[Pineapple_Juice]

I am that woman. I wish I wasn't. It pisses me off.
I must be incredibly insecure, because I constantly feel like I have reasons to suspect foul play in romantic relationships where no foul play occurs. I hate always feeling like I can never trust my partners because they're going to fuck me over.
For the record, they have always fucked me over, but that's another whining thread.
I don't want to care so much. If my partner is talking to another woman, I don't want to give a flying fuck. Somehow, I do. I feel like I have to investigate the situation in order to be sure that nothing is going on behind my back. Any time he hangs around women I am scared he's doing something with them, building a relationship that's gonna destroy ours. Any time I have to wait an hour our multiple hours for the reply to a text, I begin to worry.

When somethng makes me feel uncomfortable, I never say anything about it because I feel like every situation is probably me being irrational and I don't want to come off as exasperating or extreme, so instead I end up pouting in a grumpy mood and not telling him what the issue really is. The current partner of which I speak has never given me reason to doubt, except the stuff I make up and exaggerate in my own head. It's not fair to him that I act this way, making him pay for past dude's mistakes. This is disgusting, obsessive behavior that needs to end now but I'm not sure how to start.
I'm mentally defective-damaged goods, I say!