Please forgive me if I've miscommunicated again. I certainly don't mean to imply that I think women are superficial. I'm sorry if I came off that way. (And as for giving up on women... Belive me, I love women, for their hearts, minds,
and bodies. In that order, even. I'd give up on breathing first!
)
All I am saying is that I'm not the striking young beau that I used to be. And, of course, the fact that I was formerly married turns some people off.
Essentially, I sometimes miss the days when I had a harder body, more sparkle in my eyes, and fewer wrinkles. I guess it's just my shattered vanity talking. Maybe I miss the carefree lifestyle that I used to live, too. I think I may somehow equate my more youthful looks with the more youthful life that I sometimes miss.
I don't mean for it to sound like I'm puting myself down. All things considered, I'm one cool motherfucker. But I think it's important to remind myself of the negative aspects of me as well as the positive and try to dwell on both equally. Mayhap I, like many (but not all goths) dwell a little too much on mortality and fading youth. And I had a little sobering medical incident this weekend that is, perhaps, weighing me down too, and reminding me that I'm no longer immortal, so to speak.
I mean, fuck... I'm only 29...