Vampires Are Poseurs
 

Vampirism is for poseurs in junior high :D

OMG I can't believe you said that I'm of the appearance of a mortal 30 year old and live lurkily in the basement so I don't sparkle and implode and die in the sun fight me irl unbeliever


*froth*

:D

Okay. meet me on the playground in 20 minutes.

We will fight IN THE SUNLIGHT.

I must warn you though, I've been fistfighting gravity since the day I learned how to breath...

I must warn you, I AM PSY VAMPIRE. I am a timeless stygian void and will SUCK YOUR SOUL, in fact, my head is a complete vacuum, I suck harder than anyone has in centuries, do you really want to take that on!??!!


(╯°□°）╯︵ ┻━┻

I just died a little inside.

Of laughter? :D

Half laughter, half realization that what you typed is probably somewhere on the internet in a ridiculous tweenyboppers terrible fanfiction.