[Delkaetre]

I quite like going to the cinema. Comfy seats, no ad breaks, not much chance of someone ringing the doorbell or popping to ask if you want tea and breaking up the film while they also ask if you want biscuits, and how much sugar you take, and so on.
So I have a particular dislike for people who talk loudly during films in movie theatres. Whisper very quietly to your friend if you want to- I quite understand the desire to go "hey, is that the guy from Control?" or "Could you pass me the winegums, please?". But don't actually talk. Not loudly. Don't shout and shriek and giggle unless the film is quite genuinely very scary or very funny, and if it is then please shut up once the bit you laughed at is over and done with.

The reason for this rant- individuals in the back row on Saturday, when my Gent had very kindly paid for tickets to a late showing.
Only two things stopped me from standing up in the movie theatre to shout
"Would you shut the fuck up!" when the back two rows chattered all the way through The Orphan.
1- it would have been rude to the others in the cinema, and I might have accidentally spoken over dialogue, thus further damaging their experience
2- it's not a great neighbourhood, and I didn't want little fuckos with switchblades being tough at me for mouthing off at their noisy bitches.

I did, at the very end, lose it just enough to turn in my seat and say, rather than shout, "look, really sorry, but would you shut up?". This resulted, not in a cessation of their talking (and they hadn't been whispering. The whole damn film they'd been talking, the volume you might at a bar or party, and occasionally shouting, giggling, apparently at random), but in continued conversation. In the bathroom after the film I realised they hadn't identified me, because they were bitching amongst themselves about "the woman who went mental at us" and didn't seem to have noticed the girl with the biker boots and black leather jacket and scowl.

"Mental" implies some kind of violent or extreme response. Not my own polite request. Fucking Crawley's finest ruining my night out with my Gent.

Before anyone says that I should have ignored them, it really wasn't possible. The film has lots of nice, quiet bits with spooky music and tense scenes. This is ruined, absolutely ruined, by harpies shrieking "OOOOOH I DUN LIKE HIM HE INT NICE!!!" and "SHE'S EVIL OOOOH SHE'S GONNA KILL THE LIL GIRL!!!"
No spoilers there, since their predictive ability is... flaky, at best. And if you didn't know the film had a little girl in it, you probably haven't seen any of the posters and may not even have heard of the film.

Bit of bloody consideration for other patrons'd be really nice. Just whisper amongst your goddamn mates instead of broadcasting for the whole damn theatre. You wanna talk, go download it and watch it at home. The rest of us? We came here to watch a movie on a really big screen with a really good sound system, not to listen to you, you giggling, whooping, inbred scum.