[Godslayer Jillian]

I have never felt more suicidal in my entire life.
I know shit happens, but it shouldn't happen all at once.
The members that were banned or just went away, people I thought of as family, people I looked up to, hate me. And they won't tell me why. I find no way to contact them, and the sole response I once got from Geisha was nothing but insults.
On my own city, three people are dead serious about wanting to kill me (one of them because he thinks I'm gay) and many others would want to see me die.
A "friend" of mine for two years already has been talking shit about me behind my back.
The girl that thinks of me as her best friend (the feeling is not reciprocal) treats me like shit and constantly gets mad at me for not believing in her god.
The girl I like is the girlfriend of one of the most despicable people I have seen. One of the ones that verily much would like to see me dead. One that does nothing but insult me and make fun of the fact that he has the girl I believe to love.
On top of everything, there seems to be a rumor about me which makes me look like a sick pervert. I've never even fucking kissed a woman!!! How the shit can they believe such a rumor???