[Apathy's_Child]

Originally Posted by TheFeatheredÆtheling

However, the content doesn't necessarily "have nothing to do with our reality" in my opinion. You probably just read it once, and that's completely fine. However, this poem has a second layer of meaning beyond the faerytale that I've explained below in this post. The question is: will people see what it is that I'm really trying to say, or will it come off as a buch of stuffy nonsense? I love works of literature that have multiple layers of meaning as long as they're not too cryptic. This story itself is on the surface archaic as you suggest (I've tried to avoid making it too cliche but still read like a classic faery tale), but I think that the underlying themes and message of the poem could be applicable to many people, even today.

I'm not trying to say that messages shouldn't be communicated through metaphor, imagery and general artistic license taken with concrete reality; this, after all, is essentially what literature IS. I just think that making these devices more relevant to your personal reality, and stripping away such overt imitation of other work, will allow you to find an original voice of your own much more easily.

The problem with the style of poetry you're using it that in a sense, it's kind of like the biblical and fairytale elements it apes: so done to death, that genuine contribution is now difficult. Even revision has been flogged to death. Your options are pretty much limited to iconoclasm or parody (see Snow White Zombie further down in this section for a good example of reworking these themes into something relevant, utilizing a fresh approach).

Short version: I'm of the mind that imitation alone is not a valid contribution to any given style or general body of work. If you can't add to it, maybe it's time to look elsewhere for inspiration.

Originally Posted by TheFeatheredÆtheling

As for my dated writing style, some may appreciate it for its nostalgia (I hope). I know it's not at all in style, but is "rigid" poetry such a bad thing? As an extra limitation, stubborn rigidity in poetry is probably more time-consuming to compose in the long run, but such a poem does have a unique sound that makes it stand out in an era wherein art tends to be quite loose and spontaneous.

I'd say the exact opposite is true - people writing in these dated styles are a dime a dozen. If you like writing in this way, that's cool, but there really is nothing unique about it.

Originally Posted by TheFeatheredÆtheling

For anyone who is curious about what this poem's message is: Many moral and symbolic themes can be found within this poem, but there is one that is paramount. Like so many classical works which I love, this poem contains a Biblical message. It's actually an allegory of a human being's struggle through the "sore travail" known as "life". Darkling (whose name might suggest one who is blind) finds herself in an imperfect, broken world and is tempted by the Devil to give in to bitterness and revenge (sin). The hooded messenger who she meets along the road toward damnation is an angel reminding Darkling that she is on the path of destruction but that the Prince of the land (symbolizing God ~ notice that the pronouns which refer to Him are always capitalized; this is a pretty good hint at Who The Prince is supposed to represent, I think) knows her suffering and seeks to take her to paradise with him if she will turn from her present path.

Tired, man. If you really need to tell that story AGAIN, at least create an interesting concept for the story. There's a Bataille (I think - I read it years ago) story where the protagonist meets a prostitute who turns out to be God - this kind of thing is itself now slightly tired, but it does give an idea of the ways in which such stories can be retold with new twists.

Originally Posted by TheFeatheredÆtheling

I have no way to know how many people this kind of thing will actually appeal to yet, but thank you very much for your insights. I've definitely got some useful feedback so far. Please comment on any of my contributions whenever you want to.

No worries. Thanks for not getting butt-hurt, complaining about rudeness then finishing off with "well literature is subjective anyway, so FUCK OFF"