Bumper Stickers
 

Okay, favorite bumper stickers. Seen a lot of those lately. My favorites so far: 1. "Don't worry, it's not my blood."
2. "If you don't like the way I drive, stay off the sidewalk."
3. "Remember, the only reason you're still alive is because homocide is illegal."
4. "If God had meant for women to do housework and dishes He would have made us with stainless steel hands."
5. "Insanity is hereditary, you get it from your children."
6. "I child-proofed my house, but they keep coming back."
7. "I can't be out of money, I still have checks left."
8. "My other car is a broomstick."
9. "Don't laugh. It's paid for."
10. "The best revenge is to live long enough to be a problem for your children."
11. And the one I have on my car, "Don't honk. I'm peddling as fast as I can."

Numbers 2 and 11 are awesome. My friend got me a custom made bumper sticker that says "Hava's Honda BITCHES" but I don't have the guts to put it on my car lol.

A coworker of mine has a bumper sticker that says "hang up the phone and drive asshole". So true, so true.

"If you can read this- you aren't the president"

That's awesome.

I'm driving like an idiot because I'm applying make up.

I'm only speeding because I really have to poop.

Don't talk trash about my bad driving skills, or I'll bust out my shotgun.

An edited version of the famous Smokey the Bear bumper sticker that says "Only you can prevent forest fires." Mine is edited to "Forest fires prevent poverty."

I saw a bumper sticker promoting something about homosexuality that said: "Talk to the AIDS, cause the face don't wanna hear it!"

I still have the "Honk if you're fucking Ben Affleck" sticker.

I couldn't help it.

"Caution: Queers on board"

I forgot two of my favorites: "Be nice to your children. They are the people who pick your nursing home."

And then there's the one I used to have on my car, but the police kept pulling me over and checking my car out -- "Ex-husband in trunk." (I finally put it on the window of my place, but then they started turning up there because the poor schmucks thought I had him in a trunk in the attic -- neither of which I had. I got to thinking, if I ever sell the car and buy a pick-up I would have to revise it anyway to read something more appropriate, like "Ex-husband in tackle box."' But then I thought, why risk it -- the police would have a field day with that one.

"If you can read this, I can break and sue your ass, have a nice day."

This one I like.

I'm also of the frame of mind that political stickers on vehicles should be banned. It fills me with so much rage that I almost seriously contemplate whether or not the jail time and fines would be worth running the other car off the road. This goes for all political bumper stickers as well, not just the ones that aren't my own view.

It's not really almost seriously. I actually barely contemplate it. I just wish I were on the set of Mad Max or Fast and the Furious for a split second.

I got one for my Dad that says "I like cats - They taste just like chicken!"

Your post really reminded me of this comic http://www.mitchclem.com/nothingnice/392/

are pretty cool.