My Poetry
 

Can someone tell me what they think of these poems I just recently wrote? I know there are spelling mistakes in here......I will edit soon lol.

Puppet Master

Honor your plastic crown One'
Obey thou orders and win thy way
The strings are only a helping hand
Drink my faith like cheap wine
Do not fear One', I am nowhere in sight
Buried under such undermining egoism
You stand in awe
Cry my child, I will be sure to make note of it
Wear this white cape with indulgence, do not forget the provider of course
Cherish my existence and pass it along,
You are my light of convenience, I am the only one
Never doubt me, that jewel will quickly fade
My naive matter, praise I.....do not forget
One'


Praise You

So relucent, my precious rose
So delicate, I feel you
Beautiful whore, I've uncovered your hidden tracks
Foreign seeds drip down from your pleasure-seeking fangs,
So soft, I want you so
I cannot help but admire you're villainous ways,
Shall I violate your only harmony?
Inhale this darkness, I will never tempt to breathe out you're secretes
Fall off my cliff, I will be sure to fly way with you
How you reek of wine, how you taste of bitter salt
Such invading misery, win my heart.
Mutilate me..
Murder my existence...
Away with this pocket-sized world
Oh how I envy your gruesome ways, bottle me up...
Take me with you, you're ego floats amongst the stars
Does my physical appearance bore you?
I do apologize, but I cannot change.
Forever I cherish you,
Such complements, so undermining
I will always lurk amongst you're every wicked thought
You are truly a God I praise
Your reflection is staring back in such domineering vain.
I praise.


Meaningful

They say how long?
I say forever....
Time, a sickness
Give in....you're going blind
I understand you're faith
Black
Open it, feel the meaning
Again
Torn and tattered, you're soul lays flat
Confused yet? This is just the beginning love
Jump you're highest...reach for the cause
Fall back down
Again
Lost without a trace
Loosing faith...
Found a purpose you claim?
Don't be selfish, hold out and give a little
Was it rocky? I bet
Leaving so soon? I will be sure to miss.
Love.


Silence

Silence, I cannot breathe you any longer
For which I lay impaled by this grey matter I cannot speak of

Secreting this torment will only bury me deeper,
My lips remain unopened for I will not speak any names

This agonizing memory, tears drop in vain
Such a painful loss of harmony, I cannot sustain

Sealed by misfortune, I stand like a stone
My remaining laughter has faded, forever I shall sleep alone

My cries of resisting tranquility, all that remains is covered in black
I have survived these feelings, but all that was once beautiful will never return back

He has passed on, but echoes still lurk
No more fear for silence has escaped

I stand unarticulated, still muted by the past,
Nothing will take me.....nothing will last.

Personally, I do like your poetry...But I have to say, You should've posted this in the Poetry thread...

How many fucking times do people have to be so fucking ignorant/narcissistic, that they create a thread for their very own poetry, completely oblivious to the fucking thread titled "A Thread of Poetry ( Only Post Poetry HERE!! )"

What on earth could this riddle mean?

Wait... wait... could it possibly be that no one wants this forum to become over-cluttered with poetry threads that, regardless of the quality of rhyme or metre, make it difficult to sort through any content?!

I realize you're a n00b, and I also find that your poetry has some merit, but next time, try to indulge in reading the stickied threads before posting all willy-nilly.

Jesus Christ.....who shoved a broom up your ass? I didn't notice the directory until I posted. Sue me for making a suce a HUGE mistake.

Oh, shut the fuck up. Deal with it.

Personally, I think those poems suck.

I think fried mullet is a chick...and she slapped me :(

You've got to be kidding me. What can I possibly say to gain acceptance from everyone on this damn forum? Maybe my poetry sucks because you don't have the IQ nor will to understand it. And by the way, I am a girl.

Big fucking whoop you're a girl.

My IQ is just fine. Maybe your poetry sucks because it's lame and shallow. Sorry to be the bearer of bad news.

Maybe I just don't understand your pain. You should go back to listening to Evanescense in the dark and crying. That's pretty goth too.

May I ask, why does my poetry come across as shallow? I do know that everyone interprets poetry differently........but you are the first to label it as "shallow and lame." I will leave it at that.

I apologize if I offended any of you, but come one. Apply some logic, does this really require so much pessimism because I overlooked a topic thread? Yes, a mistake that could have been prevented if I paid more close attention to what I was doing. All I asked was what you people thought of my poetry. Hmmm.

Alright, smarty. Here comes the clue train.

Was there any introduction at all? As of now, you've got 14 posts to your name and all but three of them are about your poetry.

Now none of us here really "knows" any of the others (with a few exceptions. Go Al and Eyes!), but we have all developed a certain kind of relationship. Whe know of each other, and what each of us is interested in, and how we feel about certain things, and who we agree with and who we don't. When we're typing, we know who our audience is, so to speak.

Now when someone stops in and posts some poetry out of the blue, without even knowing her audience, we think:

(A) Well, she's looking for validation or appreciation from strangers. She's fishing for compliments and looking to establish a place in the herd. How lame.

or

(B) Well, her poetry has a purposefully misleading or confusing meter but the topics are cliched. She's trying to make fun of us and be clever about it.

So, all fun and games aside, get in there and let us know who you are first. There are tons of interesting places to post opinions in the Literature, Music, and Spooky News threads, if, as I'm guessing, you're a little too grown up to be gabbing about Hot Topic and who you kissed at the Dashboard concert. (Although we welcome young people too.)

Let us know who you are before "Baring your Soul" like that. Basically, it's like getting flashed by a stranger; Amusing for a second... but finally disturbing. It's much more fun to see the naughty bits of someone you know.

And if that isn't clear, we can go back to name calling. I've got a few good ones I haven't used yet.

I never meant to "not" follow the rules, at first, I seen everyone attacking me like wild dogs whenever I posted something......so I just went with my instincts and fired back. Not paying attention to the source of the argument.