The Truth About Life
 

The Whole World Sucks If You Ask Me, Some Days I Just Want To Die! In Fact,
I Feel As If Life Is A Lie, A Web We're Tangled Up In. We Struggle To Break The Surface, But We're Swallowed By Darkness. A Meer Thread Of Our Souls Is Left To Haunt The Bastards Left Behind. My Soul Stabs The Very Heart Of Humanity, Longing To Feel The Agony, Longing To Taste The Warm, Salty Blood, And Suck The Life Out Of The Mortals, Sentenced To The Hell That Is Life. Boo-fucking-hoo, They Taunt And Tease. But Someday, It Will Be Their Blood, Their Very Life Force, That Phases Through My Bleeding Heart.

Hey! I got a mention! Aren't I the special one.

yeah, believe it or not, you kind of inspired me. Sorry for all that mean crap I said. I was pissed at my mom and that put me in an extra sour mood. Tell me what you think of my poem! Thanks!

Haha, you got a mention magpie. You get to have a cookie from the jar because you got the mention of the day.

To iloveafi: hey, ever heard of a run on sentence? Try to avoid them, it makes reading a hell of a lot easier. If the whole world sucks, then you'll just have to keep away from the mouth. It cant suck you if you keep away from the dangerous end.

Honestly mate, grow some balls. Everyone has a shit time in life, but its full of great times as well. Just wait it out, lay off the depressants, and you'll be better eventually.

Ha! That made me laugh.

iloveafi - Corpsey is right about the run-on sentences and I don't like how it's all in capitals or how angsty it is.

But you credited me for inspiring you and I got a special mention so feel pretty good right now. Have a silver star.

I don't like the poem.
I'm sorry but I abhor depressive attitudes. Actually, I'm not sorry.
Humanity is falling in a spiral of apathy. Nihilism is a common thing, suicides are normal amongst teens and up, Depression will become the second most common disability by 2020.
Humans are becoming masochists about reality. They would rather "face the truth that life is meaningless" than "live in our little fantasy land".
The Fantasy Land is the real reality (pardon the redundance, but it's well written); it's humans who make it Hell.

I have my own fantasy world.. does that make me sane? ;)

Much more than a Nihilist, and much more beautiful.
On a side note: Nihilists themselves are not evil or stupid. I myself am a Nihilist in that I find no point in life, but I think that's what makes it beautiful and worth living.

Thanks, I respect your criticism. A developing poet needs to get some occasionaly. I don't mean to sound like a bitch, but i'm very upset. The more depressed I am, the more my writings suck. Sorry about the run on sentences. I'm not really paying attention, I was trying to paint my nails.(they're a really neat shade of black, too. I tried to paint a skull, but it didn't work out) I'll look more often before I submit stuff. However, Godslayer Jillian, lay off the suicide comments. Not trying to whine, but my brother just died of suicide, so I'd rather not have you throw it back in my face. I know I've written a lot of suicide stuff, but that's my problem. I like to write about what I'm depressed about.

The suicide thing is part of his signature sweetie. It wasn't directed at you or your writings personally.

I come from a family with suicide tendencies, AND I'm a Nihilist as you know if you read my post.
I'm not throwing it at your face, but I'm damned if I do not condemn suicide, my repressed subconciousness.

whatever
 

look, i'm sorry. I say some really stupid shit when i'm pissed. Forgive me. Oh, sorry about what I said to you on the sequel to "the truth about life" i'm really sorry. I'm really bad about letting my moth overload my ass.

me too. Thanks for not being too harsh. I know this poem sucks.

A bit of structure wouldn't go astray.
Stop dwelling on the negative, you'll only sink deeper.
Try to look on the bright side you're alive, now start living.

Nihilism isn't my cup of tea, I prefer Absurdism. If we have a purpose chances are we won't agree with it.

Just a tiny note:

Can you please quote first and answer later... the reverse thing you do works kind of confusing...

Thank you.

I do think you have potential to become a poet, but you need to work on your metaphores. Try to avoid words as 'darkness' and 'blood', they are way to common in 'angsty teen poems', which makes them lose their impact...

Maybe it's just me, but reading this "poem" made me feel as if I were reading the lyrics to Emo Song...

Don't worry, you'll come out of puberty alive.

1989 the number another summer (get down)
Sound of the funky drummer
Music hittin' your heart cause I know you got soul
(Brothers and sisters, hey)
Listen if you're missin' y'all
Swingin' while I'm singin'
Givin' whatcha gettin'
Knowin' what I knowin'
While the Black bands sweatin'
And the rhythm rhymes rollin'
Got to give us what we want
Gotta give us what we need
Our freedom of speech is freedom or death
We got to fight the powers that be
(faint voice in the background)Let me hear you say

Chorus
Fight the power
Fight the power
Fight the power
Fight the power
Fight the power
Fight the power
Fight the power
Wheve got to Fight the powers that be.

As the rhythm designed to bounce
What counts is that the rhymes
Designed to fill your mind
Now that you've realized the prides arrived
We got to pump the stuff to make us tough
from the heart
It's a start, a work of art
To revolutionize make a change nothin's strange
People, people we are the same
No we're not the same
Cause we don't know the game
What we need is awareness, we can't get careless
You say what is this?
My beloved, lets get down to business
Mental self defensive fitness
(Yo) bum rush the show
You gotta go for what you know
Make everybody see, in order to fight the powers that be
(faint voice in background) Lemme hear you say...
Fight the Power

Chorus

Chorus

Elvis was a hero to most(3x)
But he never meant, shit to me you see
Straight up racist that sucker was
Simple and plain
Mother fuck him and John Wayne
Cause I'm Black and I'm proud
I'm ready and hyped plus I'm amped
Most of my heroes don't appear on no stamps
Sample a look back you look and find
Nothing but rednecks for 400 years if you check
Don't worry be happy
Was a number one jam
Damn if I say it you can slap me right here
(Get it) lets get this party started right
Right on, c'mon
What we got to say
Power to the people no delay
Make everybody see
In order to fight the powers that be

Chorus

What we got to say
fight the power,cmon(x3)

Niels is right.
iloveafi- Please do something about the whole quote thing. You practically have to read it upside down to understand what you're saying.

Iloveafi, I'm going to be nice because I'm in a suprisingly good mood, just please work on the captilization errors. It looks really wierd