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Dark_Phoenix · 05-30-2006, 04:52 PM

I really hope I'm posting this in the right place and I'll try to keep this breif and have it make sense:

I have four friends that I used to be very close to, almost close to considering them family. Recently though, as my high school years drew to a close (Friend A is still in high school, graduating this June, Friend B graduated early last year and Friend C dropped out, got her GED and is now in community college) tension has arisen and I haven't a clue as to why.

It all started about a month ago when I decided to stop going by my first name and to have people instead call me by my middle name. I wanted a more mature name and my middle name was perfect. I shared this fact with my friends and they were angry that I was going by my middle name. They said "We don't know Ann, but we know Brittney." and that it made them feel uncomfortable and that I should still go by my first name because it was easier for them. Friend C and I got into an argument later on over the name deal and she started to insult me by calling me childish, naieve, self righteous, and too prideful. I decided not to talk to her for three days to cool off but she increasingly grew angrier that I wanted to cool off and not talk to her which surely would have just been more yelling.

We finally got around to talking and she still insulted me. I told her to stop it but she continued. We finally worked it out and I thought that was the end of it. I was wrong. Two weeks after that Friends B and C and I were talking and Friend C was planning to go on to American Idol next year and wanted us all to be there. While everyone was so quick to promise her they'd be there, I remained honest and told her that I might be there because none of us knows where we'll be a year from now. My major reasons were family, work and school. I said if I could be there I would be, but that **** happens and I don't want to promise something I might not be able to fufill. Suddenly they were enraged and called me unloyal to them and that I should place them above schooling. They said they put me about schooling so I should do the same, but I'd never ask them to do that because that would be asking them to put me above their future.

I did apologize that I shouldn't have said that and should have immediately promised to be there (though I did not feel that way on the inside) to keep the peace. They forgave me and for awhile none of us had been able to truly talk because of school and work. Then yesterday Friend C got online and and was angry with me still even though I had apologized. She began in on calling me childish, etc and I tried to get her to calm down, but she kept bringing up past things that I did that pissed her off that I had apologized for (and they were severely petty and not on the same wave length of things that she had done to me over the 4 years we've known eachother). She said she forgave me and she won't forget what I did but it appears she hasn't forgiven me. Finally after the final time of trying to get her to calm down and talk to me rationally and I asked her if anything else was bothering her, she just signed off saying she was sick of talking to me.

I then decided I wasn't going to do a run around and decided to stop being her friend. Friend A and B are not happy with the choice I made but Friend A seems to able to handle it. Friend B wants me to go back and befriend C because the arguing is hurting him and A. It doesn't count that C makes me unhappy but its how they feel.

Now B is mad at me because I have made my bed and decided to lay in it and not try to salvage a harmful relationship and not truly consider his and A's feelings when its me in the end who is affected by it.

Did I make the right choice by walking away and considering my feelings above those who say they care for me, but want me to stay in a damaging friendship? I have to stay with Friend A and B for 9 days in Japan, so up and leaving them right now is a no go, but after coming back from Japan, what do I do? How do I leave them or at least try to get them to see that "Hey, not everything is about you, and sometimes its not wrong think for and about yourself over your friends!" ?

05-30-2006, 04:52 PM	#1
Dark_Phoenix Join Date: May 2006 Posts: 2	Friends, Am I doing the right thing? I really hope I'm posting this in the right place and I'll try to keep this breif and have it make sense: I have four friends that I used to be very close to, almost close to considering them family. Recently though, as my high school years drew to a close (Friend A is still in high school, graduating this June, Friend B graduated early last year and Friend C dropped out, got her GED and is now in community college) tension has arisen and I haven't a clue as to why. It all started about a month ago when I decided to stop going by my first name and to have people instead call me by my middle name. I wanted a more mature name and my middle name was perfect. I shared this fact with my friends and they were angry that I was going by my middle name. They said "We don't know Ann, but we know Brittney." and that it made them feel uncomfortable and that I should still go by my first name because it was easier for them. Friend C and I got into an argument later on over the name deal and she started to insult me by calling me childish, naieve, self righteous, and too prideful. I decided not to talk to her for three days to cool off but she increasingly grew angrier that I wanted to cool off and not talk to her which surely would have just been more yelling. We finally got around to talking and she still insulted me. I told her to stop it but she continued. We finally worked it out and I thought that was the end of it. I was wrong. Two weeks after that Friends B and C and I were talking and Friend C was planning to go on to American Idol next year and wanted us all to be there. While everyone was so quick to promise her they'd be there, I remained honest and told her that I might be there because none of us knows where we'll be a year from now. My major reasons were family, work and school. I said if I could be there I would be, but that **** happens and I don't want to promise something I might not be able to fufill. Suddenly they were enraged and called me unloyal to them and that I should place them above schooling. They said they put me about schooling so I should do the same, but I'd never ask them to do that because that would be asking them to put me above their future. I did apologize that I shouldn't have said that and should have immediately promised to be there (though I did not feel that way on the inside) to keep the peace. They forgave me and for awhile none of us had been able to truly talk because of school and work. Then yesterday Friend C got online and and was angry with me still even though I had apologized. She began in on calling me childish, etc and I tried to get her to calm down, but she kept bringing up past things that I did that pissed her off that I had apologized for (and they were severely petty and not on the same wave length of things that she had done to me over the 4 years we've known eachother). She said she forgave me and she won't forget what I did but it appears she hasn't forgiven me. Finally after the final time of trying to get her to calm down and talk to me rationally and I asked her if anything else was bothering her, she just signed off saying she was sick of talking to me. I then decided I wasn't going to do a run around and decided to stop being her friend. Friend A and B are not happy with the choice I made but Friend A seems to able to handle it. Friend B wants me to go back and befriend C because the arguing is hurting him and A. It doesn't count that C makes me unhappy but its how they feel. Now B is mad at me because I have made my bed and decided to lay in it and not try to salvage a harmful relationship and not truly consider his and A's feelings when its me in the end who is affected by it. Did I make the right choice by walking away and considering my feelings above those who say they care for me, but want me to stay in a damaging friendship? I have to stay with Friend A and B for 9 days in Japan, so up and leaving them right now is a no go, but after coming back from Japan, what do I do? How do I leave them or at least try to get them to see that "Hey, not everything is about you, and sometimes its not wrong think for and about yourself over your friends!" ?