Oh boy!
 

I make great threads!

Duckie, someone's going to kill you one of these days, and I'm certainly not defending you.

HIGH FIVE!!!

OK, OK, I'll make a subject. This thread shall henceforth be about burning stuff.

When I was a kid, I used to burn my hair.

I now have very short hair, by the way.

No connection though.

I swear.

I accidentally burn my beard every time I go to light a cigarette.

I have a bad ass beard.

I don't have that problem, because

A. I'm a female
B. I don't smoke

I know lots of chicks with beards.

Granted they're all 70 + and gypsies...

That's rather ......interesting.

Where in the hells do you live Duck?

Behind a keyboard.

Burning stuff:
Oh god.
I lit my friend's bed on fire...and bathtub...and walls...my carpet has tons of scortch marks, and my blankets are prectically non-existant.

I drew the Tree Of Life on my friends bed, once. The Judaic one, not the other one...

My husband caught the stove on fire a couple of weeks ago. It scared the shit out of me, but we got it taken care of. Our home was so smokey that we had to open the doors, turn on the fans, and go outside for awhile. The smoke alarms even went off. It still reaked of smoke for a couple of days.

My Dad does that the whole time...

I blew up the oven while baking cookies once. x: There wasn't a fire though, just lots of sparks.

I accidentally set the bathroom rug on fire during a Christmas party.

My friends used to bring their school rule books to my house and we'd burn them in my backyard.

I've also caught a paper plate on fire in Home Ec.

And, while making a tail for my Spider-man pony custom, I burned my finger trying to melt the plastic together.

Me and a mate were at my Moms place before I was kicked out, and we'd just finished making this MASSIVE steam bong. So we stick it on the floor, heat it up and get high. Next day I pick it up, and the heat has melted the carpet and fused it to the floor.

I was making candles, and something that remains unidentified but is apparently quite flammable fell into the pot of hot wax on the stove top during the two seconds I had my back turned. Oh my. I got it into the sink and under the faucet to put it out, no injuries or anything. But the varnish on the underside of the cabinets above the sink basically just melted away, there is still soot on the ceiling, and the smoke alarm went off which scared the crap out of me lol. I called my dad, "Ok, so, the fire's out now, but--" He freaked out, thought I burned the place down or something.

7th grade history class, I sat next to this dude, you know the type, actually quite smart but incredibly lazy and would rather just screw around and flunk out. He stuck a paper clip in the electrical outlet. I happened to look over just as he did it and holy crap, it was hilarious. There was this slight whooshing noise, and I just remember that the wall was covered in soot, there were a few sparks trying desperately to send the carpet up in flames, and the dude had no hair on his knuckles anymore. And the best part? The teacher never noticed a thing, and that woman has eyes like a hawk.

Every time I cook hamburgers on the stove I set off every fucking smoke alarm in the building.

...Do the hamburgers have a tendency to ignite or is the smoke alarm just wacky?

I hate the word wacky.

But it rhymes so well with quacky! Won't you reconsider?

No. Unless you give me the newest BugBrand Audio Weevil when it comes out.

I managed to burn a Hard Drive.

They smell funny when burning.
I also set fire to muffin wrappers, which a friend proceded to roll up and smoke.

It tasted chocolaty, with a hint of smoke.

One day in sixth grade I tried to plug something into an outlet and all of a sudden *poof* and there was black soot everywhere. They never bothered to replace that outlet, by the way. I returned to that school to visit last year and the outlet was still there, covered in black stuff and obviously unable to be used.

Oh, and the smell was awful.

The CPU for the old computer has a screwy power button, it'd get stuck sometimes and you wouldn't notice until the system went bananas and shut itself down. Once, when I was using it, it stuck quite badly without me noticing, to the point where the CPU overheated and blew up. It popped it's casing and there was smoke and melty stuff everywhere :S

Tha Duckman, why are you amking so many pointless threads? Are you trying to become a Andrew Eldritch? Or maybe boredom?