[Apathy's_Child]

I'm not trying to be a dick, but it's mediocre, pretentious and doesn't mean engage my interest at all. This kind of stuff turns me off instantly for its insincerity. It's the same outdated idea of poetry that most people write when they start out. Write about something raw, or a new idea you've been having about absolutely anything, or something otherwise interesting. And use your natural voice, not some pompous tone of words you'd NEVER utter without contrivance.

That's just my opinion, but I'm right. Seriously, just try it once and you'll see - in all honesty, I think you could be a lot better if you dropped the outmoded stuff.