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I sit down to do my English assignment.
The phone rings. My brother answers and then tells me to pick up.
I take the phone and hear a very shaky voice... My girlfriend.
My heart starts to beat so incredibly hard I can hear it quite clearly.
FUCK FUCK FUCK.
I say a quick hello and get off the computer, leaving to my room.
We have a brief discussion for about thirty seconds before this:
Me: "So... What made you decide to call me finally..." (Knowing what the answer was)
Her: "Because I need to tell you something..."
Me: "Then say it..." (shaky voice)
Her: "Dan... I think our relationship has come to an end..."
Me: "No. No, Rachel. No."
Her: "You haven't done anything... I'll tell you why but I'm just not feeling up to it at the moment..."
After crying for the past 30 minutes and restraining myself from smashing things or hurting myself, I've decided to post on Gnet to vent a little.
For those of you who don't know, she lives in another state and I visited her in July for my birthday and my family are going there in November again. The plan was for me to see Rachel and my parents to celebrate their wedding anniversary in the place where they had their honeymoon.
She still wants to see me. I still want to see her.
Problem: After seven months of holding her hand wherever we walked, hugging her A LOT, sharing that feeling of your first kiss, along with plenty more... I fail to see her as a friend anymore. She's broken up with me before but we've never lasted as friends.
I love her. A lot.
I have to go to bed. Good night. Already pre-cried myself to sleep.
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Undead.
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