[Fruitbat]

Espoused theory and theory in practice.

I went looking through for some of my university references but I have lost all my work.

Maybe look at some of Edward De Bono's work - maybe something like the six thinking hats (quite a useful experiment).

Thomas Berry is another author but he's on the cosmology/eco-spiritualist path - might be a bit too out there for you at the moment.

Sounds like you have some trauma, which is stopping you from connecting with others - maybe perhaps?

Start journalling. Get your feelings down always helps.