Difficult Situations Arising Out Of Being Goth
 

Evenin' all.

I am going to presume this topic/question/questiontopic has been discussed several times before.
But I scootched back 3 pages and couldn't see anything similar to what I am about to write.

So here it goes!

A part of being 'goth' seems to involve alot of woe from your average Joe on the street.
They shout and scream abuse, throw rock/bottles/bottlerocks, give funny looks and whisper snide comments.

I remeber when I used to have painted nails (back in my 'posuergoth' years) my great big fat f*ck of a deputy manager had a big rant at me, calling me gay and lots of other nasty things that made me raher upset at the time.

True, I had no problem with his insults, if anything it exposed his black heart and general idiocy, which is a good thing. I suppose.
But to be fair, he did go into that job when he was 16 and is now in the latter half of middle age and is bald and fat. And he has only risen to deputy manager.

Anyway, we all love a good sob story, so I wondering if anyone felt like sharing how their 'goth factor' had gotten them trouble from the uneducated masses?
At work, on the street... Etc etc.

Hatred in school is taken as a given, children are evil, after all.

Yep, our self-expressing fashion tends to be our biggest problem.

In my baby bat days, when I had just shelled out 80$ on a pair of Tripp bondage pants, my dad would absolutely flip if he caught me in them. I had to wait until he was asleep to put them on and head out.
One time, I was going to the movies with my cousin and I was going to wear my trench coat, but my dad wouldn't have it. I snuck out with it and when I got back, he was standing there to bitch at me for wearing it. I came so close to just running away right then. Ahh, teen angst.

Lately of course, I've been getting all kinds of rude comments, glares, and snickers behind my back. No one seems to have the balls to laugh in my face. I must be doing something right. Hahaha!

Aaah, I had the trouser problem too. But mine had chains, so they were... Well... Loud when I was on the go. So I had the novel experience of trying to walk quietly.

'Rents like to make SS jokes about my trenchcoat and jackboots, it's nothing bad though and I know they mean it in good humour. It's just a bit bothersome a times...

I don't suppose you get cross eyed people asking you "are you a goff?" any longer do you?

Really? I usually get comments aaaaaaall the time about my clothes. From teachers, students, random people on the streets, friends of my parents...etc [of course, not from my OWN parents... oh... and hardcore christians XD;] Everyone is so interested in my style, and are very drawn to it. Even the ignorant people who are like "Are you goth? You're wearing black!" Still aren't MEAN about it. x]
I mean I do get rude looks sometimes, but the good outways the bad and the amount of compliments and interest I get is ... a lot xD

Same here; I get more compliments on my wardrobe and questions about how I do my hair than I receive insults. There's about two people that seem to have a problem with the way I look, and they express their opinions quite often. They're just random kids at school, however, so I shrug it off.

Aside from that, I get an occasion drive-by shout out, which I can never discern anyway.

Same here. Excluding my parents, I think there has only been one time when someone reacted in a negative way for my looks. Listen carefully because it's hilarious:

I was all in black and it was one of the few days I accepted to wear (good) make-up as in eyeliner and stuff. I was in a store with two friends, and a little kid was looking at me next to his mother. I smiled at him and the kid was beginning to walk towards me when suddenly his mother pulled him back and she stepped between us.
I lol'd.

oooo...kidie stories!
I also have one:
Your Humbla Narrator was walking down the street one Saturday evening. A little twirpy kiddie walked up to me and after staring at me for like 5 minutes ( I was kinda shocked and stared back) said
"are you a vampire?"
I was in a good mood so: "Nah, just a normal satanist..."
As I walked aways i saw the mom come running out of a store around the corner a grabbing her twirpy little child as if it was almost been run over by a truck.

Such things make me laugh.

Otherwise, I get nasty looks from preppy propper Austrian old ladies and apart from that only complements for my original and elegant style.
I once had a teacher inform me that i had terrible influence on the class, but i really don't know if that was becuase of the looks....

I think the worst stuff I get these days is from the Emo's, because you're not allowed to be different unless you're different in exactly the same way they are *rolls eyes* pardon me for not having a giant bleeding heart tattooed on my tits.

My Dad was always fine with how I dress, though it does concern him how other people will treat me. I think he's just glad neither of his daughters turned into skimpy-skirts-and-boob-tubes girls. My mother will make sly digs at every oppurtunity - she once invited me out to the pub, and when she came round to pick me up, I wasn't finished getting ready. While I finished doing my make-up, she sat there watching me going on and on about how I'll grow out of it sometime and stop making myself look "even worse than you do already". Nice woman, my mum.

The absolute worst I ever got was in school - I was pushed down two flights of stairs for the crime of wearing all black. The school uniform.

Well, I was walking in the mall yesterday and a mother was walking with her four kids, everything was normal until they were about to walk by me, when she saw me she made her kids hold hands until they passed me.

Ah, well I stand corrected, perhap it isn't all doom and gloom after all! This is all rather pleasant and jolly really.

Perhaps I should change the topic name to something more appropriate?

Anyway, yeah, I haven't really had people giving me evils about my clothes of late.
I used to get it quite a bit back in my posuergoth days of dire fashion blunders...
I think the only negitive comment I hear now is people saying about the matrix (it's the trenchcoat).
Oh, and Dracula, when I wear my -other- trenchcoat.

But, yes, this is all rather nice, reminds me of when I got talking to an old gent in a bookshop, he liked me gloves... Heh.

Anyway, loving the tales of terror so far, please keep them coming!

Are you sure it wasn't something against you, personally?

I've had people to the cross sign in front of them when I walked by, but that was in my earlier days when I wore makeup and more shiny things, and a big, black hat. They supposedly thought I was the devil or something. Oh, and just as Edward says, a "the matrix" comment or two when I wear one of my longer leathercoats.

Nowadays a friendly nod from someone you meet downtown with the same taste is more likely, or the funny little emo-girls who sometime stare so hard that they fail to avoid lampposts and walls and other things Man was not design to pass through, but around.

That's always fun. It's even more fun when you stare at them as if they have two heads and make the sign of the cross first.

Compliments far outweigh the negative reactions for me. I think the worst I ever got was someone shouting "GOTHS!" out of a car window once, but that was when I was walking with a group of friends who were looking far more stereotypically gothic than I was at the time. And as far as I know 'goths' isn't exactly an insult. It just wasn't said very nicely, that's all.

That's all they yelled? That's quite amusing.

That's when you look all surprised and exlaim: eep! Where?!

i get alot of rude comments, especialy since im in a boarding school, every one says that im a suicidal freak emo, and gives me dirty looks, but i try to ignore it, though, it does get a little annoying , but i guess the true test of someones enthusiasm to what they beleave in is tested by others giving them a hard time, and i have never denied being a goth to anyone, no matter how imposing they are ^-^

My dad hates my long velvet skirts - not sure why. He keeps asking me where I park my broomstick. His twin brother tries to order me a vat of blood every time we go out for a family meal. And one of my aunts - who has something against trenchcoats - always answers the door with an exclamation of 'Oh my God, I thought it was the Grim Reaper!'
Ha bloody ha.

Well, that's when you have to come up with your own snide comments. You father asks where you park you broom? Next to his ouijia board, of course. Your brother orders you a vat of blood? Well, better than the human heart that you order for him! You aunt wants to know where the Grim Reaper is? Tell her that you'll be at her house soon. (Those are suggestions, of course.)

Thanks.
I think the best one was probably from my grandad. Admittedly he caught me on an off day - baggy Grim Reaper hoodie, black jeans and my giant black furry slippers with PVC claws.
He said, 'you'll never get ra.pe.d looking like that.'
What the hell do I say to that? 'Uh... thank God?!'

I would've said, "Good, I don't like you anyway."

YDS - actually, I find that rather amusing... (self edit - seems there's been a few posts in between - I was talking about your aunt's comment)

I've had people shun me in my babybat phase. I believe this might be mostly due to the shock of seeing the then hippie/ bohemian- like me suddenly start wearing all black for two years straight.

I once walked into a second- hand store (I guess this might've been around this February or something) and it seems that I scared the living hell out of one of the guys working there. As I walked out I heard some other staff saying to him "she's going now, you can come out, it's okay". I haven't entered the shop since - I don't dare, in case I scare them again...

Apart from that, sure, I've gotten a few stares and people's eyes almost popping out when I pass; also exclamations like "Oh my god", "Holy hell" and questions whether I'm in the metal scene and similar are so frequent that I almost am surprised when I don't get any reactions at all. Still, it's the positive feedback that's the most frequent - elderly ladies seem to like my outfits when I dress up in ladylike historical styles, tourists take pictures with me and I usually get compliments on my clothes and make-up from ordinary people when I pass by or sit in the park watching the fountain. And the kids love me, especially when I wear sparkly things like spiked chockers and so on. Heh. I've only once heard people shouting "goth" or "emo" after me. I think most people here still don't know what that is, and rather confuse goth with the metal scene.

She calls me 'her little Black Death'.
I worry about my family's sanity.

Maybe you should start treating them like the load of freaks. If they actually ask you why, you can simply (and honestly) point out the fact that they are the ones always talking about morbid crap. Like parking brooms, and Grim Reapers, and shit like that.

It's kinda funny though. My mum goes all fierce and starts sticking up for me. But yeah, good plan. I likey.

I get crap for my leather jacket alot. I was wearing it once around Christmas time and badteccy and I were kindly donating to the bell ringing man outside of the mall near us. The guy was talking to us about how he used to listen to Bauhaus in the 80's when this middle aged jerk walks up from behind us. Now as some of you may know I have "Sex Gang Children" painted on the back of my jacket. This guy rudely interupts our conversation by looking at my back and saying "Sex Gang Children!?" He then walked around and looked me in the face and says "What do you like... have gang sex with little kids or something?" I said "No. It's the name of a band I happen to like." And he started walking away mumbling something about how I'm a pedophile.

I lollered.

Well, I get all the usual stuff- shouting, throwing things, etc. Certain people at school convinced themselves somehow that a few of my friends and myself are in the "Gothic Mafia". I've also had many people tell me they can "get me out of my cult", and quite a few have asked friends of mine if I really think I'm the Anti-Christ. Things like that tend to send me into fits of hysterical laughter. (Sometimes, I honestly don't know where they get this stuff.)
The funniest thing I can think of right now was this one time I went to the nurse. I was horribly nauseous and as I was shaking, leaning over, waiting to be sick, the nurse was standing beside me asking all kinds of questions about the "gothic culture". She also wanted to know why I wore so many safety pins, and if they were a safety hazard. Needless to say, I don't remember most of her questions. Normally stuff like that doesn't bother me, because she wasn't rude, she just had horrible timing.

I've had rocks and other things thrown at me, been spit on...the usual. I've also been stopped and harrassed by the police twice whilst in "upscale" parts of town.

Once was when I was in a car driving through a neighborhood (in Tennessee) we were pulled over. The cops actually physically drug me and my husband out of the car with guns to our heads. They handcuffed us and searched our car (finding nothing incriminating). Before letting us go, they told us that we had fit the description of two people in the area who had committed an robbery and assault. Yea, I'm SO sure that there were two other people who looked like us in THAT area who had done that (my husband - lots of tattoos and a 12" mohawk, and me, with two full sleeves and a 12" red and black mohawk). Bullshit.

The other time we were driving through a parking lot after picking up a pizza and some alcohol (in Maryland). They searched our car and us. I asked what it was they were detaining us for, and they replied: "were you just in that liquor store, and were you just reading a paper which you threw into the trashcan on the way out?" I said "yes, what are you going to do, arrest me for not f'n recycling it?" Then, they said that we matched the description of two felons on the run who were wanted for murder. Again, I say bullshit. If two mohawked, tattood people who looked like us committed a murder, don't you think it would have been on the news or something? This seems to be the usual story cops give when they just want to harrass or search you because of the way you look. In this case, I think we may have freaked out the liquor store owner, and he called the police or something...but I don't know.

Also, a lot of men will come up to me and harrass me, saying they they know I'm into kinky stuff, and all that crap.

While in London, I was not allowed in to a strip club because they said I was too heavily tattood. They said I could come in if I changed into clothing that hid my tattoos.

I've had older women (multiple women, when I was living in Tennessee) come up to me on the street and tell me that I was "going to hell", and that they "felt sorry for my parents", etc.

Mothers are afraid to let their children around us? Are we like some new vampiric street gang? Then again, we all do wear "colors", congregate in groups, and occasionally cause disarray. Goth fo life, foo!

But hey, even the Hot Topic kids are giving me weird looks, so I MUST be doing something right! XD

I've had the usual projectiles hurled by chavs. They are tremendously unimaginitive with insults. All I ever seem to hear is " FATTY!! " and "GOTH!! " also, and this is the real clincher..." FAT GOTH!! "

Oh how VERY fucking observant, glad your eyes are in full working order.

I also get the typical old people on the bus scenario. Old ladies just staring as though I'm about to start spouting ectoplasm and growing horns ( no grandma, that's a ZIT ) .

One of the funniest things I have ever witnessed was on holiday in a small town in Wales. Not only was it overrun with chavs, but when my parents and I went to the pub one evening, we passed a table with two men sitting at it. From the moment I walked into that room ( I made sure we sat next to their table to up the ante) to the moment we left they did NOT knock off staring and whispering. I think they were Polish or from somewhere similar, they weren't English anyway. So, as I'm sitting there talking to my parents, I am at the same time, earwigging on their incomprehensible ( to me ) whispering when I suddenly heard loud and clear " VAMPIR "

I nearly choked on my Jack Daniels from laughing.

My dad gets all worried about how people will react to me being dressed as me. I have had boyfriends who threatened to dump me if I wasn't 'normal' looking, I have lost friends because they didn't like the kind of attention they got being around me, and my mother hates the look. I do get some compliments saying I look cool or someone likes my shirt or something like that. But I don't really care as long as I can dress the way I want and be who I am.

I can't wait until I am pregnant, wearing gothic maternity clothing, and going into a baby store filled with fluffy pink and blue stuff. I wonder if people will think I'm having Rosemary's baby? :bwahaha:

Well, first off, bad experiences: Once, some random Chav spat right in my face in the middle of the street as he walked past. I was with a friend at the time and after the chavs had gone we had a good chuckle about how stupid and retarded they were, but it still annoyed me (I mucked up my coat wiping it off, curse my lack of tissues).

Now, for the humour:
Once, I had a small child walk straight into me. Literally straight into the back of my legs. Its mother quickly dragged him away, she didn't look too bothered tbh, just a tad embarrassed.

Anotehr time, me and two non-goth friends (although one looks a tad like me......we've been called brothers before.....and all 3 of us had long hair) were walking down the street, and a guy in his 20s was walking towards us with his girlfriend. As they passed us he put his arm around her shoulder and pulleed her right up close to him and gave us a funny look. We lol'ed at that for a long time.

I also get quite a few "haha, its neo!" remarks and lots of small children starting at me.

Ok I have another child related one. I was standing outside of an H&M waiting for some friends. A friend at the time walked up to me and jokingly said "Hey, there. Being shady in all your black, huh? Why are you just standing outside of this store watching the little girls like a pedophile?" What makes this funny is that at the time she said this, three mothers and thier little girls were walking out of the store. They looked at me, grabbed thier kids and hurried off.

I, again, lollered.

I've had many people laugh at me. They used to do it to my face, until I grabbed on of them and slammed them into the female bathroom. It was full of gossping girls, and he was male. I really hate being insulted.:)

Hm, I've had a preist man refuse to allow me into the church with one of my friends. I've had people throw eggs at me. I've had someone threaten my cat (whom I love very much. This also recieved a violoent response), I've had someone actually pick UP my cat and say they were going to kill him (my kitty scratched the idiot's hand and ran), I've had someone take my sketch book from my locker and rip it to shreds, and I've had someone fill my locker with goo...

This comes from either living in a small, Christian town, or a mid-sized town full of gang activity. Joy. People really are idiots...I've also been called at Fat Goth, and a Fat Satan. (This REALLY helps my self-esteem, which is low, considering I am recovering from an eating disorder) (It's not even true. Well, MOSTLY not true. My BMI is 24.1)

So...meh. Assholes. I've seen some boys get beaten over the head by an old woman with a purse. They were making fun of me, and I had just helped her to her car. x]

How about this for a difficult situation?
The same day of the kid incident, we went to an ice cream place in the mall (I'm not a mallgoth, mah friends are - or more like... mall-suicide-girl-wannabes XD) and the girl in the cash register liked me.
She couldn't stop seeing me, but when I looked back she looked down all blushed and smiling.
We flirted for the smallest time because one of my friends already got her milkshake and wanted to go, so that was it for now.
Hours later we were sitting against a wall, and I see the same girl walking and looking at me. And she winked at me ^^
I wanted to go ask her number, but at that time I liked my friend (the milkshake one) and I would have lost points of having an opportunity with her if she saw me going after another pretty girl.
That definitely was a difficult situation.


Oh, and if you want to know, I didn't ask her number, I should have, and I still go to the ice cream place with hopes of seeing her again.

Edit: This fits into this thread because she complimented my big, industrial boots; so she liked me because of my style.

Swish!

Eh, it's possible. He's a mean old fellow is Andy, but to be fair I don't take a great deal of pride in my job. And I suppose it was all a bit sudden my transformation into wannabegoth.
But still, I don't like him either! ><


chelseagirl, I go down on my knees and apologise for the failings of the police service.
I'm about to start studying Policing at university, so I shall endeavour to restore faith in the 'thin blue line'. It really bothers me when the cozzers do something like this, I'm something of a dreamer and a police geek (big fan of Judge Dredd :p) and it's always very bothersome when someone reminds me that not all police officers are fearless enforcers of the law.

Loving the tales so far!

Edward Strange: haha, no worries! I'm actually very good friends with three D.C. police officers, and my brother-in-law is also a police officer, so I know all cops aren't like that. :)

That counts as a plus, though. I get liked by those huge pant-wearing mallgoth chicks who like my deathhawk and belts which is a problem. Hahaha. There was this one girl in school who would stand near me or walk by me and turn her crappy emo or metal music up, I assume in hopes that I'll say something related to it and I guess my disgusted scoffs or band names she doesnt know all over my jackets havn't thrown her off.

Plus my girlfriend is more kickin rad than any of those chumps. :D

I've been accused of being a drug dealer, I've been accused of being a druggie, been called freak many many times, been ignored, had church goers always asking me to go to church with them, (which really isn't that bad), had cups of ice and various things thrown at me, had people yell obsceneties at me from their moving vehicles.

I've been attacked and someone tried to murder me, but that wasn't from being a goth I don't think. Well, it could have been. I still don't know the motives of it. But I was attacked and someone tried to murder me when I was in full blown goth attire.

Kontan wins.

Err....hmmm....I live in the DC/Baltimore area. Lots of diversity. No one really cares about me. Mainly, I'm 'the-chick-with-the-hair'. (My hair is constantly dyed in blues, pinks, reds, and purples)

Well, my friend is a very scary girl. She never says anything and she's very tall and thin with baggy black clothes. She's very pale as well.

Before we graduated, someone was going through their yearbook, and pointed to her picture: "Hey, it's that freaky chick. God, she's so fucking weird. People like her shouldn't be allowed in school."

Me: "Beg pardon?"

(They turn around and get the 'oh dear lord' look)

Me: "Would you care to repeat that statement?"

(One shakes head, the other says "huh?")

Me: "I didn't think so. Now vacate!"

(One pulls the other and they dash off)

I was really mad, actually, but seeing them run gave me a giggle.

<_< Ja, I think that takes the cake.

=/ Who would want to kill Kontan?

Good goth, I am sad to say but this is one of the saddest things about discrimination. :(. And I don't think I'll be able to leave here.

Goth Forever

I've never had anything quite as harsh as Kotan, but little kids have run from me in fear, claiming that my jewelry is "scary". Just for fun, I'm going to my job later tonight in full Goth attire:).

I haven’t had too much harassment about how I dress. When I am dressed in black, I do get the occasional question about, “Who died?” I’ve also been asked why can’t I dress a little more appropriately for my age. I try not to let any anyone I do not know well get too close, as my behavior and sense of humor are considered a little odd. So keeping everyone at a distance earns me the title of, Snobby Bitch.

I have had rocks, bottles of milk, orange's, pretty much anything they can find. I had someone tell me to stay away from there children because i was a bad influence.

And about a month ago i was walking down the street and i have been spat at, shoved, Someone trashed my art book which was a very expensive book.

This idiot told me i have no respect for the school system, my response to that was "why should i" yeah immature but anyway.
And i wasn't given a job at this horrible place because i didn't have the right look. the boss is a phsyco, so it was most likely a good thing. I'm trying to get a job at this awesome gypsy restaurant. I refuse to go shopping by myself, 2+ people a minimum helps keeps the violent idiots away.

And then there are the scary people that like me a little to much, with the hitting on, telling me where they live, offering to buy me dinner, asking to look at my wrists, not leaving me alone etc. Most of the time i get complements about my style. Either that or there to scared to say anything, because i have some pretty scary looking friends.

"asking to look at my wrists"

Urgh. I hate it when people do things like that. There's a bunch of chaps who sit with us in the common room at college, having a good chuckle about self-harm and being goth.
You can't reason with such people. I'm rather strongly opinioned about self-harming so I get very bothered when people say stupid things about it.

Like on the Society of the Strange (Emily the Strange offical forum) there was one lady who said she was very fond of goth "apart from the cutting."

Oooo.

Such things make me want skull-fuck the offending person to death.

*Cough*

Anyway.

"I still don't know the motives of it. But I was attacked and someone tried to murder me when I was in full blown goth attire."

@_@

Jesus!
I hope this person is safely behind bars!



Current gripe: Painting my fingernails black does not make me gay. This is something alot of people fail to grasp. Ozzy does it and he's a man's man if ever there was one. ;)

Still loving the tales of terror thus far.

*spits out his coke at the monitor while laughing* Oh, that's good. Skull-fuck. I have to remember that one!

I used to be bothered a lot about self-harm. It took me a few months to get it into people's heads that me being gothic has nothing to do with cutting, but at first... Oi. My friends, four of them, would hold me down and pull up my sleeves to make sure I wasn't hiding anything -_-

Didn't take 'em long to stop though. Must not like me when I'm angry...

No this lady has a fetish for Goth's and pain she is a scary lady, painting your finger nails makes you pretty and unique