, right after i had spoken to her and was willing to see if she was actually capable of being a decent person and standing up for the things she said. She isnt. And her reaction to me pointing out shes talking out of her arse is to then tell me to fuck off. So i assure you it isnt for nothing

If you want to defend her, that is entirely your prerogative. However i wont. I dont know if you actually bothered to read her drivel but she couldnt care less if people think shes just fucked in the head and needs a little bit of love. Shes playing games with you all. Just a pity so many are too stupid to realise that. She is 1 of those classic drama queens who will announce shes going to kill herself 1 day, because she knows so many of you will run to her and hold her hand, beg her not to do it. And because you are so sucked in you will actually believe her. She needs a straight jacket, not pity.

LMFAO. if you had an ounce of intelligence you would have noticed he and i were online at the same time. And before you comment on others having ridiculous names, you should look at yours Bat Attack pmfp.

Yep, i'm so insecure i might start a childish thread like the water baby ophelia did. Challenge someone whos blatantly hotter than me to a hotness vote and see how many people choose me.

On which note, Ra is far fitter and her photos are incredible.

Precisely. Your job is to fuck off as I punish Alarica. Now, hurry on, or it might hurt your virgin eyes.

Either you're blind or just incredibly spiteful.

There are many more important things in life than giving a shit about who’s online at the same time, you wouldn’t know. If YOU had at least an ounce of intelligence you would have a job...

Oh and you're right, I don't have just an ounce of intelligence - I have much more.