Proof of God
 

The following is an actual question given on a University of
Washington chemistry mid term.
The answer by one student was so 'profound', that the professor
shared
it with his colleagues via the Internet, which is, of course, why we
now
have the pleasure of enjoying it as well:

Bonus Question: Is Hell exothermic (gives off heat) or endothermic (absorbs heat)?
Most of the students wrote proofs of their beliefs using Boyle's Law

(gas cools when it expands and heats when it is compressed) or some variant.

One student, however, wrote the following:

First, we need to know how the mass of Hell is changing in time. So we
need to know the rate at which souls are moving into Hell and the
rate at which they are leaving I think that we can safely assume that once
a soul gets to Hell, it will not leave. Therefore, no souls are
leaving.
As for how many souls are entering Hell, let's look at the different

religions that exist in the world today.
Most of these religions state that if you are not a member of their
religion, you will go to Hell. Since there is more than one of these

religions and since people do not belong to more than one religion,
we
can project that all souls go to Hell. With birth and death rates as

they are, we can expect the number of souls in Hell to increase
exponentially. Now, we look at the rate of change of the volume in
Hell
because Boyle's Law states that in order for the temperature and
pressure in Hell to stay the same, the volume of Hell has to expand
proportionately as souls are added.

This gives two possibilities:

1. If Hell is expanding at a slower rate than the rate at which
souls
enter Hell, then the temperature and pressure in Hell will increase
until all Hell breaks loose.

2. If Hell is expanding at a rate faster than the increase of souls
in
Hell, then the temperature and pressure will drop until Hell freezes over.

So which is it?

If we accept the postulate given to me by Teresa during my Freshman
year
that, 'It will be a cold day in Hell before I sleep with you,' and
take
into account the fact that I slept with her last night, then number
two
must be true, and thus I am sure that Hell is exothermic and has
already
frozen over. The corollary of this theory is that since Hell has
frozen
over, it follows that it is not accepting any more souls and is
therefore, extinct......leaving only Heaven, thereby proving the
existence of a divine being which explains why, last night, Teresa
kept
shouting 'Oh my God.'


THIS STUDENT RECEIVED AN A+.

Hmm - I've seen e-mail versions of this story - it's pretty funny.

Hahahah
Wow

Awesome....

Niiiiceee..... :D

Old, but still hi-LAR-ious!

LOL!!! OMG he got an A+ for that? That looks like 100% bullshit. May we all produce bullshit good enough to get that type of grade. :P

-_- *sigh*

I think this kid should have gotten an A++!
Bet the teacher didn't expect that kind of answer!
lol!
Funniest story I've heard in weeks

A++ is not high enough a grade for that kid. Fucking. Brilliant!

Unfortunately, while the whole thing still is bastardly funny, it's utterly flawed. I let you guys figure that one out for yourself though.

I remember reading that years ago... still love it, though.
I think it's had a rewrite since I read it, though, I seem to remember the heat exchange theories being written in differently.

Still this kid is just awsome

Would you guys believe me if I told you I was the student who wrote that?

How will you prove it?

I won't have to, I just need to brainwash everyone.

First time I read this, but funny as hell. Anyways, if hell does exist it is not necessarily a physical location...

Sadly, this fellow and Descartes seem to have suffered from a belief bias.

...lol xD...

Yeah "Hell" is actually a misinterpreted part of Revelations, refering to the lava cravas that the bad people are thrown in to. However, now people have new intell on the incident, so fewer people believe in Hell. Now Hell is getting smaller, but fewer people are going there.

Therefore, I believe that Hell is growing smaller at a slower rate than people are going there. So Hell will break loose.

I just applied to the University of Washington. Heh.

Well, he DID specifically refer to a definition of Boyle's law, and since most people answered using a recitation of said law, he's proven that without the fun story he still could've answered the question correctly... I'm going to have to try to incorporate an anecdote with all of my answers now, during finals week next week.

But do souls have mass?

Wow, a lot of you guys are happy about this shit? Psht.

No one asked you :)