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in most cases the verbal abuse is worse - the sad thing is that only very rarely do you get the physical abuse without the verbal on top of it all. It's really a horrible thing to think about and there is simply no excusing either.
The strange thing is when the tables are turned and it's the woman abusing the man. I went through that for years with the mother of my boy. In fact at the time I didnt even recognize it as abuse. Only towards the end did it get physical and while she never really damaged me it was still abuse and I just had to take it. What could I do? The police made it clear that if I lifted one finger or raised my voice and she complained about it I'd be the one in jail. I filed a restraining order and lost because she had not caused "lasting physical damage".
The saddest part - addressing Rose's point - is that all of the hurtful verbal shit she spouted at me was always - always - right there in front of the children (she has a daughter now in foster care). It took so long to "normalize" my son after she was gone - and there are still times of regression. Hell I'm only now realizing just how really scarred I was by all of the shit she did. I put all of my focus into the loved ones around me - especially my son that I couldn't see it. I always assumed I was the strong one and was ok but I really was affected by it - in some ways forever.
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