conversation
 

I almost feel bad posting this but I just find it so hilarious. I've put it in whining because...well...one word, 'babybat'.


If you find it boring, skip to the last half XD. It rocks.

uDUMBLOSERu: Hi. Are you there?
uDUMBLOSERu: i got your thing of off gothic.net
ThwanCondu: oh hi
ThwanCondu: who are you?
uDUMBLOSERu: im nichole...
uDUMBLOSERu: you?
ThwanCondu: Uh, Ritch
ThwanCondu: what's you gothic.net sn?
uDUMBLOSERu: i dont have one
uDUMBLOSERu: is it free? i'll make one
ThwanCondu: so you're just some random person who found me on gothic.net and decided to chat?
uDUMBLOSERu: yeah. is that oka?
ThwanCondu: I suppose
uDUMBLOSERu: okay im making a name now ok
ThwanCondu: ok
ThwanCondu: was I just chosen at random?
uDUMBLOSERu: yeah
uDUMBLOSERu: i guess
uDUMBLOSERu: what should my username be?
ThwanCondu: I don't know
ThwanCondu: piggyfuck
uDUMBLOSERu: umm no
uDUMBLOSERu: i made it
uDUMBLOSERu: imNOTgothicHEHE
ThwanCondu: clever
uDUMBLOSERu: hehe

The next question I ask based on the little discussion I had with that one idiot the other day who thought Dani Filth wrote No Time To Cry.

ThwanCondu: do you know who andrew eldritch is?
uDUMBLOSERu: you?
ThwanCondu: close enough
uDUMBLOSERu: huh?
ThwanCondu: don't worry about it, kiddo
uDUMBLOSERu: i just thought b/c u said ur name was ritch..hehe
uDUMBLOSERu: is it like an author or something?
ThwanCondu: again, clever. Very clever.
ThwanCondu: Well, more of a poet
ThwanCondu: or composer
uDUMBLOSERu: im a stephen king fan
ThwanCondu: good for you
uDUMBLOSERu: yeah...i guess
uDUMBLOSERu: so um...newho...
ThwanCondu: Newho?
uDUMBLOSERu: what kind of music do you like?
ThwanCondu: lots of kinds
ThwanCondu: you?
uDUMBLOSERu: i like some rock, mostly rap tho
ThwanCondu: of course
ThwanCondu: good old rap
ThwanCondu: how old are you?
uDUMBLOSERu: 17
uDUMBLOSERu: you?
ThwanCondu: 18
uDUMBLOSERu: cool cool
ThwanCondu: yep
uDUMBLOSERu: i thought you were going to be some like 40 year old guy
ThwanCondu: age of consent's always good
ThwanCondu: that's flattering
uDUMBLOSERu: yeh
uDUMBLOSERu: are you being a smarta**?
ThwanCondu: what's a smarta?
uDUMBLOSERu: smartass*
ThwanCondu: ah
ThwanCondu: no
uDUMBLOSERu: oh u seem like it
ThwanCondu: you're just dishing out the compliments today, aren't you?
uDUMBLOSERu: umm...no but you are
ThwanCondu: I am?
uDUMBLOSERu: idk...im just making conversation...trying to get to kno you a lil bit
ThwanCondu: Ah. Well I'm an English major, fyi
uDUMBLOSERu: and your 18?
ThwanCondu: ...yeah
uDUMBLOSERu: i want to go to school to be a forensic scientist. science is my thing
ThwanCondu: you like touching the dead bodies 'n' shit?
uDUMBLOSERu: no...just figuring out who did it. crime scenes and stuff. dna & genetics
ThwanCondu: not into necro, eh?
uDUMBLOSERu: what'd that?
ThwanCondu: Necrophilia.
ThwanCondu: fucking bodies
ThwanCondu: that aren't alive
uDUMBLOSERu: ohhh yeha...oh i would love to fuck a dead guy!...sike...jp
ThwanCondu: !!
ThwanCondu: What the fuck did you just say
ThwanCondu: please use real words
uDUMBLOSERu: what?
ThwanCondu: 'sike, jp'
ThwanCondu: this means nothing to me
uDUMBLOSERu: just kidding...just playing
ThwanCondu: But it's good to know there's another necro out there
ThwanCondu: Oooh
ThwanCondu: never mind then
uDUMBLOSERu: your a necro?
ThwanCondu: ...yeah
uDUMBLOSERu: you've fucked a dead person?
ThwanCondu: actually fucking a corpse is difficult. I went down on one once
uDUMBLOSERu: what do you get out of it?
ThwanCondu: ...same thing you I get out of going down on live people
ThwanCondu: It turns me on
ThwanCondu: *thing I
uDUMBLOSERu: wow...never had the opportunity to do anythign sexually witha dead person b4
ThwanCondu: Doesn't happen often
ThwanCondu: I was just lucky my aunt's funeral was in my house
uDUMBLOSERu: it was ur aunt?!?!
ThwanCondu: yeah
uDUMBLOSERu: i think your bullshitting me!
ThwanCondu: think whatever you want, babe
uDUMBLOSERu: that's crazy
ThwanCondu: I can't prove it
ThwanCondu: But it happened, and I'm not going to deny it
uDUMBLOSERu: man...

That is by far and away the strangest conversation I have ever read.

A good chunk of newbies all ask me the same question:

Hey, how do I post a pic????
HELLO!!!
R u There!!!!


Through random IM, that is.

My favourite part was when she thought I was andrew eldritch. haha, oh god I love being alive. And dead on the inside, of course.

A cynic would reply: nothing!!! Still, doing the dead aunt was a great idea.

Most of my random IMs (usually from Yahoo) are from short guys looking to be dominated by a tall woman. My favorite is the guy who says, "What would you do if you found a tiny man in your pocket?" I block him, and a few weeks later he reappears with a new name.

I also get my fair share of complete morons.

cfa_wah: i am from pakistan
cfa_wah: waana chat
tall_one_in_black: ok
cfa_wah: i just log in
cfa_wah: wot u do using online communications
tall_one_in_black: We build websites, produce e-newsletters, create flash animations, all sorts of things
cfa_wah: u ar computer programmer?
tall_one_in_black: no
cfa_wah: wots gothic fashion?
cfa_wah: where r u now?
tall_one_in_black: I am at work
cfa_wah: do help free
cfa_wah: in improving web sites?
cfa_wah: i have one
tall_one_in_black: No, we don't work for free.
cfa_wah: not even any free advice
tall_one_in_black: I'm not a programmer
cfa_wah: wot make u angry on yahoo chatting?
tall_one_in_black: I'm not angry.
cfa_wah: see u soon again
cfa_wah: i think u would be one of my good friend, isn't it
cfa_wah: do u know about Eid Festival
tall_one_in_black: I don't care.
cfa_wah: muslims celebrate after hily month of Fasting
cfa_wah: they send on this occason cards to their frieds
cfa_wah: Should i send u one?
cfa_wah: Should i send u one?
tall_one_in_black: no
cfa_wah: Dontu liketo share happy moments?
tall_one_in_black: I don't know you.
tall_one_in_black: Why are you sending me messages?
cfa_wah: God better knows
tall_one_in_black: Well, I don't have his email address, so I have to ask you.
cfa_wah: He has many maill addresses
cfa_wah: one want ur permission to sent card
cfa_wah: Should i send u one?
cfa_wah: Silent is consider half permission
tall_one_in_black: I already told you no.
tall_one_in_black: I'm sure you have many real friends to send your cards to.
cfa_wah: I always add new friend in list on good occasions
cfa_wah: regardless of anything
cfa_wah: may be one u?
tall_one_in_black: Why are you sending me messages?
tall_one_in_black: Why out of 6 billion people did you choose me?
cfa_wah: when i choose,i dont apply logic
cfa_wah: Should i send u oneEid Card then?
tall_one_in_black: The answer is still NO.
cfa_wah: Card isready
tall_one_in_black: I'm not interested.
cfa_wah: interest change with time
cfa_wah: thesenever remain same
cfa_wah: Waiting for ur happy reply
tall_one_in_black: I am not interested in your card. I am not interested in this conversation. Go celebrate with someone who gives a damn about you.
cfa_wah: Why not with @ this moment
cfa_wah: u dont like to care others feelins
tall_one_in_black: You are a stranger thousands of miles away.
tall_one_in_black: I know nothing about you.
cfa_wah: Eid card is just symbole of expression of Happiness
cfa_wah: It does not require deep introduction
tall_one_in_black: Why are you making such a big deal about this?
tall_one_in_black: Why don't you just randomly email it to someone else?
tall_one_in_black: Maybe 1000 other people!? Spam the whole world!
cfa_wah: why not u one of them
cfa_wah: hi, one one million people
cfa_wah: there , one of thousand
cfa_wah: my card want see u
cfa_wah: I'm not about to fumble I'm not about to fail
cfa_wah: Look forward to hearing from you.
tall_one_in_black: Copying song lyrics isn't going to make me more interested in you.
cfa_wah: good songs could be copied
cfa_wah: I dont wat u to be interested me
cfa_wah: i justwant to send u aHappy Eid Card
cfa_wah: Should i send u now, this long waiting greeting
tall_one_in_black: Just leave me alone!
tall_one_in_black: I don't have time for this crap.
cfa_wah: u get angry?
cfa_wah: I think i should destroy my card then?
tall_one_in_black: Yes, and yourself with it.
*** cfa_wah has been ignored.

I feel your pain....

BlOoDyKisSeS523: hey/
ThwanCondu: who are you?
BlOoDyKisSeS523: https://www.gothic.net/boards/archiv...php/t-939.html
i got your sn offo f there..
ThwanCondu: that doesn't answer my question
BlOoDyKisSeS523: my names abby..
ThwanCondu: hello
ThwanCondu: why did you IM me?
BlOoDyKisSeS523: idk..
BlOoDyKisSeS523: yu got a ymspace?
BlOoDyKisSeS523: myspace*
BlOoDyKisSeS523: srry trying to type wiht a broke nfinger...thats in a little metal thing
ThwanCondu: did you read the conversation with the person in the link?
BlOoDyKisSeS523: ?
ThwanCondu: where you found my sn
ThwanCondu: did you read that conversation I had
BlOoDyKisSeS523: yes
ThwanCondu: were you aware of how I was making fun of the person I was talking to?
ThwanCondu: how old are you?
BlOoDyKisSeS523: no i wasnt and im 15.
ThwanCondu: ah
BlOoDyKisSeS523: ?..
ThwanCondu: that sort of explains it then
ThwanCondu: I was making fun of the random IMing, and her inability to spell
ThwanCondu: which irritates me
ThwanCondu: just so you know
BlOoDyKisSeS523: oh. i only read the first part.
ThwanCondu: ah
ThwanCondu: I suggest you quickly read the rest
BlOoDyKisSeS523: why?
ThwanCondu: so you know what to do in order to keep me from taking the piss
BlOoDyKisSeS523: ...
ThwanCondu: or you could just go now, y'know, whatever
BlOoDyKisSeS523: what the hell are you talking about
ThwanCondu: What the hell are you talking about? Why the fuck did you IM me, child?
BlOoDyKisSeS523: whatever bye
ThwanCondu: bye bye!

None of my conversations would interest any of you... I'm a boring person :(

There's no need for words...

*sticks sharp pointy pins in*
*throws salt*

:D

I really HATE when people use the word "psyche" like that. I abhor it even more so when they spell it "sike."

Then again, anyone lame enough to say "psyche" isn't going to have a clue how to spell it.

I've never even met anyone that sad before. I had no fucking clue what that girl was babbling about. What I find amazing is that the second kid messaged me after getting my sn off this post...and they completely missed the point. What the fuck is wrong with kids, and why can't they fucking spell?! At least the second one was only fifteen. The seventeen year old had no excuse.

BlOoDyKisSeS523: shit piss fuck cunt cocksucker motherfucker tits fart turd and twat
I fucked your mom
ThwanCondu: :D

Here are a few random quotes from the same conversation. Keep in mind that many of the people I'm speaking to speak Spanish as a first language. That should explain the use of "jajaja" for "ha ha ha," for example.

Me: I'll suck your spine out through your eye socket.
1: iieuu
2: Mmmm eye socket
1: /wtf
2: this chicken tastes like pizza
1: iieuu
Me: Eye sockets are inedible. Their contents and, for lack of better word, wrappings are edible.
1: wrappings?
Me: Skin and all such things.
1: Perfect


Me: I'll tear your spine into bite-sized pieces and beat you to death with it.
1: :D
2: how can you beat me to death with bit sized pieces?
Me: A grapefruit spoon? :D
Me: It's hard.
2: i DIDNT need to know that


1: u saw the thingy
1: jajaja
2: thingy madoo?
1: its pink and it jumping
Me: WTF?
1: jajaja<---
Me: Pink and jumping...
1: yes

Meh, sorry about that. I was reading through my old chat logs.

bahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha h

Necro, brilliant

bahahahahahaha

lovin'it

People randomly message your guys from here? I should sign onto my yahoo more often! I want to fuck with the newbs!

I'm signing on right now!

Aw man, you poor things! It seems everybody on gothic.net gets harassed by these dumbfuck noobs. Except me. *Thank you, "Ignore All Not On Buddy List" Option!!*

Oh God, this is quite scary. Why is the world so full of dipshits?

You can smell the sarcasm. Thanks for the chuckle.

I never get retards on IM, think I'll have to go reinvent myself as a leggy female nympho teenager. Might have to wax the ol' legs first.