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-   -   A poem inspired by the works of William Blake (https://www.gothic.net/boards/showthread.php?t=5811)

KontanKarite 05-05-2007 10:22 PM

A poem inspired by the works of William Blake
 
The Thing I Can't Lament

While standing in the line
I was waiting to pay my fine
When one no older than four
Hugged my leg from behind

"Come hither, little one."
"Do not disturb the man in black."
Protecting your young,
You saved this one from my "attack".

But the little one would not let go
With a great smile and eyes that glow
"But mommy, he's so cool."
"I just want to know."

And the fearful eyes of experience
Would yield to a child's innocence.

Underwater Ophelia 05-07-2007 07:03 AM

I think it could be better, it's kinda cheesy.

Aaroneet 05-11-2007 01:54 PM

You did a service to William Blake, but you're better when you're writing for yourself.

Vyvian Blackthorne 05-11-2007 02:08 PM

God, I love

'And the fearful eyes of experience
Would yield to a child's innocence.'


Great! Very well written in a closing sentence, though the rest to be honest isn't as good as your other work. Blake is talented and I appreciate the tribute you've made of his work, though I'd suggest sticking to your regular influences, or techniques.

Goth Forever

Kitten of the Catacomb 05-11-2007 02:34 PM

Twas cute.

Dread Affliction 05-11-2007 09:28 PM

I enjoyed this but is there a specific work of his that inspired this?

KontanKarite 05-12-2007 10:15 PM

There wasn't a specific work, per se'. I was going in the direction of his songs of innocence. It's cute, light, fluffy, and sweet. I just wanted to add a gothic spin to that kind of attitude.


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