Thread: Silent Bird
View Single Post
Old 06-09-2010, 03:44 PM   #2
HumanePain
 
Join Date: Aug 2006
Location: the concrete and steel beehive of Southern California
Posts: 7,449
Blog Entries: 4
It has potential, but try free verse instead of rhyming, and use more symbolism.
__________________
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=nKm_wA-WdI4
Charlie Chaplin The Greatest Speech in History


HumanePain is offline   Reply With Quote