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-   -   i have a problem care to help? (https://www.gothic.net/boards/showthread.php?t=7188)

james"bloody tears" 08-31-2007 08:25 PM

i have a problem care to help?
 
ok i said this in the guilty or innocent thread, but now im asking if any one can give me ideas on how to.....help, for lack of a better word.

i have a serous problem when it comes to giving my wife space, i love to cuddle, im a touchy freely person i cant help it. it bugs her especaily since shes pregnant.

i guess what im asking is does anyone have any advice?

Ishkabibble 08-31-2007 10:43 PM

Well, I can't really give any good advice other than to stop doing it for a while. I guess she's going to miss it..

:3

prophecyofdoom 08-31-2007 10:48 PM

Tell her you'll back off, but you'd like to be able to be close to her at certian times. Talk to your wife and find out under what circumstances she welcomes touching and cuddling, and under which circumstanses she dosen't. I, for one, love cuddling in bed, or while watching TV, or during a quiet evening alone, yet I hate to have someone hanging all over me, say, while I'm trying to cook dinner, or socalize with friends. If your wife liked the closeness before she became pregnant, perhaps she just feels ill a lot, and dosen't want to vomit all over you.... Work out some sort of compromise. A pregnant woman can feel uncomfortably heavy, and find it hard to breathe.... The body requires more oxygen, and you find yourself short of breath and kind of feel like you're suffocating. Say, assure her you'll stop groping her swollen body, if you can hold hands or something.

delicti 09-01-2007 05:34 AM

Instead of trying to change the behavior directly, you may want to spend an hour a day at a gym, doing a hobby, etc. You really don't want to cut out the behavior entirely (nor does your wife probably), but she'll probably appreciate it if you give her a little bit of a break.

If you want to still display your affection for her using that hour a day, do something she'll appreciate. Paint & prepare the room for the coming baby, fix up the house, prepare a fancy dinner, or make her something crafty. That way you can still show her how you feel, but it won't be so in her face.

Beneath the Shadows 09-01-2007 05:37 AM

Find a video game that you like. Then play it a lot.

Also, let your wife know what you're doing, and why, so that she doesn't get all worried.

james"bloody tears" 09-01-2007 11:44 AM

thanks guys im gratefull for the help. and so is she

Porphyria 09-01-2007 03:52 PM

I'm normally pretty cuddly, but I HATE being clung to when I'm pregnant. It's especially bad in the first trimester becasue 1.)you feel sick all the time and 2.)the sudden shift in hormones makes you especially irritable. Plus, it's really hard to feel sexy or cuddly when you're bloated, nauseous and exhausted. It's nothing personal and she'll most likely feel better in a few weeks.

If you must touch, ask your wife if she minds if you hold her hand or just let her put her legs across your lap when you're on the sofa together. You might also consider offering no-strings-attached back massages. Don't massage her feet, though... even if she asks you to. There are pressure points in feet that can trigger contractions and lead to miscarriage early in pregnancy.

james"bloody tears" 09-01-2007 09:21 PM

thanks for the warning. she lets my lay my head on her lap and pets me so i think ill be ok with the no cuddle time.

wich is solves one problem i have about her being prego.


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