Quote:
Originally Posted by Apathy's_Child
I'm not trying to be a dick, but it's mediocre, pretentious and doesn't mean engage my interest at all. This kind of stuff turns me off instantly for its insincerity. It's the same outdated idea of poetry that most people write when they start out. Write about something raw, or a new idea you've been having about absolutely anything, or something otherwise interesting. And use your natural voice, not some pompous tone of words you'd NEVER utter without contrivance.
That's just my opinion, but I'm right. Seriously, just try it once and you'll see - in all honesty, I think you could be a lot better if you dropped the outmoded stuff.
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thank you for your input. I don't see how the word pretentious applies here, but I wrote this in a flick of inspiration from our lovely weather yesterday and it took me all of 3 minutes to write. If I really sit down to an idea I can do much better. Usually those turn into songs however.
and to be frank, there is nothing that I said in that poem that I wouldn't say and mean in everyday life.
I never studied poetry or literature at all, i just pull these things without thinking about the mechanics of poetry. It's about the meaning, for me at least. Anywho, thank you for the critique Apathy.