A question to women.
 

I just want to know why women say every thing they want in a guy.
But when they find that guy that has every thing they wont.
They don't want that guy.They get the guy that has not one thing that they
want.
But just because of his looks that the one they get with.
When that guy hurts the girl. The girl goes back to they guy that has every thing they want.

They still don't want that guy. But this time there sad and crying, that they can not find the guy they want and say all guys are the same. Then it all starts over again.
Why ladies do you do this to your self and the Men that can give you every thing you want.
What the hell do you need a Flashing Neon Sign the size of a highway billboard pointing to the right guy. How hard is it so see the right Guy.

Perhaps the guy that thinks that he is what she wants, is wrong. It takes a rather large ego to think that one knows what a grown woman wants better than she does.

Just so you know, this sort of thing happens to the ladies as well. I say count your losses and move on.

your right if the guy thinks he knows but. After he get to know the girl and rally listens to what she is saying and.

He just so happens to be the kind of guy she is talking about. Why can she not see it . If he is being him self, and all the thing she wants. He is and he is not pretending to be some one he is not ,he is being him self. But she still can not or will not see. Just what move on ?

PRO TIP: Chicks say that shit so as not to hurt your feelings, because they are stupid.

On the whole, laydeez will go for big beefcake fucks because that's what they're programmed to do. Ms. Cavelady wasn't gonna be doing right by the species if she had sex with Pee Wee Herman, you dig? So, along comes Stone Cold Steve Ugsten, puts his penis in her yazuzu a number of times and she farts out a bloody mess which, through the magic of television, would later become known as a baby. Suddenly, Steve doesn't look so hot. He's pretty fucking stupid. Sure, he can hunt, but because he's so fucking thick he may as well be sitting down watching 3rd Rock From The Sun with one hand down his leopard skin thong. Then, Pee Wee, with his gentle nature, smarts, and ability to not punch her in the face as a form of foreplay seems pretty attractive. By this point, Steve has forgotten his address and had to leave town because he missed a court date, also because he is dumb.

In other words, you look like a shit lay, but a fucking fantastic babysitter.

There are ways around this. First off, and this is the most important part, so go get a permanent marker and write this on the back of your hand:

"DO NOT BE A PUSSY."

I hope you did that, because it is the single most important piece of advice you will ever get regarding getting chicks. Attitude, when faced with bangable babes, is around 80% of the work. Approximately 6% of that is learning to look like you're listening, and even being able to automatically give correct answers despite not paying any attention. The rest is your ability to give head. I am fucking terrible in bed, but I manage to convince ladies to sleep with me because they're the retarded offspring of Steve and can't tell the difference between good sex and good head, unless She's Janeane Garofalo, I don't know why.

THE ALMIGHTY LIST (May be updated casually):

GOOD:

Being manly
Agreeing that there is more than one shade of white
Chinese from last week is not breakfast
Fix that broken shit
Matthew McConawhateverthefuck, the dude who can't stand up right
E!
Expensive shit
Smelling nice
Remembering shit
Remembering her name
Remembering she's your girlfriend or something
Space (Not the the outer variety. This is subject to change)
Stuff she likes
Beards (They will deny this)
Inside out underwear is not clean
Giving good head
Smelling like a sweaty ball sack
Affection
Babies
Letting them have independence

BAD:

Being manly
Expensive shit
Too much / little space
Showing too much affection
Showing too little affection
Showing the same amount of affection all of the time
Beards
Smelling like a sweaty ball sack
Crying
Not having enough emotion
Why is that shit still broken?
Not wanting to have sex
Always wanting to have sex
Having a sexual routine
What, you think she's some baby machine? Pig...........
Having no money (I.E, it would help if they had a job)

You may notice there is an overlap. This makes sense once reminded it is a short lecture on chicks.

Always remember, girls do not want a boyfriend persay. Mostly, they want a boyfriend better than their friends (See: Hand). Relationships are like top trumps, only if Top Trumps was invented by Calvin from Calvin & Hobbes, and also he was a sadistic retard. That isn't to say they do things out of malice (PRO TIP: They do). Rather, they do these things because half the time they do not know what they want, which is why I recommend you buy a very large box to keep receipts in.

Always remember, let them know they're beautiful and wonderful and lie as much as possible. But don't tell them they are too great, or they might figure out you are not Steve. Also, cow licks are not cool.

If you can complete this task, you are ready for a girlfriend:

Eat your own foot. Using absolutely no anaesthetic, or cutting it off or whatever. Just pull your foot up to your face, and eat it. The whole thing. Once finished, you will be minus one foot, but plus one fucking bad ass story about why you only have one foot. This makes chicks wet in their vaginas. It helps if you own a leather jacket, and can hit a radio to make the DJ play the song she likes ("The Ballad Of Matthew McConawhateverthefuck", I think. Bon Jovi Feat. Alison Moyet).

And whatever you, under NO circumsances, no MATTER WHAT, do you cross the streams.

Well, you know... people don't always say everything that they're thinking, people don't always feel comfortable communicating the deepest desires of their hearts.

Also, there are unconscious variables that one may not even be aware of, so they may have spoken about conscious desires but that would be far from the big picture as a whole.

If she doesn't like him for who he is, he's better off doing his best to move on and find some one who can appreciate him. So, yes, just move on.

Dude! You should write for Cracked.

I don't have the patience to make something long enough to be worthy of an actual article.

Thanks a lot every one and you are all right I'm going to move on. when i find the same thing happening i will move on again. chip chip cheerio and all that good jazz.

Hyperbole And A Half has recently spilled all the secrets to relationships, do try to keep up.

http://hyperboleandahalf.blogspot.co...ship-tips.html

haha lmao When he killed the rabbit.
:D

Any way I now know what i have to do stop wasting my time with Women that are blind to what is in front of them and move on.

"learn this" most woman don't know what they want untill their in their 30s.

Woman don't know what they want so is up to you to show them ^__^.

Wow that is new to me. They sure as hell act like they know.

Grow a pair.

Or start fucking men. Be warned, they're just as bad.

[quote=Saya;624893]Grow a pair.

Or start fucking men. Be warned, they're just as bad.[/QUOT

Ok your not getting it I just did that why I stop wasting my time. If I did not I would be that pussy will not take no and. Will not let the girl alone after she says fuck off. But by me saying fuck the blind women that growing a pair. If that not then I'm going to home depot garden section and buying some chia balls. And you can water them for me. :p

Buy a Fleshlight and porn of your choice. Problem solved.

haha lmao that works.

[quote=Daywalker;624895] You know its bad when blind women won't fuck you. Maybe its not them seeing what an awesome person you are, maybe you don't see what a sack of shit you are.

[quote=Saya;624910] hahaha lol I agree

Duckman's post was fucking awesome.

This is the best contribution to Gnet that Duckie has ever made!
Well that, and "My bicycle has a light!". Epic.

OMG! I just about choked on my coffee several times and am severely oxygen deprived. That is the best and funniest post I have read in some time!

Oddly enough, I got exactly what I always said I wanted: a hot, slightly nerdy, taller-than-me-with-dark-hair man. He's not Asian, though, but I guess we can't all be perfect. ;)

Sooo, I'm gonna go ahead and say those other girls are just crazy.

I'm going to go ahead and say that you just think that you fit her ideal but that you only fit what you think she want. There are loads of guys out there like you that whine about what a "nice guy" they are and how girls never go for the "nice guy". News flash, if you can't be happy to just be her friend then you aren't really a "nice guy", you are exactly like any other guy who wants in her pants, you just don't have the balls to tell her that. This doesn't mean that you are a bad person but it does mean that you are obnoxious and need to grow up.

Plus even if you are a wonderful person and you fit what she wants do you really think that you are the only one? There are tons of nice, funny, intelligent guys in the world. Also just because you think a guy is a jerk/moron/whatever that doesn't mean that he is, chances are that A) your jealousy is clouding your vision and B) he treats her differently that he treats you and C) she has said at some point that honesty is important to her and he, unlike you, has the balls to be honest with her about liking her.

^ Oh, that's what's going on? I was confused. [Surprising, I know.]

Daywalker, just ask her out. You'll never know if she's interested or not if you don't just ask her out like a normal person would. It's what separates the men from the creepers. Creepers get real close to the girl emotionally, never letting their feelings be known but continuing in the "friend" vein, and men actually say, "Hi there, would you like to go to a movie/dinner/cafe with me sometime?"