How do I express myself without getting kicked out?
 

Okay here's the thing. My parents hate the way I dress. They hate my piercings, and my tattoos. It is very typical of a parent, I know. However, they take it to a whole new extreme.

For example, I came home last week with both nostrils pierced. My parents basically said that I have to find a job and move out. Apparently my father has been wanting to dump me at the homeless shelter downtown for years.

Things got a little better after that, but when I announced to my mother that I was to dye my hair black again she said that I would have to find a job immediately and move out immediately.

Now, here is the real nail in the coffin. I don't do drugs, I have never come home in handcuffs, nor have I ever been in trouble with the law. When my family has gone out of town, i have never thrown a party and trashed the house. I have never stolen money from my parents, unless it was $3 to buy some soda and a bite to eat. I quite somking, I've only been drunk once in my lfe.

Further more I have never spent a dime of their money on my tattoos. It has all been my money. My most expensive recent mods were from money I earned at my full time job.

Now, I understand "Their house their rules", but come on, I can't even dye my hair? My parents think that I should think about what people on the street think of me, and I never know who is going to impact my life. they have told me I need to dress in a way that makes them happy. So, I have to ignore my happiness, and only do things that will make them happy.

What should I do?

I'm not a teenager, by the way, I am 22.

Try getting arrested multiple times. My dad loves me now, since it's been 10 months since I've been arrested. xD


If I were you, I'd keep what you've already got, and from now on express yourself with simpler things, such as ornate silver jewelry-- You could try back-combing your hairlike Siouxsie Sioux; you'd be surprised at how strong the image is to our generation, but how little it means to your parents. At least in my experience.

I will try that, and in the mean time look for a job. A big problem is that they never taught me how to drive even though I took driver's ed. Only recently has my mom said they stopped practicing with me because my driving was "too scary". I think they only took me out about four times. My mother also says I'm an adult now and it's not their resposibility to teach me how to drive.

They will give me a ride to work, provided that it is close. The mall is about two miles away. That's too far. I have to find a job that is under a mile of distance away from my house.

Have you tried murdering them in their sleep, and "stealing" the house yet? That sounds like the most sensible option.

Couldn't you take the bus?

Yeah, I just don't want to have to make a really long commute to work. Like if I were to work at the mall I'd have to get on the 45 for about 40 minutes, and then take it to the Metrolink station, and get on the 34. The 34 gets to the mall faily quickly however it takes an hour to get back to the station riding it.

I'm not even sure the 34 runs anymore though. There was a vote, raise taxes and keep all buses running outside of I-270, or not raise taxes, and just cut those buses. I leave it to guess which the people chose.

*to you to guess

Sorry, my computer keys stick

Why don't you just get your own place?

I recently quit my job. They really didn't treat people right there. For example, a woman I work will was suspended for three days for calling in to go to her nephew's funeral. Then in the back where I worked, which I might add, had no AC or heat, smelled like open sewage. My supervisor suspected that there was an open pipe behind the wall, but nothing was ever done about it.

Anyway, I'm looking into finding a job, finding some of my boyfriend's friend's as roomates, and moving in with him and his friends within the year. I just have to find a way to pull through until then and not get put in the homeless shelter.

And you have no other friends who will help you couch surf?

No. My best friend died last November. I don't really have any other real friends. Well, I have one, but his sister and I kind of had a falling out, and he lives with her.

I've been applying for jobs. I guess it was kind of stupid to quit my job. I just couldn't handle it anymore. I couldn't even have a day off to go to the doctor. I have a huge tumor where my leg meets my hip, so I was going to go see my doctor to get a paper to get a MRI. This doctor is a specialist, you see, i have a genetic disease that causes these tumors to grow. It is rare and only so many doctors for it. Well, if I didn't go to this appointment, I wouldn't be able to get in to see him until December. They told me they were not going to give me the day off. Now I can't even go because I got kicked of my dad's insurance because I turned 22. So I can't afford to see him even if there is an opening.

There are not alot of places with openings around here. Does any one have any tips for job shopping?

I'd say move out. Within the boundaries of reason; you tried your best to please them. If they are making you follow "house rules" and blackmail you into dressing the way they want you to dress at the age of 22, then I'd get the fuck out of there quick! Maybe after you're gone they might see the light of reason and understand how unreasonable they were acting. But I wouldn't hold your breath on that one.

Yup, my dad wanted to bring me to a homeless shelter for a long time.
Even took me there to see how it was. I'd never smoked, drank, or trashed the place. His bitch girlfriend hated me so she worked on my dad long enough and in a fiery argument one day over nothing, he kicked me out on the bricks.

She also says that how I dress is why I don't have any friends. That I should dress her way, and, in my words, have shallow friends who will drop me with the bat of an eye if I wear the wrong shirt, or some bullshit like that. I am a GOOD kid! I've never done anything bad, and she is so focused on superficial bullshit. She says that superficial stuff isn't important. She acts like it doesn't even matter that I don't get into trouble.

Her and my half-sister were in a fight. I had been e-mailing my sister. She kept asking me what we were talking about I wouldn't tell here. I made the mistake of leaving my facebook on my computer. She snooped and read my e-mails to my sister. Even the part where I said I hated her. When I saw her the next day she gave me shit about what a great mother she is. I also said she mentally abuses me. She says I'm lying, because she has never called me "ugly" or "stupid". but is it not mental abuse when whenever you go in the room your parents look at eachother and shake their heads or roll their eyes or make comments like "you look like you're going to a halloween party"?

Sorry, she says that superficial stuff is important, I need to get to bed soon, I'm making too many typos..

Get out of there. Seriously.

Does anyone have any tips on living on your own? The prospect is kinda scary. Paying bills, rent, and what not.

My god! See that is such a shame to have parents like that; shallow and petty and spiteful. My mother is like that and my dad too, but in his own special way.
I'd say move on Necromance. I remember how my dad and his bitch girlfriend would sign out and lock their computer if they were ever away from it, to have a shower or anything. I didn't want to use their computers, I didn't care, I had my own to use. It is dark moves like that that show how they thought. It always mystified me and pissed me off. They made it clear that I wasn’t welcome at all.

Whenever I try to talk to them they just yell at me, or ignore me, or tell me to talk later because they are reading something on the internet or watching the news. Sometimes I'll be talking long and in-depth with my mother, and she will be on her computer with the same dazed look on her face. I'll ask her if she's even listening to me, and she'll look at me and say, "What?".

Well, you've got a few options. The easiest of which is to keep dressing the way you do, but don't dye your hair black. I mean, is it really that important to have your hair a specific color? You can just ride it out at home, get a job and save up until you can get your own place on your own time, then when you move out do all the crazy body altering shit you'd like. Patience is a virtue... they're obviously not too insane about how you dress, so I mean hell, if not dying your hair black would help you stay at the house longer... Might as well put it off, ya know. I mean if you look at it logically it really wouldn't be too hard to keep yourself there longer. And like you said, you wouldn't be in a homeless shelter, etc...

It's simply a matter of weighing out your options... Dye your hair black and live in a shelter, or stick to what you've got now and have a place to stay and food and what not. Honestly to me it's a pretty easy decision... But I don't really care too much about what people think of the way I look, so I wouldn't mind looking nice, etc...

You obviously do care about what others think 'cause for some reason you wouldn't be caught dead wearing the stuff your mom would like. Ya know, it can go either way.

The ultimate solution is to yeah, just get a job and GTFO like the others said.

Body modification is VERY VERY expensive.

Maybe if you'd quit blowing your money on body mods right there and then, you could have enough money to move out on your own.

Protip: Your parents are right about what they say despite how shitty they're being about it. Sure, don't give a damn about what your folks think. I don't either. But your boss, your employer... yeah, they're going to take issue with your black hair and your derma-punches.

Why don't you just get different parents?

Too much paperwork

It's not so bad.

When you get a place to rent, there's usually a 25 to 30 dollar app fee and then if you're approved, there's a security deposit of a months rent. You need double the amount of rent for the first month basically.

After that, you need to call your utility company and have the utilities put into your name and address.

After that, it's pretty much just keeping up with that bill, rent, and whatever it is you need to live on.

You can look into craigslist for rooms for rent. Some people get a whole bunch of people together and rent out lavish houses where you're responsible for just your part of the rent and you pretty much live with a bunch of people.

What you'll need:

A decent credit score

A job/means of income

Good references

You'll probably have to sign a lease for a year, so when you get a place be sure it's a place you really want.

Ummm...I have no credit.....never had a card or anything... :[

Oh, and I just got an interview at Walgreens, it's a local drugstore.

Then be glad that your parents put up with your dark, gawffick ways, and continue to put a roof over your head, and food on your plate. In fact, go and say "Thank you" to them for persevering with you.