Touch
 

You touch me
but you don't touch me
You kiss me, you touch me
I can't touch you

Looking into the mirror
I can't even touch myself
Emptiness is my single status

I'll fuck and I'll fuck
but please, don't touch me


It's crappy, but it describes me perfectly at the moment.

And you are afraid someone perhaps migh touch you? I see a contradiction here.

Well, you *are* an alien sex fiend.

I wouldn't say it is crappy, but a little more symbolism might improve it.
I mean, you are baring your heart and speaking with intensity, but remember: language is the dress of thought; try to use words worthy of the depth of your feelings.

OK, I'll shut up now.

I'm a terrible writer.
And fuck yea it's contradictory, that's just how my sweet ass rolls babeh.

I'd like to see some imagery...perhaps using parts of your body and whether you want them to be touched or not as a way of expressing how you feel.

There's something I like about this poem. I think the repetition works well with the image of the mirror. I even like the contradiction, the inverse meanings. I'd base the whole poem around the mirror. In fact I'd call it The Mirror if I were you.

If there's one criticism, I'd say the repetition and mirror image probably makes it sound more interesting than it really is when you analyse it. But still, enough command of language to do this (unless it was an accidental fluke - I'd like to see more of your stuff so I can decide, and will keep an eye out for it) is more than most people around here can manage so kudos for that. Interesting. I'd change the line "I can't touch you" as it's too obvious and the meaning can be inferred from the rest of the poem anyway but other than that I kind of like the way it sounds.