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You know, I've been in the same situation for years. Luckily I've never lived in a place that has winter though, so I haven't needed one (though I did just come back from a 3 week holiday in -8˚ weather). I've had no luck at all in finding a coat that isn't too big for me and doesn't make my waist disappear. I mean why is it that hard for coat makers to just taper in the waist just a few more inches?! They'd use less material...
My only advice is keep scouring every reasonable shop you can find. You'll have to find the perfect coat eventually.
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