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Your writing is solid, but I agree with Catch about the opening. I'm especially lazy about reading online - if a story doesn't draw me in from the first paragraph, I drift off. Set the scene, but find a way to get the kids into the cemetery sooner - maybe start with the strange noise in the den. Pacing means taking out everything that isn't 'story' no matter how much you love it. The dialog is great, but choppy at times. For example, the word 'subliminal' jars with the kids' natural banter and you might want to simplify it a bit.
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