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Catch · 05-16-2008, 10:47 AM

I don't know. I like your story, but there needs to be something at the beginning to cause interest. By the time it gets down to the cemetary and shots fired, I'm only kind of reading it, so there needs to be an impression made in the first two paragraphs, other than cute story about kids from a mommy.

05-16-2008, 10:47 AM	#3
Catch Join Date: Jan 2006 Location: Bliss Posts: 4,374	I don't know. I like your story, but there needs to be something at the beginning to cause interest. By the time it gets down to the cemetary and shots fired, I'm only kind of reading it, so there needs to be an impression made in the first two paragraphs, other than cute story about kids from a mommy. __________________ I Like Cheese!