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Granted. You don't have allergies.... or a nose. In fact, the whole olfactory part of your brain becomes vestigial. Your freakish appearance leads you to shame and social stigma until you find useful work plunging sewage pipes and scraping them out. This leads to the inspiration for your groundbreaking novella Phantom of the Opera II: The Intermission Emissions, but your inability to successfully submit a draft due to the pervasive stench leads you into a downward spiral of depression and insanity, eventually culminating in a suicide of rather pustulant proportions.
I wish I had already graduated.
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The phrase "we (I) (you) simply must---" designates something that need not be done. "That goes without saying" is a red warning. "Of course" means you had best check it yourself. These small-change cliches and others like them, when read correctly, are reliable channel markers.
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