I never would have expected this.
 

So I knew my boyfriend (whom I've been living with for about a year and a half) was cheating. I knew it. And I ignored it because I really had high hopes of him changing and we were gonna get married and stuff. It's pretty serious.

Anyway I just found out by going through his stuff (which I shouldn't have, obviously) that not only did he fuck some fat old sloppy ugly OLD woman who is OLD with three kids on a cruise he went on, but that he's also been answering and possibly creating personal ads on Craigslist as a "bi guy" for threesomes and for "shemale" sexual encounters. I actually saw the email of him talking to this person saying they're gonna get a motel room down the street from my house after I leave for work. He told the self-proclaimed "shemale" that he had only ever done head before but was willing to try anything. Meaning this is not his first time doing this.

One time a while ago I saw a naked picture he took of himself on his phone, which is really unlike him, and he said he took it for me. Wrong. This is the photo he sent to the threesome couple. He gave me used nudie pictures. I was looking at a boner popped for someone else.

The cheating I can deal with. I would just never have expected anything other than totally homo encounters, and especially for young people and not old married fuggos.

I don't know whether to laugh or be insulted.

Kick the fucker out, and if you want to be brutal get him naked pretending you're going to fuck him, shove a broomstick up his ass, and THEN throw him out, so the world can see him for what he truely is, an asshole who will fuck anything. Oh and make sure you know which stuff he gifted you, so if he takes you to court for stuff he paid for, stuff that he gave you as gifts won't be taken away, even if you don't want it, at least he won't have it.

You deserve better PJ.

DTMFA. He doesn't deserve you.

Laugh. Specifically in his face when you kick his ass to the curb.

Wow. He sounds like a real scum bag, I'm sorry you had to go through someone treating you like that.

I'll never understand people who can lead that kind of cheating double life. If you want to have sex with other people while your in a relationship you let the other person know you're getting sexually restless then either try an open relationship, break up, or continue being monogamous. Ugh, people.

Good luck with the things that come with a break up where you live together. I hope he realizes and regrets that he's lost an amazing person.

Who the shit would cheat on PJ? Seriously.

EDIT: Oops. I thought I was logged in on my other account. Oh well. I mention it because I didn't want my sincerity to be misunderstood.

BUSTED spooky spooky

You know what? I've had a little think about this and I think you should kick him out.

Even though you don't seem fussed about his cheating, if I were you, I'm concerned about is the fact you hope he'll change and the fact that he can't look you in the eye and be honest with you.

He has no respect for you PJ - move on, you are amazing and awesome and go out there and find yourself a guy who will respect you, and who will behave like an adult.

Sure, have an open relationship, but be open and adult about it, don't just hide your sexual preferences from your partner.

Don't hang around. Move on.

You should neither laugh nor be insulted; that shit isn't funny (although hopefully it will be when the pain wears off), but it doesn't reflect on you either. He's the dickhole here.

Honestly though, your opening line is a little worrying. To slip into cliché-mode for a moment - unfortunately, that shit everybody's mother told them growing up is 100% correct. If you don't respect yourself, no one else is going to.

I don't claim to know anything about you beyond your posts here, but I have seen your picture (hot), your Tumblr (LOL), and your animal saving-efforts (suggest you are a person of empathy & compassion rather than a hot funny bitch of a sociopath, like a female Sherlock. Although actually, that'd be awesome... Never mind. My point here - you seem to be a nice person. Let's just run with that). You are, in short, the kind of girl many of my lovely single male friends spend their drunken jags tearfully proclaiming the non-existence of. You really need to put a higher value on yourself next time some dickhole tries his luck with treating you like shit.

PJ, you've got two ways to go about this, but you have one option that has to be met no matter what you do.

First thing's first. Get your ass to a clinic. Get yourself checked out pronto.

Now. You can either dump him (which by now is probably your best bet), or you need to have a talk with him. Tell him what the situation is and if this is the kind of relationship that he wants, then there needs to be new rules in place. Rules that ensure both partners' sexual health.

You need communication and honesty. If you don't have that in this kind of situation, then you're just putting your life in danger and that needs to be fixed. You deserve that much at least.

Thanks guys. I made an appointment for an hpv vaccine and an std test.

The real kicker is also found out he's a cross-dresser and doesn't know whether or not he wants to be a boy anymore.

Right now we're on hiatus and i'm dexiding what to do. It's just a lot of information to process.

I'm still in camp DTMFA because that was a seriously dickish thing to do to you, but also, from my experience, when a person wants to explore their sexuality, some have a really promiscuous stage, and I'm sure trying to figure gender out isn't helping either.

I think it would be kinder for both of you if he just did his own thing without endangering your own health or feelings. He's not being a good person, and he should go work that out, and then when he's mature enough to handle a respectful relationship and know what he wants and who he is, then a relationship isn't so hard. But doing it secretly like that behind your back is really shitty, super unfair to you, and it isn't going to get better until he straightens himself out, and that could take a long time.

I hear you, Saya. You know what they say about good advice. Easy to give, hard to take.

I know what the smarter option is in my head. It's only that my heart is sad and doesn't know what to do.

<3 I hear ya, I never take any advice I get regarding relationships, even when its very foolish not to. If it makes you feel any better, me and Versus had a rather nice "Who the fuck would do that to PJ? She's awesome! She's hot!" conversation last night.

Bah. I look better on paper. Thanks though.

Girl please, if you are half as awesome as your tumbler then you are far more awesome than pretty much anyone I know.

My tumblr is my life's work! I reblog only from the best!

Oh, the original stuff you write is hilarious and you know it.

lol1234567

I KNEW IT!

PJ, dump him. That's some serious shit, dude.

But i already painted the whole house! :(

Pineapple, this makes me really sad. It's poopoo when people mess with your feelings/ WHOLE LIFE like that. This is what terrifies me about serious relationships! you never know if your partner has a whole other life. fuck...it could be happening to me for all i know. My bf has been in this crazy, confused mode for the past few months...... BLAH. But hugs, you're awesome. Always think of you first.