Quote:
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Originally Posted by Perfectly_Flawed
*throws OTFW a cushion and a gun*
Cheer up. Take your frustration out on the poor, defenseless cushion.
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perfectly, the thought of me being in possession of a gun while in my recent/current emotional state is a very scary thing. consider this a warning to all pillows.....among other things.
i'm tired. i'm tired of only being able to
finally crawl into bed when i reach the point of complete exhaustion & utter delirium. and even then, tossing & turning for the couple of hours i'm horizontal. i'm tired of my head pounding. i'm tired of my current record for "longest length of time without crying" being only about 20 minutes or so. i'm tired of feeling like i can no longer function as (at least) a semi-competent human being, much less one of the female variety. i'm tired of feeling so inconsequential. i'm tired of feeling that NOT ONE word i say matters. i'm tired of knowing that everything i built my whole world around for pretty much my ENTIRE adult life wasn't real & has absolutely no meaning any more....at least not in a
positive way. i'm tired of feeling less desireable than the plague. i'm tired of feeling about as womanly as max klinger. i'm tired of people telling me that i just need to get laid & THAT will somehow magically make everything better. i'm tired of being told that all of this is happening for a reason, what doesn't kill me will make me stronger, i'm not going to be given any more than i can handle, or any of the many variations i've heard thusfar. i'm tired of being lied to. i'm tired of hoping, wishing, praying, and dreaming. i'm tired of pretending. i'm tired of fucking things up. i'm tired. tired. just so very tired.