Random people who talk to you
 

You know what I hate? When you're sitting in a place such as a resturant, etc., and people have to sit RIGHT NEXT TO YOU. For example; I'm sitting in a fast food resturant, reading or listening to music; you have the whole rest of the empty resturant to sit anywhere you'd like, and you sit RIGHT THERE, a foot away from me. It just seems like unneccesary invasion to me.
Or people who talk to you when you're clearly busy or don't want to be talked to. I have literally had to get up and walk away from people who cannot take social ques, and will yap away despite my glaring and one word answers and obvious annoyance.
One time I was reading, my head down in my book, very intent on the material. Guy comes up to me, creepy old guy, perhaps drunk, and starts talking very loudly about the fucking weather while I'm reading. I hunch my shoulders forward, get deeper into my book, ignore him for the most part, heck even cover my ears in front of him, and he KEEPS TALKING.
When I'm eating, why do you have to stare at me? I was taking my lunch break once and this guy was watching me, making unbroken eye contact with me every time I looked at him, until finally I got up and sat somewhere else.

Don't sit so close to me that you're practically sitting on my lap when I don't know you. I'm not your friend.

Don't talk to me for the sake of talking. talking about the weather is so stupid and unneccesary when it comes to talking to strangers. No, I did not initiate contact with you, so why do you feel the need to gravitate towards me and forcefully chat with me about how gorgeous the weather is?

Seriously, I'm not a friendly fucking looking person. So why do the stupidest people have to talk to me?

That is annoying. Have you ever had someone tell you their entire life story while waiting for the bus? I have. One time it was really scary. I think she was in an abusive relationship. Another guy was visiting his dying Mother in the hospital. That's all part of appearing friendly.

Ah, the unwanted social contact... I find that it is reduced a little when one is wearing headphones.

I've also noticed, that in an empty restaurant people do tend to sit right next to or close, despite the fact that the rest of the place is empty, and then some even engage in obnoxiously loud conversation. I've also noticed that a lot of times when one is being seated the server's tend to seat one right next to other patrons, instead of spacing people out, however I think that would have more to do with sections for the servers and not wholly out of a desire to make one feel slightly awkward.

If some one comes to me to make conversations that I do not wish to have I usually just tell them, as politely as possible, to leave me alone.

Hmm... I don't have this problem. At least, not anymore.

As long as I'm not getting creep vibes or they aren't offensive, I don't mind it, I met some pretty interesting people that way. Never happened in a restaurant but people who sit near me at the bus stop or on the bus is pretty common.

Now creeps on the street who somehow think if they say enough degrading things I`ll give them a blowjob, those I hate.

Most of the time, in social situations, blunt and tactless is the way to go. I'm normally a guy who doesn't want to offend or hurt a person's feelings, but generally people don't get or don't respect polite responses and diplomatic attempts to ask them to leave you alone.

In the end, the best approach is like ripping off a band-aid ... tell them what you want quickly and directly. Do not hunch your shoulders or bury your face in your book. Tell them immediately, first thing, in a firm, self-confident voice that you are not in the mood to talk and do not want his/her company.

Otherwise, if you go through all the gestures you've been doing, people will absolutely hang around because they think they just have to wear you down. You're not sending a clear signal, no matter what YOU think your shoulder shrugs and one word answers should be communicating.

I never understood that, from creeps on the street, construction workers on the job, jocks at the football field ... oh, I could go on with the stereotypes but generally, there are way too many men who thing the way to a woman's charms is to be insulting, condescending and downright mean.

WTF? How come in all my years I've never seen that work, and yet they keep doing it?

I think at least 90% of them do it just to be mean and make themselves feel like big bad men. They know it won`t work, they just like humiliating other people.

On topic.

Yeah, I find that weird as well. It seems to be par for the course where I live, though, but is something I've -never- gotten used to.

I usually just smile, and try to end the conversation as politely and quickly as possible.

As to -why- people do it...well, perhaps you just look like an interesting person they want to get to know..? Even if you don't intend to look that way, sometimes it just happens.

Hmmm ... I always like to imagine that they do it because it makes their buddies laugh ... so maybe they're just trying to get in good enough with one of their buddies that HE'LL give the dude a blowjob.

Cause that work isn't going to do itself and clearly the woman who's the object of the ridicule isn't going to do it.

Why does feminism have to be brought up explicitly in this thread? First it was attention from strangers that we don't want and now it's bitching about men being rude to women in public. Ugh. Feminism is annoying.

^ I don't think it has anything to do with feminism. It's just that guys trying to get girls' attention in public by being loud and obnoxious is the most common of this kind of interaction.

If you aren't a girl, it's understandable why you wouldn't notice it as much. ;)

Dude, its a type of attention from strangers that is unwanted.

*rollseyes*

I'd bet the farm that you guys don't get nearly as much of that attention than you let on. I bet it's not nearly that big of a deal to have to bitch about it.

Also, I think you failed to realize who you're speaking to. Being the specimen of beautiful male that I am, it was VERY common where I used to live to get cat calls and rude remarks all the time. As it is though, I've been guilty of complaining about this very thing before when it was indeed a much more common occurrence. So no, this has NOTHING to do with being a female. I'm just annoyed that it seems like once again, this kind of discussion is going in the direction of feminine complaints.

No, but it has everything to do with feminism, stupid.

Agreed. I've had customers come into my work, try to get me to do them secial favors or break the rules for them etc., and use the excuse "My sn just went to jail!" "I'm having a realy bad day!" "But I have breast cancer!"

And what do you base that on? Its not everyday but it happens more than it should. Although its not as bad as I hear it is in other places where people will masturbate in front of you.

But yeah, sexual harrassment isn't a big deal, why do we ever complain? We should just take it as a compliment that someone would love to let us know that they'd like to orally **** us.


Yeah its only very beautiful people who cant help getting praise who get sexually harrassed by strangers. They just can't help themselves. They have to let us know that they want to shove their cocks up our asses and slap us like a bitch!

And no one said it only happens to women anyway. Its just that, as a woman, all the cat calls come from men. I'm sorry I didn't add "and also I bet Kontan got cat called too from women, I should mention that otherwise he might get annoyed that something focused on the experience I have as an individual and grow concerned that there is a feminist conspiracy on Gnet."

And you complain about people complaining about sexual harrassment, but you had nothing bad to say about complaining about people just trying to strike up a conversation?

Thanks, I just don't want to piss anyone off to the point of causing confrontation.

Kontan: Dude, it's annoying -every- time it happens, no matter how rare it is. [If you've experienced it, then you should know. ;)]

It's doubly annoying when I'm trying to walk to work in upper 90s heat, at 7:30 in the morning on a week day, not looking my best, and a drunk guy in a hooptie pulls over and tries to talk me into coming over to his car.

OTOH, it -also- annoys me when a random female cashier tries to tell me her life story just because I made the mistake of saying to her yes, that particular brand of cheese is very tasty.

I hope not. Because that is a stupid complaint, and this is a stupid thread. I'd rather discuss this about harassment than humoring the socially inept OP.

I also have a bit of a problem with people talking to me in unwanted wayes. Its usually homeless people. Its ok thou they give me perfect oppurtunities to verbally barrage them with every ounce of stress i posess at the moment. If they get violent then i get to kill them. And the wonders of the western judicial system continue. AMERICA- FUCK YEAH.

but seriously When i find myself in an uncomfortable social situation i usually make myself the least likely person to want to talk to. I (a guy) start putting on lipstick, or picking my fingernails with a pocket knife usually reserved for cleaning deer. the unblinking stare in siouxie eyes usually chills the blood of most obnoxious idiots

Kontan, I'm afraid I just don't find it conceivable that you're cat-called as frequently as is even a moderately attractive woman. Maybe you're an Adonis whose sublime beauty inspires all who look upon you to ecstatic worship, but speaking as a mundanely attractive man, neither I nor any of my male friends can claim to have been made audience to unsolicited remarks as frequently as even the plainest girl I know. Bear in mind, I even invited heckling by wearing a cape for a year.
Really, it DOES have a bit to do with being female. Chicks are almost categorically smaller and weaker than we are. If you or I were faced with the inverse of what for young, New York women is a common experience-- were a girl to approach us from behind and whisper "get on your knees and lick me bitch" or actually seize us by the wrist and pull-- we can shrug it off, literally or figuratively. A girl, on the other hand, finds herself in a potentially dangerous situation, and the frequency with which she does can create long-term emotional distress.
Look, I know it's a bummer having been just barely born into a time when male ownership of women is no longer implicitly recognized by society at large, but let's not ignore reality just because we're mad at feminism.

Haha this post made me LOL!

I get that all the time. People do the same thing in parking lots. I park my car in an area clear of cars, then suddenly, someone will pull up and park right next to me, even though there are one hundred other open spaces. I just don't get it. I think maybe people are lonely and feel the need to be close to others.

I am also a weirdo magnet. I like weirdos, but these people I attract are weirdo, weirdo! I once had a guy come into my store yelling, "Double X, Double X!" while crossing his hands in the air. He saw me and got down on one knee and asked me to marry him haha! Another time while I was at the mall in Downtown, I had a couple follow me around in the mall and on the buss, they also followed me home and befriended me haha, they were bored navy kids.

Then you left the Castro?

So this thread has become a thread about sexual harassment instead of people just bugging you in general?

Honestly, I was simply pointing out that I notice a LOT of feminist stuff permeating in Saya's posts which get kind of annoying. But yeah, didn't we already have threads like that? Why can't this one be about people bugging you when you don't want it?

But sure, let's talk about sexual harassment instead of the original crux of the thread.

Because the original poster and most people who agree with her come off to me like misanthropic fucks who are in a public place, are confronted with a person who, as dull or crazy or ridiculous as they might be, choose to see other people in their vicinity as actual people instead of merely aggregates, and instead of taking the opportunity to listen to the person and maybe even liven their day, the little shitheads get pissed off because their music is more important.
I'd rather talk about people who approach others with genuinely dickish behavior.

Kontan, the amount of thread-jacking that was done by Saya and I discussing a subset of the annoying people talking to you problem, namely the subset of annoying people sexually harrasing women, was minimal compared to the amount of thread-jacking that has resulted from your bitching about it.

There used to be a guy who caught the same bus every morning. The bus would be practically empty and he'd always sit next to the young girls on the bus. Once I caught an early bus home, and he got on, and practically sat on my lap - there was about 6 people on the articulated bus - it was just gross and freaked me right out. But then I was younger, now I'd just shove past him and get my own seat somewhere else.

Once when I was 16, I had three guys from a garage truck stop and surround me on a very busy main street. They thought I needed cheering up, and I was too scared and in shock about what I could do. They eventually got bored and left me alone, but it was around the same time that a lot of kids my age were disappearing and turning up dead. Man I was so sheltered.

Regarding catcalls etc, I've noticed its when a group of the same sex individuals get together, they do crazy things. Where I used to live there was a huge public outcry because girls could never walk past a building site without getting some sort of catcall (regardless of what you looked like).

But then I've seen groups of girls do the same things to guys, maybe not so much the catcalling and wolf whistles but in their own style (giggling, laughing, calling out to the guy)

it's annoying and I generally ignore it and I'm past the age where I get bothered in public anymore.... although last week I was out walking with a pram, behind two big islander guys and we all got a wolf whistle from some kids who were parked in their cars. I didn't look but the islander guys gave them a mean glare - i think they scared the crap out of the kids. LOL.

Oh man. I cant stand when people at my school try to act like im going to kill everyone because i wear Tripp pants. Stupid preps.

I usually just ask people to leave me alone, however if they seem to be overly incompetent I tend to ...act differently. When I was in high school I just rocked back and forth and yelled they were trying to cheat and screamed obscenities. Oddly enough no matter what I pulled the teachers never went after me. If being straight up doesn't work then just confuse the shit out of them. Most people will leave you alone if you make them look sane.

Jesus christ, how can you people act with indignation against the rest of the world, are you fucking listening to yourselves?

Alan what are you talking about? Preps suck.

Yeah, why talk about unwanted attention that has a statistically significant chance of being gender-specific, when we could be discussing the general superiority of We Who Walk With the Night?

You fail to understand, ALAN, that without our misanthropic affectations we goths would be way less edgy and awesome. You simply must be a preppy spy.

Oh snap liking people means that I have no goth cred? Damn, oh well I do look fantastic in vibrant colors so the wardrobe change shouldn't be too bad.

The people who tend to approach me are people visiting the area and wanting a local’s opinion or those who I see but don’t know, like the people who shop at the same grocery store or frequent the same coffee shop. I actually don’t mind talking to those people, hell I’ve made a few friends that way after all it is one of the few ways to meet new people these days and I’m too shy to do it myself.

I also get that sometimes people don’t take cues and will approach you when you are busy. Generally saying something like “If you need something I’d be happy to help but I’m really engrossed in this book” will do the trick. Catcalls aren’t too much of a problem as long as it is just a catcall and you can keep on walking, guys approaching you spouting explicit remarks are cause for concern, thankfully the latter rarely happens to me.

This is very likely true. =)

Me personally, I'm just not a "people" person. Shopping and eating out would be a lot more pleasant if there weren't so many other folks around when I do it.

lol. FnA right Aparthy. I'll bet he is a spy.

Well I am glad I don't have this problem.
People tend to steer clear of me. Probably due to the mix of being fat, wearing a trenchcoat and having unusual hair and piercings.
I believe the "unwanted social contact" rises along with a person not being scary and how attractive they are.
The few people that do talk to me are usually lonely or somewhat mentally unfortunate, and hey, I won't die from entertaining them for a while.
It may just make their day, and I won't lose anything from it.
But it doesn't happen too often.
However, I have had several pushers come up to me and assuming that if they talk enough to me after confusing my gender, I will buy their crap.
That is what annoys me, not the social contact of society.
We are a pack animal. That's just the way it is I believe.

I will admit to being very misanthropic and people hating.
I don't care if they see me as another person or what but people are aggrevating and annoying.
I don't want to hear them, don't care what they have to say, and its not my responsibility to liven their day.
They way I see it these annoying little rejects force themselves on people because really no one wants to talk to them and they have nothing to say.
YES, what I'm doing IS more important than one what local retard wants to say to me, and just because I choose not to humor you by pretending to like you, or because I genuinely don't want to talk to you, does not make me a dick, just makes you a loser.

Yeah, especially people that can't spell aggravating, they are the fucking worst.

This thread is http://www.exotic-footwear.ru/big_jpg/clown.jpg

oh geez, a spelling nazi. Oh you're totally right; this thread is just fucking destroyed because of a spelling error.
get a life.

Why do -either- of you have to have a negative connotation? Why can't you just be a loner, and the other person just be lonely? Both are perfectly normal human conditions.

Don't get me wrong; I get massively irritated with society at large myself! But I guess I'm trying to be less...hostile about it lately. [Being angry and frustrated all the time is draining.]

If I am in a severely a-social mood, I'll try to stay at home. If it's one of those days when I have to go to work, well...I only work with 2 other people, so it's not so bad.

JCC's grandfather was in Treblinka, but you just had to go there, didn't you?

Get a life? You're the one who's 'misanthropic'. Typically when someone says 'get a life' they mean 'get out more', but what could you mean? 'Get out less'? 'Be less charismatic'?

*snicker* ... JCC, that was good.

My least favorite unwanted social contact.. is when people try to get me to believe in jesus.... I don't know if this ever happens to you guys.. but it happens to me all the time... on the bus, its happened at work... the bastards even come to my house. :(

I don't even mind that all the time, once these really hot twins came up to me and started talking to me about the Mormon church, then offered their card saying that I can call them and invite them over to my house to talk about Jesus.

I think the Mormons are trying to use sex appeal to gain converts now.

That happens to me while I'm at work.. and its a battle between being polite to the customer, and asserting that I'm an atheist and to fuck off.

^ Unless you want to lose your job, I'd suggest just being polite about it, and ranting about it in the privacy of your home later.

Also, telling them you're an atheist could just add more fuel to their fire; is that what you -really- want?