That's a captivating story. :P Hurry up and post the next so I can read it.
*twitches*
However, there are some extraneous commas, and some comma splices.
One comma splice example would be, "I had drifted between jobs,
but never stayed long, I just lost interest." The two clauses would do well by being separated by a semi-colon (READ UP ON SEMICOLONS IF YOU DON"T KNOW HOW TO USE THEM) or a conjunction like "because." The other thing you could do to that sentence would be to put it in the present tense. "I drift between jobs but never stay long; I just lose interest."
Or you could combine your first and second paragraphs. To tell you the truth, the opening is a little awkward. Explain how the character is in a stretch between jobs, then explain why. Then say where he is, blah blah blah.
"Nodding, we proceeded back to the deceased, and carefully rolled the casket to a concrete ramp that led to the rear of the basement" has an extraneous comma. Commas are not usually needed before words like "and" or "but" or "so."
Words like "reddish" could be replaced or modified with something more specific and vivid. What kind of red is it? Is it a vermillion red (brilliant and pure red, but warm)? or crimson (cool red, has more blue than orange)? or cadmium (orange red.)? Or is there a different word for the kind of red it is that fits better with the language of the story, or is more understandable to the reader?
Pay attention to vocabulary: don't use plain words for extraordinary things.
Do you have a grammar guide too? Not that you SERIOUSLY need it (trust me, I've seen worse). If you're serious enough about writing, you may want to spend about 15$ on a writer's guide. I got one for English last year, and it was quite useful. Mine is more geared toward essays, but I'm certain there are ones for fiction/stories.
And remember what every writer should: Edit the fuck out of it, then get a few others to edit it, then edit it some more.
Great story. Can't wait to see how it turns out.
*grumbles about cliff-hangers*