Why All The Twilight Hate? (Stand back, Stephen King. I got this.)
 

So, I wrote this critical review for Twilight on Amazon. I gave it 1 star and complained that it contained nothing new and was only popular because the readers are too stupid to know anything about the history of gothic literature. I'm looking for some people who can go to the review and vote for it, to increase my reviewer rank at Amazon.

I know that when I left Gnet it was a haven of Twilight haters, but the community was in decline. Hopefully, this is not now a forum full of sparkly vampires in touch with their emotional needs. If you want to help stick a knife in Stephenie Meyer's back (and boost my ranking) here is the link:

http://www.amazon.com/review/R2G5A5C...cm_cr_rdp_perm

and here is the 1st paragraph, to entice you:

Last, but not least, you can see my Amazon profile and a very non-goth picture of me which you can laugh at.

Dude, Twilight is so 2010. Its all about 50 Shades Of Grey now.

Yeah, what the hell is up with 50 Shades anyway?

It's really badly written porn for people who are shocked and intrigued by anything other than the most vanilla, lights off, under the covers, missionary position kind of sex. And somehow it seems to be viewed by a lot of people as a straight up novel instead of a romance novel so it is more socially acceptable to read.

Oh I also forgot the part where bdsm is totally hot but people don't bother to actually learn anything about it so they don't know when it is portrayed in a completely unsafe and inaccurate way.

Also, it was originally a Twilight fanfic, people encouraged the author to publish it so she did, changing the names and the circumstances (there's no vampires or anything).

And oh god, does it read like a bad fanfic.

I saw an interview where she said she knows its shit and she wrote it in a bad time of her life, and she's surprised its so loved, so kudos to her for that at least. But the "Jacob" character is pretty racist.

Is that what it's all down to now? Christ, I hate to keep going on about this, but capitalism kills art. SMDH.

All I hear about recently is 50 Shades of Grey. It's utter toss. I read it just to see what all the fuss was about and I could barely stand to finish it. One of the worst things I've ever read and I really have read some utter shit before.

I read the synopsis and that was enough for me. Finding out it was Twilight fan fiction made me shutter with disgust that someone actually loved the dribble enough to put their own little spin on it. It really is a shame that there's people out there who would fill their heads with that sort of hackwork than read a real piece of literature.

I hate first-person stories. Which is pretty much the reason I never finished Frankenstein. I have started writing a comedic, first-person novel, but this is just an attempt to get me to lighten up.

Guys my deeply religious Pentecost aunt wants mom to pick up a copy of 50 Shades Of Grey for her.

asdgasdhasdgaSDGA.

Holy fuck all. You know, shit just doesn't make any sense anymore. Fuck it. Anything goes.

You know maybe she doesn't know what its about. And this could be really really funny.

^ Don't tell anyone the difference if you get to see a play by play of her reactions.

I plan to read 50 shades when I find it in a used book store. I want to see how bad it is for myself, but no way is it worth the new price.

At first I actually wanted to read it because I'm a pervert, and I figured a novel about exploring a bdsm would be right up my ally. Then through the internet I found out it was terrible, fanfiction, not as much of a real bdsm relationship as I hoped, and that the male character makes a million dollars an hour and other such nonsense.

However, I'm curious about who is going to be cast as the main guy in the movie version (which apparently a lot of media sites are speculating about). He's going to have to handle Edward Cullen level fangirlism.

(...I'm going to have to see it if Alexander Skarsgard ends up being cast as the main guy. I never thought I'd like an actor that much.)

This site read it and blogged, its pretty hilarious: http://50shadesofsuck.tumblr.com/

Those ladies who are talking about it and reading parts, I died laughing.

That website is hilarious, I died laughing reading the bloggers replies to what she was reading.

FFS, the ONE bookshop in my town is taking pre orders for the new shipment of Fifty Shades of Shit because they are completely sold out. Sold out of every copy of ALL THREE BOOKS. I was in the shop earlier and there was a a really long queue of women waiting at each of the FOUR tills to pre order that shit.

I just don't get it. Maybe if that's your first encounter with erotica (and if you're over 20 HOW?!) but there are way better books out there. Hell I bet Anne Rice's BDSM book was better.

Anne Rice's book was much better, still not an amazing read but much better than Fifty Shades. I think it's also a trilogy but I only read the first book.

And oh god, does it read like a bad fanfic.
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Ahh...Weenielight, er Twilight....
 

Well, I have to say I didn't get as far as reading the Twilight books after sitting through a few minutes of the Twilight Movie (which one, I have no idea), which was hilariously lame. As far as I could tell it was simply "Beverly Hills 90210" with vampires. Bitchy, whiny vampires with all sorts of personal issues that is.

And this is a phenomena. Wow!

Maybe I should quit writing and become a vampire therapist.

Twilight is very over. As I hope will be 50 Shades very soon. It seems that every couple of years there are these really poorly written books filled with cliche after cliche that people flock to for some reason. Brilliant modern Gothic writers like Robert Dunbar, Andrew Wolter, and B.E. Scully are overlooked for this trash. I don't get this. I saw a post on FaceBook the other day. It went something like this. "Heard this movie was so bad. Reviews are awful. Got my ticket for tonight." HUH??? :eek: I seek out art getting good reviews! Why read Twilight when you know you're going to hate it? We all know what it's about. 50 Shades is the same way. I've read about it. I don't care for anything about it. Why read it?