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Emotion-A poem.
My class got cancelled today and it's raining too heavy to bother going out(plus I'm still without a job. Still trying, but not today). So, after going through my flash drive for a bit, I came across some old poems I wrote when I was going through a rough time in my life. I really just wrote them to help understand some of the mess that was going on my head, but after reading them again after so long, I'd forgotten how emotional they were. A lot of my feelings have changed from what I wrote and some were self reflective resulting in an epiphany.
I decided to take a chance and post them here(one a at time for whenever I log in) as a test to myself. To see have much I've grown as a person. I'm just going down list of how they're arranged in my flash drive's folder. I warn you, I have a tendency to write long poems, but I have some shorter ones too.
Anyway, give me some opinions and/or construction criticisms. I can take it.
This one is called Emotion.
They say being able to feel emotions
Is what makes you human
It is encouraged
Because without them
You would be heartless
A lifeless being that is just existing
I feel because I am human
It's what I'm supposed to do
But my emotions have caused me more harm than good
So much that I don't know whether to hate them or love them
When I feel even a little bit of happiness
Allowing myself to hope and even have faith
It is taken away from me
Leaving me with bitter disappointment and disillusionment
When I feel sad or hurt
And decide to show it with my tears
It's seen as being weak
Making those around me take pleasure in hurting me even more
When I feel and show compassion or empathy
Others take advantage of it
Seeing it as yet another sign of weakness
To try and manipulate me for their own benefit
When I feel love; friendship or romantic
It is never returned
I am never good enough
They always find someone better
Sometimes, I think that I'm unlovable
When I feel hate
I am told not to feel it
That it's wrong to hate a person
That your supposed to love everyone
Flaws and all
That's true in some cases
But not all of them
There are just some people
Who are too far gone
To forgive and forget
When I feel anger
I become violent and irrational
So not like myself
I can't be around others when I'm angry
I feel embarrassed and ashamed of myself
For allowing my anger take over
Anger is my worst emotion
And the one I hate the most
The one I fear the most
That one day I will completely lose control
And hurt someone really bad
I try to avoid feeling anger as much as possible
It's the hardest emotion for me to control
Half of me wants to repress my emotions
So that I can stop hurting and letting myself get hurt
Yet, the other half of me wants to keep my humanity
To enjoy life even though it has been very cruel to me
Being human is so hard
But I don't want to be a lifeless piece of nothing either
Though it would seem blissful if I was
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