[Delkaetre]

I'm tired. I'm just so tired.
Of all this. Of the bickering, the childishness, the politics.
This site, the people around me. The idle sniping and unpleasantness. The monotony of every day, each breath taking us closer to the end.
I'm so tired.
I'm not giving up. I'm scared to. I can't quit things, because I'll feel everyone's disappointment and know that I gave up when I could have worked harder. But I feel no energy, nothing to carry me forward and let me create my own path. There's nothing worth it.
This planet is poisoned and the people are tainted. There is nothing that's truly beautiful any more, everything is infected with death and disease and criticism and I know, oh I know that I add to it.
But I can't help it. I'm trapped in this same rut as the rest of you, you poisonous people.
And I'm just so tired.

I don't want your 'it's not so bad' responses, or your 'get some perspective' comments, or your sympathy or your pity or your distaste. Because I know it's there already. I know how you react. None of you are original any more, none of you offer me anything new or beautiful. Those that did are fading, old memories like pressed, dead flowers. There are no roses, blooming bright and alive. Just dried up memories.