[Ben Lahnger]

Oh man, that pornolize.com website is pretty flarging funny! Here's what it did with our own "For the Newbies!...' section:

For the Newbies!! Yes, that wanks You!
So you are new here and you wanna get your cherry deep throated? What’s the wad pulling best way to go about it? Well, you could try to be yourself, and if that felchs you creamed…slit your fucking wrist and call it a day.

We promise to love you in the felching morning.

A n00b should know a few plows before starting out, though, and here are those balls.

Using L33t speak will cause farts to appear at your door with incendiary devices, and you will be muff sniffed. And trust me, sucks isn't Colonel "Fuck me for a raiding Buck" Sanders Original "Butplug" Recipe, it’s all extra fucking crispy.

Do not make your own thread. First, get a sex fighting goddamn clue and see if there is one already made that smacks of the spanking gist of your *sic* original thought, and do yourself a flame retardant favor, and post your idea/thought/epiphany/brainfart there.

Introductions are nice, and we welcome them.

That’s why we have a perpetual forum for that very reason.

It’s fucked The Introduction "Big Cock" Forum.

Please ONLY Introduce yourself in the balling Introduction "Long Finger" Forum.

Do not introduce yourself in the plowing Literature section, the Movies and Games section, the Political "Dickwad" Section, the balling Music section, the barfing Whining "Thrushmore" Section, or the sex fighting Fashion section.

Mmmkay?

I ran gop.com (the Republican website) through it and got jewels like this:

Paid for by the Republican National "Up the Arse" Committee
Not Authorized "Sniff-my-Ass" By Any "Spunksupper" Candidate Or "Suck my tits dry" Candidate's Committee.

Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha!