Disappointed
 

I had a recent outburst on this web site when I saw a gang of people belittling another. Perhaps I should explain myself:

When I reached the tender age of seven, I was diagnosed with Ulcerative Colitis. My body was at the mercy of the prednesone I had to take to keep it in check; my emotions ran as rampant as those of an impulsive animal. I couldn't control what I said, what time I woke up, what I ate, or when I went to sleep. For months at a time, I was living but I wasn't truly living my life. I was criticized harshly in school because I had an inability to follow directions. To further my problems, I lashed out at anyone who tried to "help" me; any form of aid was mistaken for more criticism. My classmates belittled me daily, not only for my class conduct, but for my restricted diet. I couldn't do what others my age could; I couldn't even so much as eat a package of M&M's, or raw fruit, for that matter! As the teasing reached a point when others told me that I was better off dead, I felt my childhood slipping away from me, slowly but surely. At the age of seven, I knew what it meant to live. I knew what it meant to die inside a drawn-out, painful death. As silly as it seems, I'm still waiting for my childhood to return, for me to be able to put death aside, and trust someone the way I innocently trusted others. My Ulcerative Colitis was put into submission, but living with the disease took a greater price than I could ever have imagined.

When I see another have to suffer through being "belittled" or otherwise picked on, I grow disappointed. Not just in the bullies, but in myself. I see my childhood replaying before my very eyes, one step at a time...

You see, anger doesn't stem from nothing. It has a rational face, and a living, breathing soul. It has, in its arms, me- the seven-year-old living with U.C.

Wow, I'm sorry to hear that. I find any type of chastising from other kids to be sickening. I get it a lot just because of life choices. I find that it isn't fair to be picked on simply for being more diginified and cultured than my peers. I hate deeming myself higher than everyone else, but it's true. All I can say for your situation is that any experience in life simply makes you a stronger, more experienced person for the years still to come.

I suppose...It was over the time that I was sick that I was able to "teach myself", so to speak. I began to be more conscious of historical dates. Soon enough, a spark was born. I became a history student.

My sympathies for what you have had to endure. I was seriously pushed around in school as well, and it must have been a hundred times worse for you. I can't even imagine.

No wonder you're on Gothic.net.

Understandable and noble: you are taking the high road by being forgiving of what the rest of us were intolerant of, and as a result we were belittling. BUT...sometimes we get harassed by trolls or drive by "freak watchers", and then we show no mercy.

So try to see the entire context: not just our comments, but who are they directed towards, and what has that person said beforehand?

But yes, forgiveness should be paramount.

It tends to build up once one person starts as well. This forum is actually better than another I use (for a hobby of mine), people would even get flammed there for sticking up for the newbies that hadn't learnt yet. Sometimes by the moderators/owners. A lot of new members left very quickly.

Its much friendlier here, but this sort of thing is bound to happen sometimes. Especially when someone isn't following rules or being courteous.

I didn't post anything in the arguments but I did read them, at least its not everyone.

What happened to you Aaroneet sounds aweful, people can be so harsh.

Humanepain, I will try to take what is said on this site into context. But I also have natural sympathies for someone else who is being belittled. Belittlement is a part of my past; while I can't change the past, I can use it to be stronger. That's partially why I am who I am today. Even pre-U.C, I was the kid who thought differently, listened to different music, etc. Part of becoming involved in the Gothic subculture was learning to embrace that difference; it is as well part of the reason that someone could have belittled on a site such as this. Then again, what I have found on this website in terms of community and togetherness is unbelievable. I would defend the belittled, but I wouldn't leave this site for (mostly, within reason) anything.

Well I applaud you for defending the belittled. I think the Knight's vow said something like "defend the poor and weak". We should be more tolerant. But sometimes the newb is a faker and just harassing us. That's all I am saying. Then you would be defending a shyster. But again, your way is the high road, error on the side of caution and give the newb a break. :)

i found a dead baby bird in my garden today as i looked at it it scared me but as i was on the phone i was happy my friend is comeing home from foster care im so eited i no this thread odesnt count but all you can go fuck ur selfs im have problems in my mind you may not understand but i do when i think bout it ur all just a bunch over people on a website who just dont even no what i look like so u all dont mater to me

Okay, but next time, make it a comment that is about what I wrote.

And relate it to yourself if you identify with it.

Why in the HELL haven't you left yet?
ALSO! HauntedHouse doesn't wanna talk to you, nobody here does...sheesh.

badteccy i dont wanna leave you no i talked to some one who was a friend to me they said well u well meet people one day who well be very mean to you but if you wanna make peace with them because thats the part of being friends with some one you have to make flexiable changes for them and ur self and you wanna have a good connection with them and thats all i have to say good night

Please leave badteccy alone.

:: Prays for strength ::

Lord, grant me patience!

Right back at you. Only you're one, we're thirty (at least); you're ugly, we're gorgeous; and we really don't care about you, while you just say it over and over between sobs so that you can feel better about yourself despite the fact that real goths laugh at you.
Seiously, you make me feel like Ghenghis Khan; making me feel like watching you cry would be a great pleasure.

hey yea i hear u guys get fresh meat my friend amber wants tp join the site

Go fuck yourself with Lindsay Lohans pickled thumb.

I honestly could not understand any of that...are you suggesting I want to be friends with you. You want some cybersex with Haunted, and stop it...IT'S JUST THE INTERNET!
Thanks, Humanepain :)

Please try to ignore her.

Humane, you're too kind. Allow me.

(picks up baseball bat)

(Got to love a good Louisville Slugger.)

My Lady, grant me good upper-arm strength.

Look, she seems to be gone and is probably not coming back. Instead of dwelling on this, let's look to the future. Goodbye, missfreakychick saga, hello well thought-out posts. Not to say that I am picking on her, but I recognize her ineptitude and immaturity at times.

In any case, let this die out.