I'm really sorry, but I have to be blatantly honest. This sucks. I usually write songs, you know, I've actually partially learned how to do this when I was studying music. You lack a good rhythm. And the end rhymes just sound tacky. In a song, you don't need to have everything rhyme (and anyway, avoiding AABB type rhymes is always a good idea - it often sounds better when it's for instance ABAB or even ABCABC). If you write a song, you'll have to think about the fact that it is not goingto end up as a literary work, but as a musical composition.
I'm being this honest not to be a bitch but because I've been there myself. Nobody told me until I'd made an utter fool of myself, and when I found out, that really hurt. So do yourself a favour - learn a bit about music if you haven't done so already, and take a look at songwriting sites like
this one (which is a personal favourite of mine, by the way).