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I'm too ugly to dress goth
I like lots of styles of clothes, especially the wiccan/peasent/folk look, I recently bought a chainmail hoodie top with a cross on it and I'm beginning to like more gothic wear. Usually I just wear a black hoody,a baggy black band tee and baggy trousers. I'm so self conscious about my body and face that I find it hard to express myself cos I don't want to be noticed. I envy all the people who are unique and can express themselves as an individual without an hassle, and pull it off. I think I have a goth personality (I am constantly depressed, thinking about life all the time, morbid etc... not obsessed with pictures of goth girls in blood baths or razors in mouths however). I currently have dark purple hair (Schwarszkopf (or however u spell it) Live Cyber purple) but it's done nothing to me, it hasn't made me feel any better or feel like I'm being true to my personality. I'm afraid to start wearing platform boots like new rocks cos my ex best friend used to wear them (she wore a mixture of emo and goth clothing and said she was both) and she and others might think I'm copying them.
I love long hair, my hair is just touching my ass (but i am pretty small) so I dont wanna cut it, plus it hides my ugly face at times and makes me feel a lil better about myself. Cos I can't cut it I can't have any style, I'd like dreads one day but I'm not fussed on shaving my head when I'm bored of them. I wish I had a pretty face that suited any hairstyle. Maybe having god fasion sense is based on self confidence... I'm an introvert so maybe I should just leave it. PS - if any of you have seen Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind, I really envy Kate Winslet's character cos she has bright coloured hair that's always changing and she's beautiful so she looks good no matter what colour. ok rant over ^_^ |
This should go in the Whining Board but yeah...
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I don't think you necessarily need to worry. One of the great elements, I think, about Goth fashion is that there is no distinctively recognizeable dress code. It's all about how you feel and what you feel would be true to your personality. :)
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If you like something, go for it! :)
It took me a long time to be comfortable enough with my body and myself to wear the style I enjoy. [I'm a bit of an introvert myself.] Until then, I wore a lot of baggy clothing myself! One thing you could do is go shopping either with a good friend or alone. You don't have to buy anything, but just try on different things and see how you like them. [For the hair color thing, you could perhaps try on different wigs? Or maybe temporary dye like what they have for Halloween? That way, if you don't like it, it'll come out really easily, and if you -do- like it, you can make it more permanent after that.] Just some advice from someone who completely understands! :D |
I don't think anyone's too ugly to dress goth.
You may have failed to notice, but there are some really ugly people who dress goth. |
Just to clarify, depression is not part of a goth personality. You should get some help, it's a horrid thing to go through. As for the clothes, I don't think baggy pants look good on most people. Try some drainpipes maybe, or regular trousers.
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Not to worry, you're just going through many changes. It'll be a while till you adjust to your look depending on your personality. I , for one, wear black and have my goth look all the time, I just don't wear my dark purple lipstick and heavy eye makeup to work or to uni. Try setting different styles for different occasions and I'm sure you'll find your way from here.
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I know what you mean, I dress the way I want to but then I throw a baggy hoodie on because I'm so self concious. It sounds like you are using your hair as a security blanket, I suggest that you get it cut. A hairstylist will be able to help you find a hairstyle and color you like. I'm not saying you should chop ALL your hair off, just as much as you feel comfortable with.
If your worried about copying your friend, don't get the same pair of boots she has. Most likely she will like them, not get mad for you getting new rocks. |
I'm so depressed, I am a gothic rite?
Jesus.... |
I think you don't feel true to yourself because from what I've gathered, you want to 'look gothic,' rather look like yourself inside.
I remember I used to want to like a subcultural archetype, and I always just felt depressed about myself. Over time, I came to the realization of what was me and who I was. I am now happy with how I look and dress, and for the things I am not happy with, I am in the process of fixing that. My quality of life is up one-hundredfold. By the way, there's no such thing as a 'gothic personality,' so cut it out. There is no pride in being constantly depressed. It is a flaw. |
I agree with most replys to your topic.
You should just go with what ever you feel comfortable in though. It took me a while to find a style I liked. Every week or so I add a little bit more to my collection of outfits, Even if its a new T-shirt, or some new trousers. Or even a necklace. And about you worrying what your friend might say if you got a pair of New Rocks. So what!? If you want a pair you get a pair. She may say "why have you got them? why are you copying me? Oh so now you think you're cool because you have Newrocks?!" Just turn around and say "Yea, so what? I like them so i bought them". She will get over it. Or she will be well chuffed that her mate has a nice pair of boots on her feet. Dont hide your face, Hold your head up and stand up stright. I wouldent cut my hair if I was you (I also have quite long hair) and keep trying new colors (I also tried that Purple hair dye you use, man was it a messy aplication!) till you find a color that suites you. Don't be so depressed all the time too. Don't take things so seriously. (dont wanna sound corny but a quote from a film) "Life is just a dream on it's way to death" |
OH GOD.
This just crys "give-me-attention". I know I sound like a cxunt, but seriously, anyone who broadcasts their "depression and angst" over the internet deserves no sympathy. It's utterly tasteless. I'm a nice person BTW. |
There is NO such thing as a goth personality. I am incredibly perky by nature, as you may have noticed, as are many other people interested in the subculture. There are the melancholy sort, yes, but they are not necessarily more "goth" than someone who bounces around talking about how much they love bubbles, IMO. Being morbid, depressed, and thinking about life aren't "goth" traits... Depression is an illness and morbidity/death/life obsessions are certainly not "for goths only." I know an A&F addict that's thrilled by scanning the internet for grotesque crime scene photos. :D
I'm sure you're not as "ugly" as you think you are, hon. And you don't have to be perfect to wear any sort of clothes you want. Just look at this guy: http://www.spikedhumor.com/Article.aspx?id=43231 That should make you feel better. And screw your ex-best friend. As long as your boots aren't the exact same as hers, I'm sure no one will give a damn or even give 'em a second thought. |
Actually, you feeling bad about yourself and you not being happy with how you dress maybe sort of linked. I remember when I used to have very low self esteem, the fact that my style didn't feel like it fit me didn't help self confidence at all. Try it, don't worry what anyone says. If you are not copying that girl, it doesn't matter what anyone says. If you are, well we ALL are influenced by someone at some point. If you are worried change gradually.
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Like yourself first, then you'll truly look good no matter what you wear.
Don't "look up to/idolize" ANY celebrity and use them as an example of what you want to look like. It's their goddamned job to look good all the damn time. Be glad it's not your job. Trust me, they only look good into old age because they can afford it. Behind the stylists and makeup artists, they are just as normal, haggard looking and tired as the next person. Love yourself. Then you'll love how you look no matter what your style. Depression and blood is NO MARKER of being gothic. So many "goths" have a very ungothy personality. It's the music, art, lierature, and more that we appreciate that makes us "goth" more than anything else. |
First of all (because of the site and all) you have a misconception of what goth is.
Second of all, you have very low self-esteem. Deciding a style shouldn't be your top priority; it should be self-approval and self-improvement. |
Also, if you post more in depth regarding your intro thread, it'll really help the lot of us figure out what you are and what you like.
But to be on the safe side, read this: http://razorwire.com/real-goth-faq/ and run (don't even think about walking) to the music forum. |
Q: Someone told me that it doesn't matter how you dress, as long as you're goth on the inside.
I'll bet that person looked like a potato. Did they have a big pasty potato face, with a huge potato ass and stumpy potato legs? You were probably talking to a net.goth, and they say stuff like that to make themselves feel better for being fatasses. I love that answer. |
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Wear what you want, and fuck anyone who says anything about it. Get you some New Rocs if you want. I wish I had the money to get some, they are pretty awesome! Your little ex-friend and her cronies have something to say about it, just tell them not to flatter themselves, you do as you wish.
Purple hair sounds beautiful, especially if it's down to your waist! Hair can always be your best fashion accessory. Play with it, add to it, color and get funky if you wish!! Remember, though, it is just an extention of yourself, hair won't change your life. You sound like you need some people to talk to. You need to find someone like that in your off-line world and talk with them about how you feel. Depression is not a good thing to have to carry around with you. I'd hate to be depressed all the time! It's not something you must be to be gothic. Oh, and that ex-friend of yours that says she's goth and emo? I'd laugh my ass of at that. I bet she and her friends walk around in ASDA trying to be all scary looking and being sad about it while screaming "Look at us!!! We are different!! Boo!!" How pathetic. |
You know, I'm really not sure what I make of that article... So much hate! And also having read it, it makes me want to throw in the black towel and say "Alright you win, I'm not a Goth." Before storming off in a strop and throwing out my CDs.
Anyway. Eternal Sunshine is arguably one of the best films of the decade. I remember a time when I was talking to a friend who said I reminded her of Joel alot, which was sort of swish. But I can sort of emphasis when it comes to envying Clementine. I wanted to be like her because she was so carefree and crazy and just seemed to be the sort of person I wanted to be... Not wishing to sound weird or anything but you remind me of a younger version of me. Well, maybe not younger, perhaps even a few years older (Futurama reference!), I've felt alot of what you are feeling at the moment... I hope that doesn't make me sound big headed at all. But yes, advice. If what you are doing with your clothes and hair at the moment doesn't seem right then don't do it! It's the reason I stopped wearing bondage trousers! Experiment, see what you like to wear, have your hair like etc and then bloody well do it! It says you are from Wales, maybe I could show you around all the grooveh alternative spots in Cardiff? You sound like a very swish character. Right. Time to go to lectures. |
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Lawl! I loved that FAQ site. Actuly I found that site before I found Gothic.Net O_o
Anyways back on topic...where did she go? |
Post and run, perhaps? Who knows where she may have gone. I get the feeling she’s on of those, “I’m so ugly, I wish I had a pretty face.” types who only thinks they’re ugly, when in fact, she probably looks just fine.
Hey you, the OP, stop comparing yourself to what’s considered beautiful to everyone else and love yourself as you are. Just like a few others have mentioned, it doesn’t matter how you dress. Hell, I still break out the flannel shirts and ripped jeans on occasion. Ok, so I seem to still be a little stuck in 1992, but hey, I’m comfortable. |
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I think Delecti said it best when he was telling someone about goth fashion. You can go out and buy a good goth outfit, but what if someone knows what you're wearing? The thing is, buying premade gothic clothing is cool and all, but technically, someone is going to be thinking, "That's a Lip Service top." or "Those are Tripp pants."
Find something that's minimal and then DIY that thing until it's yours. Getting an old London Fog black coat from a Thrift store is so much more classy and "goth" than buying a trench coat from Red Balls or Tripp. New Rocks are awesome, but the drawback to amazing looking boots or amazing looking clothing at all, is that you WILL run into someone who wears the same damn things at the same damned time and that's pretty embarrassing. |
If you think you're too ugly- then you are.
If you don't think you are. Then you're not. Simple as that. Whatever you think about yourself, whether you voice it or not, will project outwardly and that's how people will see and react to you. |
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That's stupid....ever heard of body dysmorphic disorder!? I can't believe you actually posted those first two sentences. To be honest, if you break out of your comfort zone and wear some form fitting clothes, have a nice haircut etc it can do LOADS for your confidence. Seriously....just DO IT! You'll start to see that things aren't as bad as you think. Maybe you could get some therapy or ask a doctor to be tested for BDD. You have low self esteem beyond reason and it needs to stop. |
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Don't tell me to shut it because I know what i'm talking about too.
There is no such thing as ugly or beautiful, you can't just say, if you think you're ugly....then you more than likely are. Life doesn't work like that. It's all in opinion. "Beauty is in the eye of the beholder"...."one man's trash is another man's treasure." It's one thing to not sugar-coat and another to say shit like that. |
I'm too goth to dress ugly...
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smile sunshine girl
well, i think u gotta look up at th brite side of life girly, just cos u dnt look like evry1 els that dusnt mean u look unnatractive:) and also , not all goths think depressive thoughts; just thought ide throw that 1 in. u need 2 b yourself, if u wanna wear goth stuff cos u no its really u, then go 4 it! b proud of who u r :)
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seriously what is goth is it the leather, the dark morbid clothes or would you cobnsider it to be the lifestyle that makes you feel morbid and complete. I can wear what i want and be who i want and i love to wear black yet i love to spice it up with greens and purples.
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I'm rather sad this person seems to have left, never to return, because they happen to live near where I do (well... Ish, Wales is hardly a huge country), and it would have been oh so very nice to have had a 'play mate'.
Oh, if there was only some conventionally placed email address to write too... God, I am -so- alone. |
hi, i havent run off i am here. by the way electrosexual, i'm not one for standin up for myself hence the nature of my post, but as this is virtual hey what can i lose so i just wanna say, u dont know me so if i wanna talk about how i feel then shouldnt that be ok? also, i'm not lookin for sympathy at all, i just wanted to finally let some of my feelings out, i cant tell anyone in 'the real world' so ive resorted to this and obviously oops thats wrong too, i cant bloody please anybody can i. but yeah isnt the point of online forums to talk to others, to possibly get advice etc well if it isnt then i might as well leave cos i obv dont belong here!
ps sorry for me associating goth with depression, i felt i could belong sumwhere thats all, im just f*cked up, lol |
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I'm into helping teens poison_chick6@ hot mail.com remove the spaces |
For a moment there I thought we lost you.
No need to go into defence mode. I think your post has got a lot of members here talking and basically giving each other advice and points of views in the long run. |
I think you're worth keeping around, Black Heart.
I was once like you. I really was. I used to be down on myself so much and though I don't think goth is what made myself feel better in life, I will say that the subculture HAS helped me a little bit in self love, actually. I wont lie, I'm 23 and I've only really known of the "G" word for about five years. Before that, I was just... well, I only really had my own thoughts to keep me company. I never really felt like I was a part of anything. Even now, I wouldn't consider myself a PART of a whole. I'm a "goth" and I participate in it, but I find now that it's not all that I am. There's parts about me just as sweet, just as mysterious, and just as beautiful. *extends hand* Give it time, Black Heart. We are all artists of our lives. Create. |
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I love you, Dax...
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I agree muchly with Kontan, because I felt very much the same way myself until very recently... And goodness knows -even now-. Goth has really helped me learn alot about myself and who I am and helped me get a little more comfortable with who I is.
And I would like you to stay very much because you happen to live near me. >< And in addition to Graveyard Crow's pillar of support, if you are ever feeling down and need someone to chat too please feel free to email me or MSN me at... [email protected] (Get the joke? Anne Gwish? Anguish? Ho ho). 'Twould be an honour and a pleasure to help. |
'We are all artists of our lives. Create.' :) Kontan, that quote rules.
You're right Dax, I am in a way looking for guidance, I always put myself down and I'm holding myself back from being who I really am. I will try and have more confidence so I can show the real me. Looking back, my post seems really childish and desperate, so sorry if I annoyed anyone. I'm glad all of the feedback said that it's not about how you look to conform but it's just looking however the hell you want so your personality can come through. I should just not give a damn. My old friend did the whole stereotypical goth thing and would associate depression and self harm etc with being goth; she really was a bad example for me. :) |
Personal perception is 8.5/10 that makes you think you're ugly. Hell, look at me I've been shot down oodles of times. (Seems most girls don't like studded jackets and mohawks) I know I'm not ugly, I don't care what other people think. Just be headstrong. Getting shot down gives me more time to practice guitar and write anti police songs for my band.
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I wish that there were guys at my school with mohawks and studded jackets...
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never give up. let your inner goth out!
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