You Know What, Life's Gonna Be Alright
 

Lately, I've been under alot of stress.
Stress, that seemed like it disappeared six months ago, but didn't. I thought I was over it, I wasn't.

I've been stressed out, because quite frankly, I haven't really been enjoying life.

For me, school is a misery. I am bored out of my mind there because they teach me absolutely nothing. We did a section on poetry to discover new authors; I've known about Yeats, Poe, and Cummings for the past five years. The stuff we do in school bores me, because I already know how to reduce a fraction, write a hyperbole, and test for dead RAM. As such, my grades have gone to the shitter, and I'm facing some bad consequences.

I've always had this nagging doubt in my head that I'd lose the one I love. We're 2,500 miles away from each other, and there could be a billion things that go wrong. Every day, my greatest fear is losing her.

I've grown apart from old friends that I used to hang out with. My old buddies who I've stood by have been leaving me, and in turn I have left them. We've been simply seperating.

My family situation hasn't gotten any better. I've lost my home of six years for no reason, and I hate living in this apartment that I am being forced to call a home.

I'm not satisfied with my performance in sports, and with my body in general. I'm not satisfied with my abilities to write code or poetry. I am not satisfied with my life in general.

Yet, life's going to be alright.

Sure, I'm doing bad in school now. Because I'm bored out of my skull. College is supposedly going to offer me an escape from this; and I've already managed to get into community college two years earlier.

Even though my girlfriend and I may be 2,500 miles away in distance, love really doesn't depend on how many miles we're together. It could be 2 or 2 million, I'd still love her the same.

As I'm growing away from my old friends, I'm making new ones. I've finally found a group of people who'll accept the fact that I can dress in complete black, get a lip ring and a blue mohawk, and still be a cool guy to hang out with, and a half-decent paintballer.

My family may not be close to me, but I will learn from that. Learn that when I make my own family, with my wife and children, I will never let what they let happen, happen to my family.

My body, my skills, and my mind can be improved. It will take work, but it can be done.

I've always felt like something was holding me back. I don't know why, but I have. It was either school, my friends, or my family that was holding me back.

So fuck it. This year, I'm going to say "fuck you" and do what my heart tells me too.

I have a dream. I'm going to build a big ship. One of those old viking longship, and sail from Canada to... Hell, let's make it Japan. That is my dream, and I'm going to try and make it happen.

Things are going to be alright. Sure, it's going to be a bumpy road, but fortune favours the bold.

Anyway, I'm happy right now, and my heart's beating like crazy.

So, for anyone who has ever thought that all those "Oh, I was depressed and felt like shit, but now I'm all better" stories were bullshit (Like I did...), they do actually happen.

I'm giddy.
And since I like ending topics with a question-ish thing:
What's your absolute, wildest, outlandish, may-never-happen-but-want-to-and-can-do dream?

My most outlandish dream is that I become a Green Lantern, so I can travel the universe and fight evil and all that jazz. Yeah, sounds dorkish, but that's my wildest dream ever.

Hey Splintered, thanks so much for posting this - very inspirational. My wildest dream would be to sing the lead soprano part in some very famous opera like "La Traviata" in the opera in New York or some other place like that... That'd be awesome. :D

I wanted to comment about what you said regarding your love being 2,500 miles away:

In the 1400's, Explorers would leave their wives for two years, sailing for what most of the population thought at the time was a one way trip to the edge of the world. Yet they kept the home fires burning and the hearts warm for their spouses return. If they did it back then without email and the internet and telephones, it should be easier now to keep love alive.

:)

Humanepain, that is an EXCELLENT point...damn.

Oh there's a couple wild dreams I have. One is to find a home as an integral player on Broadway, the other is to move to Germany and start a life there doing....anything.

Truly inspiring, Splintered. Beautiful.

I have been having bad situations for a while now (though they were not as bad as yours, I must admit), and they are finally going away. So trust me, it's a wonderful attitude to have. Things do improve if you try hard enough.

My dream is to go to a far away place and live there... some place where it's rainy and the skies are grey... Probably Ireland or Germany or something like that. I wouldn't dare go in a viking ship made by myself though... I'm so clumsy it'll probably sink halfway ^_^U

Great story. And it is truely inspiring.

I can relate to a few things you've mentioned and, though I always feel like things will get better, this is helping seal the deal that they will.

I'd say my dream would be to perform in a deathrock band that people love and know. To play Drop Dead Festivals and open for bands I love. I live for music, but I'm very self-indulgent when it comes to it. Thats something I have to work on. Other than that, I'd like to live in a nice apartment with the one I love and see the people who are closest to me every day and travel to places I've always wanted to see.

There can be a good aspect to every bad turn life deals you. This is proof of that.

My dream is to one day own and captain my own ship. An 18th century galleon would be ideal, but I'll take anything seaworthy as long as I can hoist a Jolly Roger on its mast and have a few cannons on the side.

And with that ship I'd sail the world sinking commercial whaling vessels, and bring an end to modern whaling bullshit. With me on those oceans whales will be safe.

I also want to become a veterinarian or surgeon. And sing in a deathrock band.

And save Orangutans, Bonobos, Chimpanzees and Gorillas from extinction.

And travel to every country on earth.

And write a comedy sitcom.

And rule the world.

And learn to surf.

And... yeah.

Err...good luck with that....

I have a dream, which is giant, and big, and has actually scared some people, all I want to do is simply change the world, change the entire world, on a global level, for the better. I don't even know what yet, but I just woke up one day from a dream I can't remember, thinking that I should leave earth better than I found it. I don't even care if no one knew I did it, or if I died in the process, as long the world got better because of it.

And do the entire thing without hurting or stepping on a single person, friend or enemy.

Small dreams eh...