I have no friends...
 

I am so tired of being alone...I don't really have any friends...and I'm not exclusive and I would never be friends with someone because they're not goth enough or whatever, but I mean I would probably have more in common with someone who considers themselves goth or...something. I mean, I had "normal" friends. They treated me like shit. I don't know anybody even vaguely not normal. I imagine once I get to high school it'll be a lot better...but this is getting frustrating! If I was older I could go to some goth club or something but I'm still 14...I feel so isolated and I wish I could be around someone a little more...dark and interesting...I mean, I live in a relatively big city...what should I do?

(I'm sorry if this comes off extremely annoying or whatever...)

Eh, you're young. Which is not a bad thing, at all; so please don't feel like I'm talking down to you.

I remember being that age, and I had a very few friends (if you really could say that) my age. However, I did like to participate, and through that I met people that I could learn from, mostly people older than myself that served as mentors as I grew up. I was more of a nerd growing up, so I was in emergency services with amateur radio and the Civil Air Patrol, as well as astronomy and physics groups.

My advice is go out and do things. What are you interested in? Join art or music clubs. Look into Forensics (drama competitions, not NCIS =P) and theater. You find a lot of people with more varied interest in arts. As you branch out and participate in things, not only will you gain self-confidence, you'll meet people with either like interest, or just people you will enjoy hanging out with.

Growing up is tough, and though I'm echoing some advice I read recently, your teen years are not the best of your life. They are pretty rough, but you can make fond memories, regardless your age, that in the future you can look back on and smile (or, manically cackle to).


Anyways, I hope that helps some. It'll get better, don't worry. =)

Also a note on finding 'Goth' friends. Really, of the people I hang out with, none are really 'goths' per say. Most defiantly goth friendly, but few of the 'darker side'.

But heck, we'll be chilling out listening to the Sisters or Bauhaus one minute, and then turn around any sing along to 3OH!3 or Linkin Park (or insert any number of 'mainstream' artist). We respect each other for what we like, and how we dress. Whether, that's like the Devil's neo-Victorian attorney (me), or jeans and plain shirt and flip-flops, we just enjoy each other's company. I've gone out a club with hip-hop or country music playing (and though I was defiantly the odd one out, they stuck up for me) and I've taken them out to the local goth/alt club. You'll find friends of all walks of life, and you should embrace them when you do find them. Regardless of religion, color, politics or subculture interest.

There's people out there, and you'll find them. Like I said before, get involved and you'll find the group of people that will help you through the struggle of high school and then into the rest of your life.

My advice looking back at being your age....

1. Say yes to anything and everything as long as you're not putting yourself of others at a risk you're not willing to take.

2. Don't be afraid of making people mad. If an asshole hates you because you call him or her out on being an asshole... why did you need that person to like you anyway?

3. Be yourself. Don't be the image of yourself. If other people can't tell who you are, how can you expect them to like you?

4. Don't be scared to ask. Hear some people who might be fun talking about throwing a party in you class? try joining the conversation and ask if you can go. The worst you'll get is rejection. And don't be TOO picky about who you think is fun... as long as you won't get assaulted where you're going, some reletively mediocre people might have friends who are ten times cooler, and you can make friends with them, too.

5. Don't be afraid of doing things yourself. Be safe, but have an adventure of your own. Then you can tell someone about that crazy thing that happened to you that night you decided to go somewhere and blah blah blah... and then you've just given someone an idea of what you're like outside of school and so on.

Anyway... that's what I say about that. Good luck.

I had that problem when I was about 11. Mainly because I took everything too seriously. I was always taking people's advice and trying to form it into something that actually sounded attractive. Then, when I was about 12, I stopped caring and just did the things that I was interested in, besides school.

Preaching to the choir, young one.
I, like you, feel my life is empty. I have a few real friends, but they don't go out much. So the very best advice I can really give is don't let it get to you. I will quote a song, "Life can be lived, life can be loved alone."
And I sadly found that to be true. Just do what you want to do and see what happens =)

Ah well the problem sort of resolved itself! I got a boyfriend, he's you know, the new kid, and he is amazing. Probably not the best idea to completely depend on someone who could leave me in a second like that (although he says he's very into me :D) but eh what the hell, he's great.

My advice to you now is to read "Kill Your Boyfriend" by Grant Morrison. Just make sure you don't let him get away with shit just because he's the 'only one who understands you'. I'm not trying to assume anything about you, but that's what a lot of girls your age do.

Be more like me. By 14, the world was my oyster.

Oysters are disgusting.

i don't mind oysters but i hate mussels .

Maybe it's because you're a sad sack.

why hating mussels would make me a sad sack.
i just had a bad experience when i went to the restaurant and i had some that were not fresh which made me sick since then i can't eat them.
i used to like eating them.
if that make me a sad sack well fuck it.
here is to me the sado sacko.

You're so vain, I bet you think this thread is about you.

Getting back to the subject, Zuzu, congrats on the BF. As for friends, you might just be lucky. Mine get weirder with every passing year. (Some folks just don't age gracefully).

yes that's exactly what i thought .
how did you know?
wow you just read my mind.

I am fantastic.

yes indeed sir and i'm myself vain from head to toe.

He's back!!! Hell yeah!!!

DUCKIE!!! DUUUUCKIE!!!! Welcome back!!!!!! :D

Everything doesn't really depend on clubs or age. Maybe you would meet a few interesting friends but you might not.
You can meet a lot of people who only care about drama, getting trashed and partying. I've gone from being really popular with everyone to being pretty much banned at the club I used to work at because I fell out with my friend who ran it. People who are fun and nice to hang out with at clubs can be completely stupid and uninteresting jerks during the day because you don't know them and they have nothing worthwhile to say...

Having lots of friends doesn't really mean anything. You only need a select few who you might not even catch up with regularly. I'm pretty sure almost everyone has gone through a period where they ahve either had tons of friends and society to be in and then felt like either they had noone or at least nobody that they wanted to be around.
Just forget it. Get a book or some hobby or pay more attention to yourself.

my grandmother always told me as a child that in life you should never have friend because they always shit on your back at some point.your family are your friend
i didn't believe her at the time and i wanted to prove her wrong but as time went by i realized that she was not wrong and there were some truth in what she was saying. I do socialize but that's where it stop.
i do have my family and my partner,that's all i need.

You should read this before trying to make new friends.

http://philosology.blogspot.com/2009...situation.html

Hello
 

I'll be your friend, I have no friends either

Bitch, shut 'cho ass up!

I is ashamed to see a sista' actin' like a damn honky!