Freedom of Mind
 

Freedom of Mind

Mention problems, however trite,
Bring them out into the light,
Speak your piece, then keep silent,
Work through the urge to become violent,
Simmering, broiling in your soul,
Will you allow the evil to take control?
Feel it seething through your being,
Traverse your veins like boiling oil,
Rotting strength, to you a tonic,
Relief of boredom, endless toil.

Evil, to you a second class salvation,
More familiar than the standard grace,
More soothing, and yet invigorating,
Its' temp status not yet real,
Embrace the darkness, shun the light,
Receive solace of souls' ebony night.

Sense the cold blade slice your hide,
Feel the burning blood release,
Feel the cleansing/soiling lack of grace,
Gleeful exultation of the minor demons,
Crimson gift, scars retain sense of sacrifice.

False gift, never giving, this gift forever steals,
Your blood is worthless, tainted before all creation,
Atoning not for any sin,
You think you petty sacrifice to evil valued,
Yet before teeth gnashing in an eternal din,
It has no quiet, no perverted heathen virtue,
Your self worth equal to highest fallen angels' sin.

Interpretation of your dilemma dawns,
No way out for you evil spawns,
Will you defect to the other side,
Oh yes, in Truth, in War you are,
Guised as betrayal, in truth redemption,
Let it cool your blood, heal your scars,
Renew your mind, renew your soul,
Let loving make you whole.

Cast aside the tattered veil,
A calmer peace within you dawns,
Truly renewed living spawns,
Soothing solace now your potion,
Sincerely realize undying devotion.


Oh, sweet joy, and epiphany,
Your new born ears receive the symphony,
Heir of purest, unsullied honor, blessings abound,
Desicrating din silenced, thanksgiving resounds,
Echoing down hallways of time,
A Path emerges, a guiding light,
No more exists living death, eternal strife,
A throughfare, and avenue fresh and novel,
What unprecedented thoughts might be revealed,
What original beauty heretofore concealed.

Unfamilar, yes, but true and kind,
A freedom of soul, freedom, of mind.





I wrote this several years ago, but never really shared it with anyone other than a few friends and family. I see things in a slightly different perspective now, but it still serves to show one place I have been, and some of where I came from. It is just one glimpse.


On another note, I do appreciate constuctive criticism, I welcome it, even if it seems harsh at the time. I do not have much experience with poetry, and haven't even seriously studied it since seventh grade. (Highschool was almost seven years ago.....god, but i'm getting old :) ) Even then, it was mostly narrative. I have an appreciation, however, and every once in a while something like this worms its way out of my brain. So please, knowledgeable criticism is desired.

I really like it, its good you used so good words.


I've only ever written 1 poem worth the paper it was on and I could never post it , i'd be flamed to death it was very angsty..

It was very good, i liked it, quite long.
Its not a bad thing that its long, I'm just saying that.

Is it free verse or are you following a certain rhyme scheme?

If you are than you kinda messed up on some of the rhyming.
It probably was free verse though so yeah, it doesen't matter.

It does have some structure, although if you were to ask me exactly what kind, I wouldn't know. The rhyme is a a little loose, true. I don't have any idea what type of poetry it would be considered. It is just how I felt, and i liked the way it sounded.

It's good though, so thanks for something good to read it really lightened my mood.

Then it has accomplished something good, which for me is just as wonderful as making people think. you are welcome.

Wow, all I can say is, wow. So beautiful, and it really strikes a chord with me.
I love it just the way it is written. Awesome.

Beautiful! The fifth stanza is my favorite.