|
Alright, the first time i tried to leave a post, my computer decided it didn't like it. So let me try again, but now i have lost my train of thought.
Your story has a good basis, but seems rushed, especially the emotional parts. Try to explain more, not just the scenes but the emotions of the characters. They also seem two dimensional, there isn't anything for the reader to connect with. Try drawing the reader in, make them feel they are the lead character and draw the confusing of whether the character is becoming insane or that there really is a secret government organization out there.
|