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Originally Posted by Delkaetre
I'm tired. I'm just so tired.
Of all this. Of the bickering, the childishness, the politics.
This site, the people around me. The idle sniping and unpleasantness. The monotony of every day, each breath taking us closer to the end.
I'm so tired.
I'm not giving up. I'm scared to. I can't quit things, because I'll feel everyone's disappointment and know that I gave up when I could have worked harder. But I feel no energy, nothing to carry me forward and let me create my own path. There's nothing worth it.
This planet is poisoned and the people are tainted. There is nothing that's truly beautiful any more, everything is infected with death and disease and criticism and I know, oh I know that I add to it.
But I can't help it. I'm trapped in this same rut as the rest of you, you poisonous people.
And I'm just so tired.
I don't want your 'it's not so bad' responses, or your 'get some perspective' comments, or your sympathy or your pity or your distaste. Because I know it's there already. I know how you react. None of you are original any more, none of you offer me anything new or beautiful. Those that did are fading, old memories like pressed, dead flowers. There are no roses, blooming bright and alive. Just dried up memories.
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I have come to the same conclusion after 52 years of observation of this planet, and it doesn't get any better. So in my humble opinion I may as well spend time with others who feel the same bloody way, except that one up competition and sniping gets in the way of a perfectly gloomy melancholy.
BUT...as far as your comment: "There is nothing that's truly beautiful any more", I just look at my grandson and I see beauty. I tremble in fear of the world he will grow into , and of what may become of him, but for now, his smile and the smiles of other children are beautiful.
But the rest of the world sucks.