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-   -   Maybe I just have it coming, but still... (https://www.gothic.net/boards/showthread.php?t=17182)

Alkali Girl 11-30-2009 04:50 PM

Maybe I just have it coming, but still...
 
I am getting really, REALLY irritated at people's reaction to the fact that I am naturally blonde, but dye my hair black. If I let my roots grow in a little, and people notice, they are downright SHOCKED. I am aware that blonde is the standard of beauty in our society (whether you like it/know it/agree with it or not), but that doesn't mean that it's what I want. If I were naturally brunette and dyed my hair blonde, they wouldn't think anything of it. Instead, it's the other way around, and I wouldn't mind so much if the reactions weren't so extreme. No matter how I explain it, people will not even begin to accept it. Ex: My eyebrows are naturally dark brown. "So?" My hair isn't a very pretty shade of blonde, more like a light brown, but it's kinda ugly, in my opinion (which, by the way, is the only one that counts). "Yeah? So?" I think black looks better on me. "No, I think blonde would look better on you." No you don't, you think blonde would look better on anyone. In any case, it's MY HAIR. Not yours. Therefore, I will do what I please with it. Again, I wouldn't mind if the reactions were less extreme, or if PEOPLE I BARELY KNOW would stop insisting that I change it back. Seriously. It is MY HAIR. Urgh.

This seems like a really bizarre thing to me, because nobody has an issue with my stompy boots or my cat eyeliner or anything else regarding the way I look. I get the occasional question about these things (some stupid, some not), but nobody tries to change it, ESPECIALLY with such persistence that I've experienced regarding my hair. If it weren't for that, I wouldn't mind the attention itself (which I knew I should expect when I first got into the subculture). Am I ass-backwards here? Is this just something else I should take in stride, or is it excessive of people to be so concerned with something as trivial as someone else's hair color?

carakitty 11-30-2009 05:20 PM

Just ignore those overbearing shits.
Show them your best black-lipped grin and move on.

Cosmicgaunt 11-30-2009 05:41 PM

I don't like blonde hair. :]

the-nihilist 11-30-2009 05:42 PM

OMFG you dye your hair black when it's naturally blonde?! WTF is wrong with you?!?!?!

Alkali Girl 11-30-2009 05:52 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by carakitty (Post 585550)
Just ignore those overbearing shits.
Show them your best black-lipped grin and move on.

Bahaha...thanks...but I also get it from people who DO know me, and who should know better, so that makes it harder.
I was about to say something about how I should complain less, but then I remembered that this is the whining forum. *shrugs*.

Catch 11-30-2009 08:47 PM

I agree it is your hair and you should be able to do what you want. However, I bleached my hair blonde once and everyone harassed me. My boyfriend broke up with me and my family asked why I wanted to blend in with the walls. So blond equaling beauty is a dangerous statement.

Alkali Girl 11-30-2009 09:06 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Catch (Post 585595)
I agree it is your hair and you should be able to do what you want. However, I bleached my hair blonde once and everyone harassed me. My boyfriend broke up with me and my family asked why I wanted to blend in with the walls. So blond equaling beauty is a dangerous statement.

Oh wow...that's terrible...

I didn't mean that "blonde=beauty," necessarily, I just meant that it seems to be what most people prefer (or would expect someone to prefer). Just...wow...I can't believe they did that, and I didn't mean to offend you at all...

Joker_in_the_Pack 11-30-2009 09:19 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Alkali Girl (Post 585597)
Oh wow...that's terrible...

I didn't mean that "blonde=beauty," necessarily, I just meant that it seems to be what most people prefer (or would expect someone to prefer). Just...wow...I can't believe they did that, and I didn't mean to offend you at all...

No, you don't know catch, she deserved it.

About the hair thing, get used to it. People will always give you grief for deviating from the norm, because people are sheep.

Catch 11-30-2009 10:14 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Alkali Girl (Post 585597)
Oh wow...that's terrible...

I didn't mean that "blonde=beauty," necessarily, I just meant that it seems to be what most people prefer (or would expect someone to prefer). Just...wow...I can't believe they did that, and I didn't mean to offend you at all...

That's fine, Basic Tree Magic states that the beautiful people of ancient Ireland had red hair and green eyes. So seriously, people don't care. Another part of the story involves meeting a new boyfriend that turned on me when I dyed my hair back to its natural auburn, chestnut coloring.

Joker_in_the_Pack 11-30-2009 10:44 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Catch (Post 585602)
That's fine, Basic Tree Magic states that the beautiful people of ancient Ireland had red hair and green eyes. So seriously, people don't care. Another part of the story involves meeting a new boyfriend that turned on me when I dyed my hair back to its natural auburn, chestnut coloring.

Maybe it's because you're repulsively stupid, notably unpleasant to look at, and bat shit crazy

carakitty 11-30-2009 10:45 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Alkali Girl (Post 585562)
Bahaha...thanks...but I also get it from people who DO know me, and who should know better, so that makes it harder.
I was about to say something about how I should complain less, but then I remembered that this is the whining forum. *shrugs*.

So don't acknowledge the hair comments from those who should know better. Change the subject. Find something about THEM to pick on back if retaliation is your cup of tea.

Catch 11-30-2009 11:00 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Joker_in_the_Pack (Post 585610)
Maybe it's because you're repulsively stupid, notably unpleasant to look at, and bat shit crazy

Whatever.

You shouldn't let the hair thing bother you, but seriously men are very superficial. I guess I understand. Suposedly we should all be friends and so they want to marry a woman who is attractive. They never notice we are not friends, especially after dating. Actually, I can't think of any guy who doesn't mess up any potential for relationships because they want to have sex.

So, if you can keep up on dying your hair, do it! People's opinions do change according to hair color, so your parents are not stupid.

PersephoneX 12-01-2009 12:04 AM

Mine is a mousy blonde and curly. i straighten it, and i used to dye it red/black regularly. My parents hated it black, but i liked it that way. Right now, i couldnt be bothered what colour it is. People in my industry take note of what we look like and tend to judge our abilities on that. They take me far more seriously when i look like one of them.

Still Jack 12-01-2009 12:33 AM

Yo, These brownies are the mother fucking shiiittttt.

Edit: Oh, yeah, Shut the fuck up, no-one cares about your pathetic life. Peace out.

Apathy's_Child 12-01-2009 12:44 AM

Who said blond = society's standard of beauty? I mean, personally I think most goths look fucking stupid, but that's not the fault of dark hair. Maybe the dye just looks really shitty and obvious on you and that's why everyone is trying to subtly convince you to go natural.

Joker_in_the_Pack 12-01-2009 01:16 AM

Alright OP. Apathy brings up a valid point.

Let me ask you, how does your hair look? Do you look like yo have smooth, natural black hair, or do you look like Cher?

Catch 12-01-2009 01:16 PM

I am in no way saying she should go back to her natural hair color. Doing some research by looking at her website, if you don't post a pic of yourself, maybe your just saying I want to blame changing my appearance on other people.

Necrophagist 12-01-2009 01:27 PM

I think the OP should just flip them all off and run away lolz.

Tam Li Hua 12-01-2009 01:28 PM

Yeah, I've never understood the obsession with blonde hair either. :/

Mine's that weird dark blonde some call "dirty" or "dishpan", and I hate it! I prefer for my hair to be dark red, or blue, or black, or really any other color besides blonde. >_<

Tam Li Hua 12-01-2009 01:30 PM

Catch: I think you need to find a better class of dating material. :/ Whether they're using that as an excuse or because that's actually how they feel, it's a pretty low reason to break up with someone.

Tam Li Hua 12-01-2009 01:34 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Catch (Post 585615)
...but seriously men are very superficial.

I'm going to state the obvious here. =P

*ahem*

Not all men are superficial, just as all women are not deep, soulful creatures. You'll find a mix of both types...and varying degrees of both types...in both sexes/genders.

Catch 12-01-2009 01:54 PM

No, it is superfical. I think the same way. The person I would marry should be special; however, as a woman I am willing to shoot down any guy by saying he's a good friend and then continue to call them and hangout even though we have no common hobbies or work associations. Feel the superiority of All Women!

JCC 12-01-2009 02:21 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Catch (Post 585814)
No, it is superfical. I think the same way. The person I would marry should be special; however, as a woman I am willing to shoot down any guy by saying he's a good friend and then continue to call them and hangout even though we have no common hobbies or work associations. Feel the superiority of All Women!

Stop acting like you've ever had any man wrapped around one of your pudgy digits, you're an animated aborted fucking foetus.

honeythorn 12-01-2009 02:37 PM

I'm naturally a medium blonde. No one really cares what colour I dye my hair, but people who don't know me well, or who have recently met me refused to believe I am blonde, until I dug out a picture of me when I was 18 and had not dyed my hair black ( it's currently dark red )

I do have naturally darker eyebrows than my hair, which may be why people don't believe my natural hair colour.

But seriously it's just hair. Yours to be precise. If people tell you to dye it blonde tell them to eff off, and that you prefer it the way it regardless of their opinion. It may well indeed look shitty on you, who knows? But it's your problem not theirs. No need to get so worked up about it.

Catch 12-01-2009 03:03 PM

Actually I did think your hair was dark brown almost black. Looks good.


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