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An Irishman walks up to his friend and says "I think my knuckles are going to bruise."
His mate looks at his hand, which shows no signs of bruising yet, and asks "Why do you think your knuckles are going to bruise?"
"Because I had to hit that English bastard six times in the face before he stopped saying that the Irish were violent."
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What do you get when you cross a Scot and an Irishman?
Nothing mate, because the doctors say that you don't know I'm here anyway.
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