Fathers?
 

I was wondering if it’s just me and most of the people I know or is it everyone?

It seems like most people don’t know their fathers or their dads suck. All I’ve seen is dead beat dads or jail birds etc.

Almost all my friends are in the same place as me when it comes to dads.

Examples:

Friend #1: He doesn’t know his "real" dad but he does have a step father. His mom is getting a divorce, because the step dad got caught with a hooker. (His mom is crazy as well)

Friend #2: Her dad is a efffing pedophile (she’s trying to press charges) ( she now lives with her mom) Her dad is in some other country with his 19 year old wife.

Friend # 3 never met his dad.

And of course my father: He’s rotting in some jail cell (he has life). And know my mom wants me to go see him. I really don’t want to he’s a crazy bastard and I’ve gotten this far with out him why go see him know. (he can burn in hell hi deserves as much)


So is it just me and the people I know or are all the dads like this?

Opps I just read that and there are a few typos sorry.

There are a lot out there I suppose, but I'm the only one of my friends who doesn't have a relationship with her father. Though a lot of my friends who have babies don't have the father around either because they're assholes.

My parents divorced at 3 because my dad didn't want to work unless he was self-employed, but he never made enough money that way. He was basically a bum and wouldn't spend his money wisely. He never EVER paid child support, and I've only seen him TWICE since the divorce (that's over 21 years ago).

I saw him once when I was 9, and once when I was 17. Both were for just a few days. I realized what a narcistic jerk he could be when I was 17. He hardly ever called, but when he did (or when he wrote letters) it would be all this self-pity, crying, acting like a baby, and all about mememememe. He never bothered to ask how MY life was going, and he'd lose track of how old I was. I haven't been in any kind of contact with him now in 7 years. He doesn't know what city I live in, nor does he have my phone #. He's in another state somewhere, as usual, and he moves frequently.

My mom thinks he's Bipolar or something similar. He can act like a baby and throw temper-tantrums over the dumbest things.

My dad is not bad. But, there's the simple misunderstandings and the few things that's gone on that I don't really care to expose right now.

We're pretty much on neutral grounds with the acknowledgment that we love each other. But we simply can NOT understand each other. It's a clash of opinions and a weird kind of past. I try to keep the contact minimal at best.

I still live with my parents and I get along with my dad pretty well. He gives me hot chocolate in the morning, which is always sure to win me over.

My dad is my favorite parent. He's smarter and wiser than my mother, and more "evened out." He controls himself far better, too.

I think my opinion on fathers "sucking" has spilled over into my thoughts on men in general.
Thats a very bad thing........

Possibly, but not necessarily. Two close people I know have absolute no-accounts for fathers. One was sexually abusive and was sent to prison, and the other is just a drunken, negligent bastard.

And not that my own father's a bad person, but he isn't the most responsible either. My parents have been divorced since I was a tot, and since then I haven't seen him for more than a few weeks a year because he still hasn't gotten around to moving to our state though he's been saying he would for ages.

My dad and I are practically 'best buds'. My mom and me constantly fight, so if I have a problem or something, I am more likely to go to my dad than my mom. And of course he taught me how to drift and drive a stick. :D

I don't know if my dad is even still alive. That's how insignificant he is to me.

I live with my mom, like my sister. This has been the case since I was 8 years old, after my mom left my dad because of his being a narcistic, selfish, controlling, egotistical bastard. I see him maybe once a month, but only because I feel sorry for him. But when my sister and I do visit him, his only intent is to parade us around his relatives and compare us to their children, our cousins.

A lot of people have fathers. A lot don't. Some people have great dads, some have terrible ones, and no one's dad is perfect. People are imperfect. The father no longer being HOH is part of society's breakdown.

The worst part of it, I think, is that children are so critical of their parents, but becoming their parents is so hard to avoid.

I feel lucky. I generally get along with my family pretty well. :)

Ah, interesting topic here. My father was my favorite person because he understood me but not all times. Done a great job even thought I may have not always agreed with him. He was supportive about my sewing interests, hell he would give me his credit card and let me get what fabrics or stuff I needed (NOT what I wanted). Hanging out with him here and there was great. Now we live different cities and we chat online with webcam.

Way back in my teenage years, I had a step father, who was a racist and a pervert. He did hit me and dislocated my shoulder a few times. He also molested my brother and had bi-sexual affairs behind my mother's back. I caught my step-father sexually assulting my brother and tried to tell my mother. My mother TOTALLY refused to listen to me and accused me of trying to ruin her marriage with him. I hated my mother this for many years because of this sick old fart.

By then I was asked to live with my father, life was better but I ended leaving my brother behind, because he wanted to stay with my mother. I tried to convince him to live with our father but he refused. Later on, about 1990, He was dying from cancer, B.S.!!! I think it was something else. why else was my mother getting certain tests done. Mind you, she found she has nothing, whew.
The last words I told him in his face just before he died was "F*** YOU". I NEVER shed a tear at his funeral, hell I wanted to laugh my ass off. Afterwards when my mother placed his urn (ashes inside), I took a handful, went to the bathroom. I am sure you all get the idea what I did after that, then I simply flushed it and yelled out in the house "REVENEGE IS SO F****** SWEET!!!".
My father and my grandmother thought it was sooooo damn funny.

Please forgive me if it sounded like I disrespected the dead here, but this is one dead sorry-assed f*** I will never forgive or pay my respects to.

NOW I got that off my chest, whew.

Funny that about 4 yrs ago, my mother came to me and my brother and asked for forgiveness. Now she realized she should have gotten rid of my step-father after I tried telling her. I forgave her, but I couldn't forget.

I will share this with everyone in Gnet here. I am a father of 2 teenagers, I have one son(15) and one daughter(14). Unfortunetly they don't live with me and they have separate mothers.

I do see my daughter very often and I do pay my child support and never missed a payment.

For my son, well I just met him about 4 yrs ago now, because his mother didn't tell me about him after all these years until now, but that's another story. It hurt like hell knowing that I missed out 10 yrs of the boy's life and his mother did explain why she didn't tell me, so all's forgiven now. I just have to do my best on being a father for them both.

They think it's cool having a Goth Dad, LOL :D

My biological father was a lowlife who left my mother and I while I was still a wi little tot. During elementary school my mother dated, had several failed marriages, then finally met a quality man who could put up with her 'personality'. He went through the legal process of adopting me. My stepdad, as I choose to refer to him as, fulfilled the function of a real father. I consider him to be my real dad. I grew to love him (as much as I was capable at that time), admire him, and trust him. Oh, he had his flaws, and he made some emotionally/psychologically abusive mistakes along the way, but for the most part, he was a good father to me. We keep in (purposefully limited) contact to this day and I hope to continue maintaining contact. He has since divorced my mother. Let's just say he 'woke up' and "liberated' himself from her 'ways'. He has since remarried to a new wife and has fathered 2 daughters of his own.

I respect my stepdad. he was the male role-model that a person needs growing up. Better late than never. He instilled ethics, values, and integrity in me. He did a good job.

My mother on the other hand...

That's a whole nother story.

I never got to know my father because he never wanted to know me. The last time I saw him was in Germany nine years ago. That's a part of my life I do not usually remember, except in my nightmares.

Just for the record, I think my dad thinks I'm gay.


One time we were watching TV, and it was a show about a gay dude coming out, and he said "You can tell me, Skyler."

xD

He may have been joking, though. We have dry senses of humor.




But again, my dad is one cool cat.
I have pictures of him from college with bongs.

In the goddamn 80s
http://s47.photobucket.com/albums/f1...e/davepunk.jpg




My mom says he's an "alternative dad" :P

He looks like he rocks. I envy you, Skyler Maggot. My father used to beat me.

My dad has always been there for me. He and my mom recently celebrated their 60th wedding anniversary.

I know this is not the usual situation; I remember my daughter complaining when she was in grade school that she only had one set of parents. She wanted to be like all her friends. *rolleyes*

I have to agree! I would say he owns, but you own more. I can see where you got your hair from. :D
You are indeed a lucky son Mag.

Yep. :D


Once I'm 16, in half a year, I'll be able to choose which parent I live with. I'm thinking of moving in with him, if he's okay with it.

My dad is pretty kick-ass. I also think that he and my step-mom (who I also love to no end) are secretly goth. Hahaha. My dad and his buddies used to hang out in old abandoned manors and he likes The Cure. My (step) mom painted their bedroom dark red and got a black swirly-framed bed and constantly reads Edgar Allen Poe. My dad also said if I can find and get a station wagon he'd make it into a hearse for me. Swizzle.

:D That's pretty awesome.

Ha ha. Speaking of that....take a look. It starts off kind of slow, but...

http://comedy.videosift.com/video/A-...Sons-Boyfriend

Wow! :)
That's so cool, Matt~man, this makes me look back at how awful my childhood was though. God.

Your very lucky my dad is an asshole [long story]

I think girls generally like mothers more, and MEN generally like their fathers more.


At least, it's a trend I've noticed.

My God Father is the best, he lives kinda far away but I go visit every summer he's not my real dad but he acts like it.

He has his owns son but he's sooo cute .

He used to date my mom and after they broke up but they stayed friends and he's always taken time out for me. ( he’s a real GOOD guy.)

He wants to take me to visit my "real" dad because he's noticed "problems" in my "attitude". And he thinks that meeting my "father" might help.

My moms always talking about how she doesn’t understand why I "hate" my "father" sooooooo much.
But really he's in jail for a reason and his crimes are something I cant forgive.
( my mom thinks she knows everything about me but really she’s clueless)

I don’t really want to see him but then again I do.
I wanna yell and scream and tell him what an ass hole he is!

Do you guys think I should go see him?
Because I just don’t know what to do .

I love my father to pieces....but he has some personal issues that I've come to learn I can't change in him. My father and I have the same sense of humor, we're both very stubborn, he has a real soft spot (REAL BIG soft spot) for his youngest daughter (that'd be me), and he'd do anything for me if he possibly could. He swells up with pride when he sees me on stage or when I give public address or graduate even.

Life wasn't always so lovely with my father, though. He is a recovered alcoholic (for as long as I've been alive) but he still had some serious anger management issues. He was highly verbally, mentally and emotionally abusive toward me when he would get in his moods. He had a lot of pent up anger and used to just absolutely ravage me. I started to believe all the horrible things he was saying to me as a teenager in a very sensitive time of my life and began to cut myself. I would punish myself for being exactly what my father said I was (even though I truly wasn't). Once I turned 18 and couldn't stand his shit anymore I came out of my room in tears (where I had been hiding) as he was throwing a chair and screaming, and I took off my bracelets and said "do you want to see what you're doing to me??!" He didn't speak to me for 2 weeks. My mother asked "do you need help?" (She's always been my rock.) Blah blah blah.....long story short, I showed him how he was killing me inside and how much he was hurting me....and he stopped. He grew up a little that day and he has been about 98% better ever since. I got better, he got better, and we're all a lot happier now. He tells me a lot more how much he loves me and how proud he is of me. Things be good :)

Now if I could only change the fact that he's a bigot. *Sigh* Rome wasn't built in a day, as they say.

My father cheated on my mother before I was born. She found out about it when he was told she was pregnant with me, and she still stayed with him for 15 more years. My father is incredibly emotionally abusive, and he is the one person in the entire world that I could actually say I hate. In the half of a year my mom has been with my step dad, he has been more of a dad to me than my father ever was, and we have all been more of a family. Sadly, I still live with my father, and he will not let me leave. He threatens to hit me, and has shoved my brother on several occasions in the past month. He treats me like a child, and says that I am immature when I act more like an adult on any given day than he does. I am not allowed to have my learner's permit or a job, even though I am almost 16 and need money badly..
I have to go back to his house today, and it is really depressing me.

Know what I think, BLEED REBELION!!!!11!1! ?

Shut the fuck up, that's what I think.

The only things I see you here for is to bitch about how fucking much your life sucks, when you're obviously not really making an effort to enjoy it.



When was the last time you went in to having a conversation with your father with an open mind, rather than thinking "OMG I H8 THIS GUY LOLOL"?


Don't give us that "MY PARENTS DONT UNDERSTAND ME D:<" bullshit, either.
They most likely perfectly understand, but are wise far beyond YOUR years, and no better, so they ignore "Your needs", and do what's actually better for you in the long run.


And he is your father, even you won't admit it. Don't say "My "father"". It makes you sound like some spoiled brat, let alone putting 3 words in the sentence in quotes. It makes you sound like a spoiled brat AND a dimwit.





What are his crimes, anyways?
Even if it's murder, you should still forgive it unless it was in cold blood.


That's what I think.



You're a narcissistic, self concerned wretch, too. You should seek counseling. Or at least learn how to have a decent human-to-human relationship.

That's what I think.

Don't you think you're overdoing it a little, maggot?

A litte?
Mag, please, that was insenitive. I'm not arguing but we endure our pain from no point of view-if he's in jail and is really as bad as she claims him to be, then we should simply take her word for it. I respect you by all means but to a certain extinct can I bear those words. My father was abusive, I couldn't tell anyone of it-he's was a Veteran, and no one would believe him to commit the torture he did to ALL of his children.

I'm just fed up with her. That was the climax of it.


She's never -to my notice- given to this community. She's only come here to gripe about how her life sucks.

It's like come on. Shut up.

I've had a touch and go relationship with my Dad.

My favorite memory of my father occurred when I was 10. My Dad was on a softball team which was organized by his company. After every game we would go to this local pizza parlor where they would watch the game they just played. During this time my Dad would always drink 2 or 3 pitchers of beer. One time he was so drunk that when I asked my Dad for $5 so I could play Paperboy, he accidentally gave me a $100 bill. Being a kid I didn’t say a word and just pocketed the money. The next day I went to Toys R Us to but Final Fantasy for the NES. I was very happy.

Other than we don’t really have a close relationship. We don’t hate each other but we don’t spend that much time together. I’ve caught my Dad so many times doing things that I’ve lost respect for him.

Case in point. One day I was getting a glass of water in the kitchen. I looked outside and I saw my Dad and his black friend entering the shed. My Dad’s black friend entered first than my Dad proceeded to stand in the doorway of the shed. What I preceded to see still shocks me. My Dad was grabbing the top of the shed while his pelvis gyrated back and forth. This happened for about 15 minutes then they stopped and smoked joint. WOW! This just blew my Mind.

Then recently My Mom Told me when I was a young child that My Dad after his softball games would hang around this blonde that was his secretary. They would go to the bar and made out heavily. One night my Mom asked my Aunt to baby-sit us while she went to the bar and confronted them. From that night forward my Dad and secretary were never seen together outside of work ever again.

I have a lot of friends with issues with their dads. Mainly because they drink too much, or they treat their mothers badly. We have a couple of friends who don’t even know their dads. And someone very close to me was molested by his father. When I found out I wanted to take a brick to his dad’s head and instead opted for the windshield of his car. I have no respect for parents that hurt their kids. Its true there’s no handbook on raising kids. But they could at least take the effort!

I love my dad. He gave me my love for non mainstream music. He got me interested in cars, tattoos and stick airplanes. And helped me along when I got into computers. He taught me to skate and that I’m equal to any man, and that no one can put me down, just for being a woman. We get on well. He makes me laugh, a lot. I've always been on good terms with my dad. And he's helped me through some tough times with my mom. I used to be really angry at him for not helping me, when he knew what was going on. But I know that he couldn’t. If I’m ever stressed or there's something on my mind he starts the conversations off. It hurt me to see how my cutting affected him. And it was part of the reason I had to stop.
I’m moving out soon and I don’t wana disappoint my dad. So I can’t tell him. THAT bothers me.

My Dad was devastated when I moved out. I left without telling him because I knew he'd tried to forbid me. He was pissed. But years passed, they came down to visit us on vacation, and while they were here we all bought a house together. I adore my Dad. He and I are just alike.

Persephone, he'll get over it.

My daughter moved out last year on My 7th (I'll never forget the date) and I was proud she became her own person, and started her own life. Her and her boyfriend of two years moved in together, and they have made a successful family.

The first two weeks were tough (I imagined I heard her voice, or saw her face in a crowd), but then as I talked her every day or so on the phone, and knew she was alright, I began to relax, and then even begin wondering "isn't it about time her brother moved out?". :D

It is a part of life, you are ready to leave the nest, go for it! Your father will realize that this is the time he has been preparing you for all your life, to be independent! He will be proud, I am certain. Yeah, maybe the first few seconds may be a little...emotional...but he'll get over it, it is just the cutting of the apron strings.

Go for it!!! :)

It's better for me if I keep my distance from my father...it's not that he doesn't love me as a daughter, but he's depreciative and verbally abusive to both me and my mother. It's not a Dr. Phil sorta thing that can be worked out because I confronted him about it several times, and he just scoffed. He's never gonna change, and I cannot respect someone who doesn't respect me or a woman he was married to for 28 years and bore him a child. I'm sorry, but it doesn't fly that way.

Thanks Humane...Its all going to be fine. I just keep telling myself that...Ferret keeps telling me not to get cold feet but since we moved the date, I started wigging out more...I feel bad cos my dad and I were sitting drinking coffee and talking about how work is going and I wanted to come out and say it but I couldnt...:(


I dont want to have babies at 20!!

ive met my real father once. me and my stepdad dont get along. hes abusive a drunk and a burn out. thank god i dont have to deal with him any more.

My dad was a great father, but he died when I was 14 due to a hospital error. I have a stepfather now whom I love, and is an awesome guy...but you're right, most of the people I know are in the same boat as the friends you know as far as not knowing their fathers, or their fathers being abusive. :(

Believe it or not, my parents got married at 18, had three kids, he served in the marines, and she was a stay at home mother. When he got out he started to work and helped in the rearing of his kids.
That was 22 years ago. They celebrate they're 23rd anniversay this July. I'm the yougest and we are all still together. My parents have never gotten divorced, never seperated, and they have always been faithful.
Its amazing. I hear about how all my classmates have astranged parents. What could make parents fall out of love like that?

I dont mean the make this post to seem like i am rubbing it in anyones noses or anything, i was just giving some background on it. My dad is an engineer/drafter/IT person for a company that makes motors for RamseyWinch. you know the winches on the back (or front) of all-wheel vehicles.

Some people make the right choices with who they marry. Many people settle...and are too immature to deal with a person.

My dad is...interesting. He's pretty off balanced and horrible sometimes, but he can be really awesome too.
Like, once he screamed at me for walking up the steps to ask him for lunch money, but last night he gave my boyfriend an old James Dean movie poster and showed him his comic collection.

Maggot Im sorry if I come off like I think my life sucks.
Its not all that bad anymore im just bitter.
I dont hate my life over the last 2 years its gotten worlds better and I enjoy it sometimes. I have more than one life I have a life with my friends and school and then I have a family life. Me and my mom fight sometimes but I love her she loves me. I think my mom does what she thinks is best for me . And she works very very hard. My mom doesnt understand allot of things about me because I hide them from her........
She does the best she can and she's made my life pretty good. I always eat when Im hungry and have clothes when I need them. My mom is actualy REALLY GREAT. And im thankful for that.
I dont mean to bitch alot but this is the only place I can I dont really have people to talk about this kinda stuff ...so if I pissed you off sorry ..

As for my father he's in jail because he ***** and murdered a girl and then he hid in mexico for a while. I've never had a real convo with him because he's been in jail for as long as I remeber. And no I cant forgive him for rapeing that girl because I thinkits the worse thing you can do to a person. I was molested and I hate any and everyone that could hurt another person in that way.

you say i've never done anything for G.net but what exactly can I do?

My dad was there for me those awful years my mom went off her meds. He was the rational parent, and he stopped her from doing a lot of the things she felt "compelled" to do. He worked a lot, so he couldn't prevent everything, but if he hadn't been there I can't imagine how fucked up I would be.

I'm sorry that your dad sucks. If you want, we can do a swap-thinger, and have my dad and your mom and be sisters. (this doesn't mean I like you, just that I sympathize and I wish we both could have better situations.)

You could try and contribute. I feel like a lot of the things you do here are requests. Requests for help, validation, or just for someone to listen. When other people need help, though, I see very few contributions from you. You don't welcome new people, you don't critique literature, you don't debate politics, you don't give advice. You just take our advice, and then post a new problem. This obviously isn't always the case, I do think you have contributed once or twice, but it's not consistent enough to merit the word "trend".

When ever I sAY something about politics I get flamed to bits and no one takes what I say seriously.

I'll try to comment on more things from now on.