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Originally Posted by Kireo-Umoshiae
First, I'd like to say that where I currently live, which is Oklahoma, black has become more of a trend. It might as well be a passing fad. No one really takes it seriously, and most of those that try to are just posers or punks (and I mean punk in a totally harmless way). Then again, who said anyone had to be serious all the time? Why can't a person just wear whatever they feel like wearing without too much judgement? Probably because it's just human nature. I told one of my best friends I realized what a goth actually was, and that I AM a goth. I don't think she really believes me. She's a smart chic. She's not so oblivious to the meaning of goth as most people are. Probably the majority of my highschool thinks that goth directly has something to do with satanism or not believing in God. Idiots right? I knew it wasn't directly that before I had a clue of what goth was. Seriously though most people here aren't goth. A lot of kids are just kind of punk whether they'd call themselves so or not. Though I wonder, if you choose not to call yourself something, than doesn't that mean you aren't because you chose not to be even if it is embedded in you and you continue to be the same? A lot the them just like black; it's their favorite color. Some of them are just drawn to it. Don't ask me why, and trust me I have nothing against them, but I don't really socialize with them; we're kind of in different crowds. I kind of wish I could hang with them because a lot of them seem a lot more mature and intelligent, and they just seem like the kind of crowd I'd like to be with. Don't get me wrong though, I'd never shun my friends. I couldn't, I love them and myself too much. I don't dress in all black (basically because my parents don't want me walking around with them looking like a "freak"). Even if I could though I probably wouldn't wear all black. I used to be really into fashion and still am, though I prefer dressing more punk/goth. I like a lot of colors, but I wouldn't feel right if I didn't throw some black in with it. Considering normally when I buy colorful clothes they don't look very goth or punk (or skater which I also enjoy the look of) at all, but I'm sure with time, money, and practice I could fix that. Black symbolizes the way I feel. I'm very introverted and introspective. I don't seem to fit in well with even my closest friends. The only person who really gets me is my little brother (only two years younger) who prefers to hate me. I'm kind of withdrawn and anti-social, and trust me I don't try to be. I'm very much into the unknown and supernatural and somber or morbid things. I try my best to see art where people only see ugly. Also white feels very negative to me. Like a blank sheet of paper, and the only way I can fill it in is with my black pen (or a pencil if I run out of ink). By the way I do consider myself somewhat of an artist. I like to throw around fun, loud and beautiful, bold colors. I think it moreso suits my very elusive and vibrant imagination. I also feel protected when in black and wearing chains and bracelets, etc. Most of all it just feels right. I almost never regret black. Black is just right, and it does something a color can't do. It's almost unexplainable, but like all great genius it may one day be discovered before the end is near. (Notice "the end" is also something that black represents) I am a Christian and though I find it quite difficult and unagreeable at times, I have nothing against any other religion. More than likely someone of another religion will find my religion hard to tolerate. Especially with so many Christians going around today trying to take away our first amendment which was one of the initial causes of the Constitution I believe. I mean in the Bible God asks you to spread the word, but it's getting so out of hand today people are practically soliciting Christ. I know this post has been way to long. Forgive me.
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